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Old 11-12-2006, 10:45 AM   #1
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Train delay

Since Christmas is almost round the corner, I would like to share this joke with all of you.

A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of *****es who want off, get the **** off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of *****es who are getting on, get your a**** in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."

The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."

Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the ***** in the kitchen."

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Old 11-12-2006, 10:51 AM   #2
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Oh, thank you. I had heard that a couple of years ago and completely forgot about it. IT is darling!!! Love it.
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Old 11-12-2006, 10:56 AM   #3
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Hilarious, I think that kid grew up and got a job for the train company that covers my region!

A real life funny train story, as we are on the topic...

For a period of time my husband was commuting to the city about thirty miles north of here - Bristol. The station in our nearest village is tiny. No ticket office or anything like that, but for some reason all the trains go to the far platform that you get to by a bridge over the track. Well, as it was winter DH would delay leaving the warmth of my car by the foot of the bridge till a couple of minutes before the train arrived, then one day the train came early, groaning that he'd never get it DH made eye contact with the driver who shouted across that he would wait, so DH RAN over the bridge and as he went to open the train door the train drew off without him, the driver laughing and laughing. The next day, it was the same. So every morning DH went earlier and earlier, and the train arrived, and left without DH earlier and earlier, until it was not even stopping at the platform (we were the only users of that station at that time) until we came up with a plan. Next morning I stood by my car conspicuosly while the driver waved and saidf of course he would wait. While I smiled and started to run, DH jumped out of a bush next to the other platform and hopped on the train! We felt so pleased that day, lol.
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Old 11-12-2006, 11:06 AM   #4
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Good grief, Lulu. I hope you had the driver written up!
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Old 11-12-2006, 12:29 PM   #5
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Talk about patience ! Glad you two got him !
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Old 11-12-2006, 12:44 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Half Baked
Good grief, Lulu. I hope you had the driver written up!
LOL, we tried and tried. After about four months they investigated....and cancelled the stopping service at our station

They reesatablished it when we reported the now completely deserted car park had become a place for dealing drugs to kids. We and our neighbours even got CCTV installed.
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