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Old 11-17-2007, 02:49 PM   #21
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I hear what you are saying about your mom leg and I have no doubt you are right. You are in a tough situation though. You can help your mom which means you will be around alcohol and it might put you at greater risk of not kicking the habit yourself or you can let you her fend for herself in which case you will probably have guilt about that for the rest of your life. Neither choice is a happy one. You will not walk away saying wow I feel good about this. Only you can know what the right decision is for you. Whatever you choose, I really hope it works for you.
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Old 11-17-2007, 02:53 PM   #22
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thanks alot for taking the time to post GB. seriously....yeah it's a rough situation either way. but its getting better. when i first got here it was absolutely unbearable....but i feel that ive been mending things....i want my mom to be in my daughters life and she is sick with diabetes and might not have many years left.

cheers.
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Old 11-17-2007, 03:00 PM   #23
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I'm so sorry to hear you are suffering. You have had some good suggestions from wonderful people in this thread. The punching bag at the gym is a great idea. Also just walking around your town/neighborhood. Seeing a therapist will probably be the best thing (on top of not drinking anymore) you could do for YOU.

One suggestion, while you are staying with your Mom, buy some earplugs. They will help block out the dogs barking so you can get more uninterrupted sleep. Sleep is very very important. It will help with some of the symptoms related to the anxiety. (I suffer from mild anxiety and sleep really helps keep me calmer) I sleep with earplugs every night.

Like GB said, you are a smart guy and you WILL get through this. We are all here supporting you. A quote I read years ago that I still think of daily, courage is the power to leave the familiar.
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Old 11-17-2007, 03:09 PM   #24
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The gym is a good idea or long brisk walks in the fresh air.Im thinking the physical symptoms is your body detoxing which causes stress to go along with the stress of your home life.A healthy diet would be good as well.You need to learn to put your self in a calmer state.Just know you will feel better soon.Just remember your wife must really love you to kick your butt out.
The doctor could help you on this with something temporary to help you calm down and to take the edge off.I would explore every possibility.Go on the internet you might find a whole bunch of options and support as well.
Hang in there guy we are all here rooting for you and know that you are not alone.It takes a brave man to tell us your troubles.
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Old 11-17-2007, 04:12 PM   #25
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MLB....In July of 2005 I lost my beloved Mother, and 9 weeks later my only brother! To say I was grief stricken puts it mildly. One of the things that was suggested to me by a friend was, to go help, reach out to, love, lift up, and encourage others who were grieving from loses they had recently experienced. By doing all of this, it helped me overcome my own burdens, and grief. It was through 'giving' that I 'received' so much help and peace of mind. I don't know if this principle would apply to you and your mom or not, but you could discuss it with your professional counselor. It could be that by "giving" your all, "dedicating" yourself totally to helping, encouraging, and lifting up your mother to help her over come her addictions, it may help you in turn to overcome your own. You may not be successful in helping your mother, but I promise you my young friend, you will never, never, regret trying!
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Old 11-17-2007, 04:48 PM   #26
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Uncle Bob, i cant even begin to fathom a loss of that magnitude. It really makes my situation pale in comparison. I guess it could be worse. God, that is a terrifying thought. Crippling actually.

good idea, btw. great idea
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Old 11-17-2007, 05:06 PM   #27
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Bucky, thank you for getting this discussion back on track. Everyone, lets stick to the topic at hand. If other things need to be discussed then please take it to PM's or a new topic if appropriate.
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Old 11-17-2007, 05:06 PM   #28
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MLB....Your Mother 'Gave' you life. Maybe you can help "Give" her life back. Don't walk away from your mother....Run to her!!! Help her in this hour of need. Both of your lives will be richly blessed!!! You are strong! You can do it!
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Old 11-17-2007, 05:24 PM   #29
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legs, i'm not sure if you saw what i wrote before.

before you decide against going to aa, check out a guys only meeting. not everything there is about the 12 steps. the steps are just a guideline for people, umm, i guess who need or want more instruction or direction. but there's a lot of guys who've been through or are going through the same thing as you, and can offer good advice and a good sounding board for your feelings.

and good on ya for thinking about taking care of your mom. again, give yourself some credit and believe that you'll accomplish your goals.

once you get your life on the right track, you probably find that your shoulders are big enough to bear some of her burden as well.

i hope all of this works out for you. if you have any questions, feel free to pm me.
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Old 11-17-2007, 05:42 PM   #30
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Man, I feel your pain. I've undergone some horrific stress/depression/anxiety in the past. Your doctor will give you some medication that will help, but the single best thing you can do is get some exercise!
I know you don't feel like you can drag yourself out of the house, but force yourself to do it! Go take a walk...mow the yard, rake leaves, walk the dogs.
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