Tremendous stress/depression

[Alix]

MLB, sounds like you hit the bottom and you are now on the road back up. Tough road, but good for you. Can I just say that you need to do it for you and not for anyone else? And helping your mom is wonderful, but you are going to need to be strong for yourself first.

Please do reconsider finding an AA meeting and getting sponsored. I'm not sure what other supports are available to you, but this is a battle you don't need to fight alone. There is lots of support out there and you need the help.

I'm glad you came to us. We are a big family and we're here to support one another. Hang in there big guy.

Angie, keep up the hard work. Call on us when you need us, we're here for you too.

 

[auntdot]

What Legs? You mean that avatar is not your actual likeness????

I am crushed as mine certainly is. Don't remember when that picture was taken however.

As a crusty old bat let me just say we need a guy like you, and I am not just talking about on DC.

This can be a tough time of year. But it need not be.

Just do the best you can and with your obvious guts and gumption everything will work out.

God bless.

 

[Bilby]

Hope all has been well in your world today, or depending on the time difference, will be well in your world today.

 

[Dina]

Prayers are coming your way legsbig. There is lots of help out there besides AA. Seek help for you and your mother. I will be praying for your health and your family's reunion. Stay strong and know that we're here for support.

 

[Mylegsbig]

thanks so much..

 

[Fisher's Mom]

Hey Legs, you're a brave man and I'm seriously proud of you.

My only advice is this - this early period has been hard on you physically and emotionally and you're shown a lot of courage facing this. I think sometimes the hardest part comes when life goes back to normal. All the little and big things that make up our lives. The car or the a/c breaks, your boss becomes a pain, your wife rags on you, your child goes through an annoying stage. If you have learned to get through those things, along with the boredom that sometimes exists in our lives, using alcohol, you may find it gets tough again. Plan for this. The best way to kick a habit is to replace it with another one. The gym sounds great. Hobbies are good. Many people use AA for this purpose. It doesn't matter - just make sure you have something you automatically do when/if the restlessness hits.

I have a lot of faith in you and know you can make it. You have a lot of friends here that care about you and what you are working on. I'm one of them.

Terry

 

[CharlieD]

I am with Alix. You may find your own way latter, but when you hit bottom you need the organised structure of AA. I also think at this point you need to check into some facility that will not let you out. You may need somebody to bring youin and tell them to hold on on you untill you are ready to go. Adiction is a very hard thing to fight on your own, you need help, profecional help.

 

[Reanie525i]

You can not do this on your own OR for anyone else but yourself. There are many upbeat and good AA meetings - All of them are different - Keep going untill you find a group you feel good about - Also remember if you are at a meeting you are not home thinking about not drinking - also you are further from temptation!!! Keep going to the meetings - fake it till you make it - Just take one day and one thing at a time - Here if you need to talk -

 

[David Cottrell]

You can not do this on your own OR for anyone else but yourself. There are many upbeat and good AA meetings - All of them are different - Keep going untill you find a group you feel good about - Also remember if you are at a meeting you are not home thinking about not drinking - also you are further from temptation!!! Keep going to the meetings - fake it till you make it - Just take one day and one thing at a time - Here if you need to talk -

Reanie525i (?) You just said what I wanted to say but I said it in such an unkind way it had to be rightfully taken off. You are right. You said it all. There is no other. Not cooking, not workouts, not anything. I wish mylegs all the best, I really do. There aren't any short cuts or easy outs. Good luck man, no, luck won't do it, good hard word on it with the support system you need will do it. Reanie said it correctly - you have to want it for yourself. All the best.

 

[LEFSElover]

I've finally read all the responses to this thread and I, with you, am amazed at the brilliance of this wonderful group of fine individuals.

Please, do read and reread what they've said. I pm'd you with a few things.

There are so many wonderful pieces of info on these pages. I would agree to write things down. That helps me when l'm having a rough bout with whatever is plaguing me. Make a list of the goods and bads in your life. Concentrate on the good more than the bad and really try hard to focus on one more good thing to add to the list, even if it's minimal.

You can do this, you can and must be strong, with the help of loved ones, and that includes us here, this will have a new ending to how you feel now. Just believe...

 

[Mylegsbig]

UPDATE:

I got my mom to quit drinking! Remember i saw i had been weaning her off the booze slowly? Well yesterday she finally went to the doctor to get some benzos so she can detox, and she hasnt been drinking since. im going to keep her off this.

Im also doing excellent myself. slightly better. but a few times a day i still get very agitated, and pace around, and have trouble breathing, consumed with fear and panic.

I also still am having a hard time sleeping, but im staying strong.

Thanks so much again for all of your kind words.

Im making dinner tonight, going to marinate some chicken breasts in beer, lime juice, garlic, cilantro, and then bake them and serve them with cheddar cheese on flour tortillas, served with spanish rice.

 

[Mylegsbig]

Hey Legs, you're a brave man and I'm seriously proud of you.

My only advice is this - this early period has been hard on you physically and emotionally and you're shown a lot of courage facing this. I think sometimes the hardest part comes when life goes back to normal. All the little and big things that make up our lives. The car or the a/c breaks, your boss becomes a pain, your wife rags on you, your child goes through an annoying stage. If you have learned to get through those things, along with the boredom that sometimes exists in our lives, using alcohol, you may find it gets tough again. Plan for this. The best way to kick a habit is to replace it with another one. The gym sounds great. Hobbies are good. Many people use AA for this purpose. It doesn't matter - just make sure you have something you automatically do when/if the restlessness hits.

I have a lot of faith in you and know you can make it. You have a lot of friends here that care about you and what you are working on. I'm one of them.

Terry

Much wisdom...fantastic post

 

[Barb L.]

Keep up the good work, your on your way !! Just keep looking forward!

 

[GB]

Legs that is great news. Keep up the good work. I am a little concerned though. Why are you marinating your chicken in beer if you are trying to kick alcohol? You should really not have any alcohol in the house, even for cooking.

 

[Mylegsbig]

There is half a tecate left in the fridge and i see no reason not to use it. Be a good chance to get rid of it without being wasteful.

thanks for your concern though, friend.

cheers

 

[YT2095]

wording it Politely, it`s a BAD Idea!

throw it down the sewer! it`s a Toxin/Poison to you! and as deadly and insidious as any other you care to mention!

think: Superman/Kryptonite... Superman/Kryptonite... Superman/Kryptonite...
and keep repeating that.

and although I admire your attempt to get your mom off the bottle, you Really should be focusing on YOU and you alone, you have enough problems yourself, you do NOT need to shoulder someone else`s, no Seriously, you Don`t!

Bro, I`m sorry and all that but Now is the time to get really SELFISH! and start thinking about YOU alone, THEN when you concur your problem you may afford to be helpful to others.

and I really think you can do it too

 

[Mylegsbig]

wording it Politely, it`s a BAD Idea!

throw it down the sewer! it`s a Toxin/Poison to you! and as deadly and insidious as any other you care to mention!

think: Superman/Kryptonite... Superman/Kryptonite... Superman/Kryptonite...
and keep repeating that.

and although I admire your attempt to get your mom off the bottle, you Really should be focusing on YOU and you alone, you have enough problems yourself, you do NOT need to shoulder someone else`s, no Seriously, you Don`t!

Bro, I`m sorry and all that but Now is the time to get really SELFISH! and start thinking about YOU alone, THEN when you concur your problem you may afford to be helpful to others.

and I really think you can do it too

Maybe youre right about the beer bro. Ill toss it.

As for mom, so far, the job has been done. The hardest thing has always been getting her to quit.

She has quit twice before, for four years one time, and 8 years another.

I had to get her off the sauce so i could better focus on my recovery.

She is a completely different person when she's sober. Now i can recover in peace(relative peace, shes still very annoying)

btw - thanks for the referral. Your friend is great.

 

[DawnT]

Dear Mylegsbig, My husband and my FIL are recovering alcoholics. YT is correct in saying get rid of the booze. We have not had any in our home in 15 years. Don't ever cook or bake with it, don't even miss it!! My husband took the $$ he would have used on beer and bought his first motocross racer in just 3 mos. and hasn't looked back and said "gee I wish I had a drink." Good luck with every thing, I know you can pull yourself through it. Then you can have the energy to work with your wife to help Mom.
Dawn

 

[Mylegsbig]

Hey Dawn, i used to ride motocross too. I rode when i was younger. last one was a honda CR-125

 

[*amy*]

Legs, I also read you are cooking w beer & wasn't going to say anything. Since GB brought it up - I'm gonna shoot straight from the hip.

No alcohol or drug of choice should be in the house. Any central office will wait on the phone while you dump it down the drain. You don't like aa because it's depressing & won't go to meetings. You are living w an alcoholic & think you are helping by weaning another alcoholic - then taking benzos (addictive) & sending your mom for benzos for relief.

Please know that this is not a criticism, but you are not ready to stop using. I wanted to post a link for sober living houses, but you will probably not like that either, as you go to meetings & must be substance free. If you drink or use you will probably be kicked out. I do think you may benefit from structure. i.e. go to meetings every day.

Go to a Speaker meeting. Get a booklet of meetings - there are non-smoking meetings & you don't have to drink the coffee. You are not thinking clearly right now. If you go to aa (any step meeting), you will be with people that are sincere about quitting & you will hear/read "We tried to find a softer way."

Another concern, is having benzos & alcohol in the house. The longer you wait from the time you get out of rehab or detox - with no backup plan - tools & support (& live with someone who is still using); the likelihood of relapse is very high. Please try not to sub one addiction for another - prescription meds. When you do go to the shrink, if you mix alcohol & anti depressants or benzos - you have a lethal combo & you can accidentally over diose. Alcohol is a depressant.

If & when you are ready to quit (& that is your choice), send me a pm. I do wish you luck, but you need to remove yourself from a drinking/using living situation.

During the holidays (particularly on Thanksgiving & Christmas day), 12 step programs have a bring your own dish get together after meetings; & social activities that are substance free. Call the central office & go to a meeting w another member. They will have someone call you back in 20 mins & take you to a meeting,