Tremendous stress/depression

[Mylegsbig]

Guys, this is a rough time for me. Im hoping some of you can share your feelings and insight into this.

Im relatively young - 26 - and my life has always fared well, and ive been prosperous and blessed.

But recently its taken a catastrophic turn. I am separated from my family because of my drinking problem, and i am not allowed to go to my house.

The only place i can stay is with my mother, and she is a severe alcoholic, with rage issues. Also, my wife has my car, and access to our finances.

Ive never felt pain or stress like this, it's an alien feeling. I always scoffed at comments like "stress kills"" "im so stressed......"

But man, this pain/stress/depression, coupled with my quitting alcohol in order to earn back my wife, is killing me. Im completely consumed with fear.

I thought it was just mental, but it's not. Some of my hair has fallen out. I cant sleep, I can barely eat, and when i do, i only crave grease. When i do sleep i am interrupted by my moms four barking dogs, and am plagued by nightmares. I have constant diarrhea, and trouble breathing at times. My breathing rate increases and i start to hyperventilate. I am scheduled to see a psychiatrist on the 28th.

I never knew the power of stress, and i just wanted to get this off of my chest, and to see if any of you have any ideas on how i can possibly alleviate even a fraction of the symptoms.

cheers,

legsbig

 

[YT2095]

well the Doctor on the 28`th is certainly a PLUS!

go to an AA meeting too if you can, the people there have been through what you are going through (some even worse sadly), they will be able to help plenty with practical advice, the number Should be in the yellow pages.

if it get`s Too bad call the Samaritans, they are are listed in the yellow pages.

if you like I can try put you in touch with a Scientist friend of mine, also a recovering alcoholic (in the USA), and he`s been clean for years now after having similar problems.
I will need to ask his permission 1`st though.

if he`s cool with the idea, I`ll PM you

 

[jabbur]

Hey, first let me say that I'm sorry you're going through this. It is not easy to kick any addiction. While the psychiatrist is a good thing, with your other physical symptoms, see your regular doctor NOW! If you can't get an appointment, go to the ER and tell them what is going on. They usually have crisis counselors that can help you today. Secondly, find somewhere else to stay even if it is a shelter. Your mother's alcoholism will not help you. You don't need the added temptation and stress her lifestyle adds. Find an AA chapter you can easily get to. Someone there will be able to help you with everything and will be a great support for you because most likely they have been where you are. You cannot do this alone and you shouldn't but your mom is not the person to turn to now. YOU CAN DO THIS! We'll be praying for you.

 

[Mylegsbig]

No friend, no need, i have some appointments coming up.

Tried AA, wasn't for me. It was pretty depressing, and everyone was chugging coffee and smoking cigarettes.

I wonder if hitting the gym would help?

Ive been trying to do alot of all day cooking like chili, bolognese, lots of chopping and checking the pot, stuff to keep my mind off of it....

thanks for the kind words, YT

 

[buckytom]

the best thing that i can say, legs, is that you're not alone.

many, many people have had to go through both of those he!!s (alcoholism and marriage seperation).

first of all, begin to believe in yourself. you're not giving yourself enough credit.

you didn't have a blessed life up 'till now because you were an a$$. you are a good person. i can say that based on what i've read from your posts, and especially from the fact that you're trying to nail down a problem and are suffering because of it. that shows that you know what's right and what's wrong. all ya gotta do is get rid of the things that caused you to get in such despair, then make up for the damage. unfortunately, that's easier said than done.

now, as far as the wife thing goes? depending on what you did, what she's seen, what her life was up 'till now (relationships are a two way street, no matter how you cut them. and women drive mack trucks ), she's gonna make you jump through flaming hoops to get back out of the dog house. and it may take a while, while your butt gets burned. you still might lose everything. but if you believe in yourself, you'll land on your feet, and no matter what the outcome, you'll be alright.

maybe even better than before.

 

[Mylegsbig]

My friend the idea of going to a shelter is just terrible. I could intrude on a friend before i have to resort to that. Im no longer physically withdrawing from alcohol, but the mental symptoms im sure are adding to the other stress....... thanks for the words....

ive been steadily getting my mom to drink less and less...honestly now that im stuck here i feel kind of obligated to help her out. She doesnt have many years left. Im tapering her down of alcohol slowly but steadily.

ps - ive been smoking wayyyyy too much. before i was a 1 or 2 cig a day guy. i smoke prob a pack a day now.

as for going to my doctor - yes sir - already went monday, going again this monday, then the psychiatrist on the 28th.

I had some benzodiazepines initially prescribed to curb the withdrawal symptoms, but they are gone.

 

[Mylegsbig]

the best thing that i can say, legs, is that you're not alone.

many, many people have had to go through both of those he!!s (alcoholism and marriage seperation).

first of all, begin to believe in yourself. you're not giving yourself enough credit.

you didn't have a blessed life up 'till now because you were an a$$. you are a good person. i can say that based on what i've read from your posts, and especially from the fact that you're trying to nail down a problem and are suffering because of it. that shows that you know what's right and what's wrong. all ya gotta do is get rid of the things that caused you to get in such despair, then make up for the damage. unfortunately, that's easier said than done.

now, as far as the wife thing goes? depending on what you did, what she's seen, what her life was up 'till now (relationships are a two way street, no matter how you cut them. and women drive mack trucks ), she's gonna make you jump through flaming hoops to get back out of the dog house. and it may take a while, while your butt gets burned. you still might lose everything. but if you believe in yourself, you'll land on your feet, and no matter what the outcome, you'll be alright.

maybe even better than before.

thank you my friend...yes my wife is still here, she just doesnt want to be around me until i can prove i can stay sober for 60 days. Most ive ever done was like 20. Shes says thats just not enough anymore.....

 

[Katie H]

Oh, Mylegs. I'm so sorry for your distress. You must feel as though you are drowning in the bottom of a black pit.

Your idea of going to the gym is a good one. Working out, especially on a heavy bag, is a good way to release stress. The invigoration of a good workout and a nice shower after will help you to clean out some of the cobwebs in your head.

You have taken the first step toward making your world right by putting alcohol behind you. You are smart enough to know that things won't get back to normal in one day so, in the wise words of my grandfather, "Take it easy; make it nice."

Don't forget that your DC family is always here to offer a shoulder when necessary and support. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[buckytom]

well, then, you have an opportunity.

this is no time to feel down. you're never lost if there's an obvious goal ahead.

just 'cause you can't see it at the moment doesn't mean it's not there. you should feel lucky that you even have the chance.

it's all a matter of will and perspective.

now, the gym would be a great thing. even if it's just trading one addiction for another for now, it's a healthy addiction. lol, unfortunately, it'll help you live longer, and if your life sucks, then it sucks longer as well.

j/k.

ya see? it's all about perspective. try to think this one through, and see your way to what you want in life. then go do it.

btw, exercise helps to flood the brain with chemicals that drugs try to replicate, so it'll help with certain feelings of need.

 

[jabbur]

You say AA is not for you but how many meetings did you attend and was it always the same one? There are different groups and maybe the one you were at wasn't a good match for you. Check out several different meetings and you may be suprised at how different each one is. While they all follow the 12 steps, the personalities of the group change the dynamics of the meetings. You can also call your church if you have one for help. Most pastors have contact info for many services available in your community and may be able to direct you to a group to help you.

 

[GotGarlic]

No friend, no need, i have some appointments coming up.

Tried AA, wasn't for me. It was pretty depressing, and everyone was chugging coffee and smoking cigarettes.

I wonder if hitting the gym would help?

Ive been trying to do alot of all day cooking like chili, bolognese, lots of chopping and checking the pot, stuff to keep my mind off of it....

thanks for the kind words, YT

Hey, Legs. I'm sorry you're having to go through this. It sounds really difficult, but it also sounds like you're doing all the right things to turn things around.

I think it would be a great idea to hit the gym. I have two chronic illnesses, and I think DH has suffered more stress from them than I have, but he always makes time for going running or riding his bike (and I always encourage him to keep up his routine). It definitely helps alleviate stress. There's more info about that here: Exercise and Stress Relief -How To Relieve Stress with Exercise

Good luck and let us know how it goes.

 

[buckytom]

legs, try finding a men only meeting of aa.

instead of all of the wishy washy, humour-less, self depricating sob stories of people who need to hear themselves speak, trying to find their way out of their mess, you'll hear a bunch of guys who'll talk about a lot of the same issues that you're dealing with.

 

[Mylegsbig]

Honestly i only tried it once jabbur. Ill give it some thought. Ive been to rehab twice in the past though and im not a fan at all of the 12 steps. It isn't for everyone. Group therapy would be cool, but im just not big on the 12 steps.

The heavy bag is an amazing idea. Im gonna hit the gym. I havent worked out in nearly 6 months

 

[Mylegsbig]

whoa, thanks for the link.

 

[Angie]

I'm an addict. I've got depression. I almost lost my family a few months ago. PM me if you need, we can talk.

 

[Mylegsbig]

sorry to hear that angie...and thank you.....

 

[QSis]

Hi MLB. I don't have anything to add to the words of advice of all of the above posters - they speak wisely.

However, I just wanted to say that I feel so sorry for all the pain and heartache that you are going through, and to add my support of you in your journey to brighter days ahead. I know you will get through this, and it will all be a tough memory.

I'm glad you came here to us. Keep in touch - we are here for you!

Lee

 

[Mylegsbig]

thanks Lee

 

[GB]

Well you are on the right track leg. You know what you need to do and you are taking steps to do it.

You said the idea of going to a shelter is just terrible. Something you have to accept is that the situation you are already in is terrible (I know you already know that). staying with your mom, no matter how noble it may seem, is a bad move. You need to remove yourself for any environment where alcohol is part of the equation. If that means doing something you desperately do not want to do like going to a shelter or something then you just have to man up and do it. Do it for your family and do it for yourself. It is going to suck, but you will get through it.

Don't worry about the cigs right now. Alcohol is far more destructive to you at this stage of the game and trying to quit 2 habits right now would be too much to take on. Kick the booze and then once you have that behind you then you can conquer the butts.

I wish you the best of luck man. You are a smart guy and I have no doubt you can do this.

 

[Mylegsbig]

thanks so much guys....really has made me feel better to get this off my chest...im cooking right now, half baking some potatoes so i can fry them later..chopping up some jalapenos...doing prep for my tacos tonight....

also, i took out some frustration by scrubbing my fav calphalon 12 inch skillet.....i busted out some barkeepers friend and i just went at it like MAD...the before and after pics would be crazy...

GB...as for my mom....im her only son here and i didnt know her conditions were so bad. i have to do all i can to improve her condition...or if she dies i will live to regret it

people say life is short...but life is long....especially if your life is filled with regrets....