Venting

[texasgirl]

Originally Posted by pdswife

ok.. I've venting. LOUDLY.!!!

I just posted under "what was the last thing that made you smile"
My happy news that I GET TO HAVE CHRISTMAS AT HOME THIS YEAR".

Christmas has been hard for as long as I can remember. Mom and dad divorced when I was 8. Mom and I moved up here while everyone else stayed in Oregon. Every year we had to go down for both holidays and it was always a huge fight between mom and dad about when they'd each get me. It'd start a month a head of time and continue until Jan. Fight after fight... All I ever wanted was to wake up in my own bed on Christmas morning. This year I get too!!!

Years pass... I meet Paul and we pretty much do Christmas and Thanksgiving at his parents place in Salem. Mom was always invited. She came once or twice. We'd have Christmas and Thanksgiving with mom a few days before or a few days after. She hated this because it only counts as "spending the holiday with her" if we are there on the actual date. So, about four years ago we started trading off. Christmas with Paul's family and Thanksgiving with her. The next year Christmas ON CHRISTMAS day with mom and Thanksgiving with Paul's family. Paul's folks are very understanding about this and have no problems at all. We miss out on so much though. Christmas eve is one of the most special nights in the family. Everyone is there 25-30 of us sometimes more. Good food, good friends, good times. Mom just doesn't understand. She's invited but refuses to come. So, every other year we miss the party.

This Christmas was supposed to be spent at Mom's house. She just moved in with Grandpa though and there's no room for us at his house, David can't take time off work to drive all the way down there and grandpa has a very very bad drinking problem... SO, a few days ago I invited mom up here for Christmas. She said YES. She sounded fine with it, happy even because she didn't want to spend christmas at her dad's either... She called awhile ago and informed me that "next year will be her turn and she expects us to go to her house" After all she's missing having her Christmas turn!!!!!!!
There's no way we can rotate the holidays at this point. There are too many other family members and people involved. I'm so mad at her.

I know it doesn't seem like a big deal... I did a bad job explaining how painful the holidays have always been. I just want everyone ( including ME) to be happy and I don't think that it's ever going to happen.

Thanks for listening.

T

I understand why your angry pds. Your mom needs to understand that she isn't missing "her turn" you are spending this Christmas with her still, just not at her house. Next year is with Paul's. Hopefully, she will get over it. If not, then tell her she isn't being fair to you and that this IS her year, that is why you invited her to your house. I hope that you get it straightened out. Just don't let it get to you right now, enjoy your holidays. Worry about ticking her off next year

[pdswife]

Thanks Texas. I'm feeling calmer now.
Counted to 100 and took many deep breaths. lol!

[PA Baker]

PDS, I've been through similar situations with "sharing" holidays and can sympathize. Hang in there--it'll get straigtened out. {{hugs!}}

Originally Posted by kadesma

licia,
I sometimes wonder if the parents have been sitting on their brains all day!!! I would be so hurt if someone thought my grandkids were brats for misbehaving...I feel we bring them into the world and it's our task to teach them right and wrong..So that people will look and them and think what nice children they are..In fact I had 18 month old Ethan out to dinner with me and DH, his mommy and daddy, he sat in his high chair and just ate all the veggies we gave him, drank his milk and asked nicely "more" for biscuit with jam..A lady who was sitting right behind me stopped at our table as she left and said " what a good little boy, how well he ate his dinner" Think I didn't glow all the way to the car??? Sure, but we try very hard to see that the boys are well behaved..And Licia,yours is grown up a little, but he is still allowed to be a child, he's just a well behaved child...That's cause you love him and want him to be liked and respected...So you see to it he behaves...We need more grandma's like you

kadesma

We are a family of twelve. People stare at us when we go places. Mommy says because we are so many we have to be on our best behavior or else people really get a bad impression of kids and even our 3-year-old twins can sit through church. Mommy is not afraid to take us to the store she just doesn't want to haul ten kids while trying to shop!

What I find annoying is when anyone of my 8 younger siblings gets in my stuff or when people stare at us and stare at us and stare at us and stare at us... or even when my well meaning older brother tries to help me with something (using his Acts of Service love language) when I don't need help (which I am an Encouraging Words love language, Him and my mom have the same love language so my Mom really is thankful for him).

Cameron

[licia]

I suppose we left out another component of good behavior - adults. I was focusing so much on children (and their parents) that I overlooked the fact that adults even without children show very bad manners and I would say for those who stare at a family that is behaving well unless it is a look of admiration, it is indeed very bad manners. I have seen kids act with more decorum than their parents and that is really something to marvel at. I suppose the real issue is that we be considerate of each other and make the experience we recall in happiness rather than to rile us each time we remember it.

[buckytom]

ya don't have to have kids to act badly, of course. i remember going up to salem, mass. for haloween a few years ago with my wife's gaggle of yenta friends.
one morning, we all met at a diner for breakfast, and while waiting for a table, jammed in the foyer with a couple of families with young kids, i got annoyed enough at them (the yentas) to actually tell them to shut the f up in front of the children. they were going on, much like geese in the evenings, and on and on about things that little ears shouldn't hear, and peppered with swear words.
at least i got a slight smile of thanks from the parents.

[crewsk]

I picked up the kids from school today & Savannah said that her teacher said she didn't do any of her homework this week & she had to spend her recess time doing it. Savannah was so upset that she was crying & couldn't breathe. Well, I called her teacher & she told me that her assistant takes care of all that & she would check with her. I double checked Savannah's folder this morning before school & all her work was in it & the floder was inside her backpack. The teacher acted like I was lying!! Now, you tell me why in the world would a child who has turned in all their homework on time since the beginning of school suddenly not bring it in for a whole week?! That tickes me off more than anything at all!

I'm sorry, I really do like her teachers & have had no problems communicating with them before but this just really rubbed me the wrong way today.

OK, I'm going to go play with the kids & TC's class bunny & calm down.

[pdswife]

Poor Savanah! What a bad day for both of you.

Have fun playing with the bunny!!

[crewsk]

Thanks pds! We did have fun with the bunny, she's sleeping peacefully in her cage now.

[Alix]

Pssst! Crewsk, you shouldn't tell people you put Savannah in a cage to sleep!