Venting

[mudbug]

why am I and another mom always the only two who ferry these kids everywhere?

yet again, a friend of my daughter's needs a ride both ways to an athletic event. her parents never seem to be able to drive a carful of kids to any of the functions this group of friends attend.

I don't want to take it out on the kid, but I am really getting fed up with this set of parents as well as another whose child always needs a ride.

[kadesma]

Originally Posted by mudbug

why am I and another mom always the only two who ferry these kids everywhere?

yet again, a friend of my daughter's needs a ride both ways to an athletic event. her parents never seem to be able to drive a carful of kids to any of the functions this group of friends attend.

I don't want to take it out on the kid, but I am really getting fed up with this set of parents as well as another whose child always needs a ride.

I hate to say it, but unless you hit them in the pocket book, they will keep taking advantage. I always had a car full when we had kids playing baseball. I always worked the snack bar, I always chipped in for pizza, there were several sets of parents, who never but never did a thing except make sure to grab at least 2-3 pieces of pizza each..(the pizza was for the kids) adults would buy their own pizza and chip in for the kids. These two were never hungry, we will just have a bite here and there..YEP I wanted to bite them alright!!!I got to the point where I just up and told the mom, hey I love your son and he is always welcome to a ride...But this is costing me time to pick him up and bring him home ( all the others met at school and left from there) so I'm going to need some gas and food money!!! Gosh darn, they suddenly had the car fixed and food in a picnic basket Hummm strange isn't it?

kadesma who can laugh about it now but then

[Dina]

Kadesma is right Mud. If you don't speak up, they will continue taking advantage. I swap every now and then with another mom to pick up my son from football but I make sure and offer myself to get her boy when need be for her. It works both ways.

Alix,
I know how you feel. I hear mine gripe all the time and it's only to me. I tell them to work it out or they're grounded. I encourage good manners, respect and love between them, but it's just like cats and dogs most of the time. I hope once they begin the church youth group, things get better between them. Hey, and we moms are allowed to be crabby too. Things will get better Alix. Thanks to my wine tonight, I'm beginning to give a hoot about everything! LOL

[Alix]

Thanks Dina. Mine started their youth groups this week. Didn't help! LOL. Currently the house is in an uproar because the Eskimos are losing to Hamilton. It isn't pretty around here.

[Dina]

I need to know that I'm not the meanest mom on earth. Just finished a converstation with my son about consequences. He ended up getting two failing grades this week in Math and Social Studies and expected me to let him go to the movies with six of his friends. (Supposedly, they were to meet at the theatre and all moms are going to drop them off there.) He was excited but when I checked the online grades, I asked for an explanation. The 60 on Social Studies was for no participation and the zero on a math quiz, he could NOT remember. I was calm about the whole thing, explained that if the work wasn't done at school, it was to be done at home so he had NO TIME to go out with his friends tonight. Called husband and spoke to him alone about this and he agreed with me about the whole decision. My son's tears started rolling and of course, my heart started sinking. I know how much this means to him and how he's hurting but I need to stay firm on this. I know this is tough love but it's tearing me apart to know he's hurting and thinking I'm a cruel and mean mom. Sigh! I need to vent out somehow. I'm off to soccer practice with my daughter now...thanks for listening.

[Katie E]

You made the right decision, Dina. Yes, I know it's Firday night and the weekend is just beginning but, sorry young man, consequences are not as fun as going to the movies. Should've thought of that when you were messing up social studies and math. "No personal social studies until things are brought up to speed. Do the math."

I know it it hard on you to be firm but if you're not, he'll get used to pushing more and more. Children have to know there are boundaries. Too many parents don't dig their heels in and just say, NO.

Hang in there. The best part is that you and your husband are showing a united front with your son. That's paramount. This teaches the child that they won't get one answer from mom or another answer from dad. Good for you. You'll be okay. Lean on each other.

[mudbug]

Dina, darlin - been there done that.

You are not the meanest mom on earth (I am the current titleholder, unless Michelle Marie has said no lately)

Of course this movie is the most important movie they've ever needed to see (they're all serious film students, aren't they?)

It is so hard to have your kid shut you out because you said no to their latest whim.

Best wishes, my dear.

[Alix]

Ow Dina. I know how much that hurts. No consolation right now, but what you just did made your son a better person. He will remember now that EVERY decision has a consequence and make better choices for himself in the future. Hugs to you sweet lady, that was a hard one. You did good, even though it hurts.

[mrsmac]

Dina you have done the right thing but I know how hard it is.I too am often the meanest mum around cause EVERYONE elses mums are letting them go!! Last week I was embarrassing cause I insisted on calling the mum whose house Jess (14) was sleeping over at (I had never met the woman) Apparantly other people's mums just let them stay over anywhere without ever meeting or speaking to the other parents!!

[Alix]

Originally Posted by mrsmac

Apparantly other people's mums just let them stay over anywhere without ever meeting or speaking to the other parents!!

Well if that isn't the dumbest thing ever. Did I ever mention the "sleepover" party a friend of mine told me about? Her son (13) was invited to this sleepover party, and so she went over there later to drop off some snacks and found out it was to be a CO-ED sleepover!! And in the CAMPER yet...with no adult supervision. Suffice it to say he didn't get to stay for THAT.