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Old 11-29-2010, 08:21 PM   #221
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Perhaps they thought you were not interested if you haven't spoken in years. I don't think I'd be so upset if that was the case. I don't see being told about a death would matter if the family wasn't in contact for years.
I agree. Why should they be responsible for your husband's relationship with his father? Why didn't he keep in touch enough to know that this happened? Peace, Munky.
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Old 11-29-2010, 08:23 PM   #222
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Thanks, I knew it was coming. I just have not found another job yet. I am kinda hoping for a mini vacation. Much needed after working at that place for over 5 years!!! I just hope I can get by on unemployment.

I stocked: the freezer with meat and veggies and Butter. Also canned and dried beans. Rice and Pasta. Cooking oils. Canned veggies and broth. (some I had to store under my bed hehehe) Flours and Sugars.
Having a chance to plan sure helps! I hope it is just a mini vacation.
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Old 11-29-2010, 08:54 PM   #223
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I agree. Why should they be responsible for your husband's relationship with his father? Why didn't he keep in touch enough to know that this happened? Peace, Munky.
I understand the 2 way street. For safety reasons I can't answer that question entirely. My husbands job won't allow that. But I can say after they had a blow up my husband tried many times to contact them, through anyone. And directly. His dad blew him off every time.

He's very hurt that the sisters that he loves dearly treated him this way.
Little by little every time he'd try and keep in contact they to dissed him.

They took sides. Made the choices. We might have moved, but my husband has been working at the same place for well over 20 years.
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Old 11-30-2010, 01:29 AM   #224
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I think I may lose my job. The couple who owns the place is going to get divorced and he is trying to force her in to bankrupcy. He is a @*##@!. It is running well and making a buck. You wouldn't believe the drama every day. Oh well, I have over 25 years experience in this trade and will be working soon enough. It sucks, because I like this job.
Rock mate wait till the last moment and buy it.
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Old 11-30-2010, 10:56 AM   #225
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I am sorry Monky, but I do not understand this. I don't know. Sounds strage to me. How is it possible? I cannot imagine not beeng in contact with my parents so I cannot possibly put my self in your or your husband shoes. I call my parents if not every day, for sure every other day. Sorry. Very strange.
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Old 11-30-2010, 11:21 AM   #226
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I am sorry Monky, but I do not understand this. I don't know. Sounds strage to me. How is it possible? I cannot imagine not beeng in contact with my parents so I cannot possibly put my self in your or your husband shoes. I call my parents if not every day, for sure every other day. Sorry. Very strange.
Charlie, you are very lucky. Not everyone has good relationships with their parents. That doesn't mean they don't love them, it just means being together, or talking is hard. My own personal experience is that although my Mom and I have always been close, since she was diagnosed with dementia she is not the person she used to be. There was a period of 8 months this year when we didn't speak because she was so nasty to me. I refuse to be treated badly and so refused to call her. Since that time, she has called to apologize and we have a tentative truce, but it is not the close relationship we once had. Cherish what you have Charlie, but know that not everyone is as blessed as you are.

Munky, I feel for you and your husband. That is very hard.

Rocklobster, I hope you don't spend too much time off work. I sort of like Bolas's idea though!
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Old 11-30-2010, 01:11 PM   #227
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Monkey, I'm sorry you and your husband are so hurt by this. Most problems are caused by a lack of communication with a family, it's sad really, because there always comes a day when it's too late. If your husband never expressed an interest in his father, how can it be assumed that the sisters would report "how Dad is doing" when the question wasn't asked? Perhaps they thought it best to not bring the subject up, and that's assuming your husband and his sisters had some kind of regular contact. I always say, the telephone rings both ways. Again, I'm sorry for his hurt, but sometimes outsiders can see the picture more clearly. I wish you and your husband peace, Monkey.
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Old 11-30-2010, 02:35 PM   #228
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Rock mate wait till the last moment and buy it.
I took that trip twice. Once for 2 and another for 13 years and am glad to be rid of it. I just want to finish off my career as a working stiff. I'm involved more than enough as a hourly paid manager. A bit of time off would be good. Its just too bad that they wouldn't close the place in the summer so I could enjoy the weather.
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Old 11-30-2010, 03:19 PM   #229
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Charlie, you are very lucky. Not everyone has good relationships with their parents. That doesn't mean they don't love them, it just means being together, or talking is hard. My own personal experience is that although my Mom and I have always been close, since she was diagnosed with dementia she is not the person she used to be. There was a period of 8 months this year when we didn't speak because she was so nasty to me. I refuse to be treated badly and so refused to call her. Since that time, she has called to apologize and we have a tentative truce, but it is not the close relationship we once had. Cherish what you have Charlie, but know that not everyone is as blessed as you are.

Munky, I feel for you and your husband. That is very hard.

Rocklobster, I hope you don't spend too much time off work. I sort of like Bolas's idea though!

I am not that lucky, believe me. i hate my father, that obusive son of a gun, the moment my mom is gone, may she live to be 180 and be healthy i would not have anything to do with him, well, I will still call see if he is still there. As a son I have responsibility. and believe me, though I love my mom, she drives me plenty crazy. But a s a good book says we have to respect and obey our parents and I intend to do so.
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Old 11-30-2010, 03:48 PM   #230
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Ooh, losing jobs - not fun. I hope that Rocklobster and PattY1 find wonderful jobs very quickly, with an opportunity for a bit of time of if you want it.

Family, grrr. Chef Munky, I'm so sorry that your husband's sisters showed so little understanding. I would be loathe to judge them, because, for all I know, they thought they had good reasons.

My own family didn't tell me how ill my dad was before he died. They thought they were saving me from worry.
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