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Old 07-31-2012, 10:45 PM   #2891
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Barbara L View Post
When a friend's baby died at age 4 months, someone said to her, "I know how you feel because my dog just died."


As I said, oblivious.
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Old 07-31-2012, 11:03 PM   #2892
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I have a child related vent myself. Most of you know I work as a therapist in a nursing home. I have two co- workers with children that are a couple of years younger then mine. When we get a new resident in that has something contagious one of the girls always mentions that the patient needs to be put on my schedule since their children do not have their immune system built up "as much as mine". (the other co- worker never says anything)

Follow your freaking precautions already and if someone is going to catch something, I don't want to take it home to my child anymore then you do. I chose this job and it doesn't bother me, I have done it for 12 years now without issues but for her to always say that really annoys me
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Old 07-31-2012, 11:04 PM   #2893
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I think the worst one I ever heard was when I lost my baby at five months of pregnancy, "It's probably for the best."
What a horrible thing to say. It is never for the best and there is always a hole left in one's heart. You needed your mom, I hope she came to be with you.
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Old 08-01-2012, 12:28 AM   #2894
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Four String Chef

That is a rough thing to say to someone in that situation. My mother had a 6 month miscarriage before me; I was supposed to be the youngest, my parents only wanted two. They tried again in the thought of just two. I was born; three years later my little brother was born. I can't say much for myself but I don't know what I would do without my brother. If the first try was successful, I would never have had him in my life and to think of my life without our relationship is a life I don't want to live. I know it was horrid for my parents to go threw such a thing but for me, "Its probably for the best", really was. I say this to you not to undermine your griefs but to tell you that sometimes awful things only seem awful when they happen. Its hard to see what's happening when one is on the inside of a situation. I mean all this with respect.

Cheers.
My Grandma had a really hard time having kids (C-sentions were a big deal 60 years ago), so after she had two girls and a boy, she quit. Unfortunately Cliffy died when he was two, so she had one more. That last child was my dad. If Cliffy hadn't died, I wouldn't be here...


On a side note, WHO, has my perfect, angelic, helpful bf been talking to??? Today, I asked him to cut up some mushrooms while I was making hand made ravioli, french bread, and sauce, and he cut them up and practically ran out of the kitchen, calling behind him, "There, the mushrooms are cut!" He was gone so fast my head spun lol
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Old 08-01-2012, 12:34 AM   #2895
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What a horrible thing to say. It is never for the best and there is always a hole left in one's heart. You needed your mom, I hope she came to be with you.
No, my sister paid for my ticket to come stay with her. She was the one who seemed to really understand.

My mum lived near my sister. I spent the day with her. We went for a walk. We met a young woman with a baby. My mum (who adored all children) oohed and ahed about the baby. Then, my mum started saying stuff like, "Isn't that a gorgeous baby?" "Yes." (Imagine a very abrupt tone of voice.) I couldn't believe she was making pay attention to a baby. I didn't say anything else, because it wasn't that young woman's fault that I was in a state. It had been bad enough taking the bus, which stopped at Disneyland and picked up lots of happy families. I closed my eyes and pretended I couldn't hear the kids. It took months before I could hear babies or young children without bursting into tears.
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Old 08-01-2012, 12:53 AM   #2896
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Oh my, I have tears in my eyes at these stories of losing children and people being heartless. I was never able to have a child and for many years this fact really bothered me. I felt I was being cheated and it was not a topic I wanted to discuss. My mother had 12 pregnancies (I was number 11) and three births were successful, though my middle sister died before I was born at age three. The last pregnancy was a boy who Mom felt stopped moving on my first birthday and was stillborn at 7 months a few days later. A "friend" of the family told me to not be so sad that I have no children "because at least you didn't have to go though all that your mother did to have you". Thanks lady!
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Old 08-01-2012, 12:58 AM   #2897
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Originally Posted by LPBeier
Oh my, I have tears in my eyes at these stories of losing children and people being heartless. I was never able to have a child and for many years this fact really bothered me. I felt I was being cheated and it was not a topic I wanted to discuss. My mother had 12 pregnancies (I was number 11) and three births were successful, though my middle sister died before I was born at age three. The last pregnancy was a boy who Mom felt stopped moving on my first birthday and was stillborn at 7 months a few days later. A "friend" of the family told me to not be so sad that I have no children "because at least you didn't have to go though all that your mother did to have you". Thanks lady!
People just don't have a clue. I'm so sorry you were never able to have a child. I'm sure your mom considers every ounce of pain worth it.
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Old 08-01-2012, 12:58 AM   #2898
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Originally Posted by LPBeier View Post
Oh my, I have tears in my eyes at these stories of losing children and people being heartless. I was never able to have a child and for many years this fact really bothered me. I felt I was being cheated and it was not a topic I wanted to discuss. My mother had 12 pregnancies (I was number 11) and three births were successful, though my middle sister died before I was born at age three. The last pregnancy was a boy who Mom felt stopped moving on my first birthday and was stillborn at 7 months a few days later. A "friend" of the family told me to not be so sad that I have no children "because at least you didn't have to go though all that your mother did to have you". Thanks lady!
The things people say, when they don't stop to think...
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Old 08-01-2012, 01:07 AM   #2899
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People just don't have a clue. I'm so sorry you were never able to have a child. I'm sure your mom considers every ounce of pain worth it.
Don't be sorry. I am blessed with probably 100 or more children over the years through youth groups, cooking at summer camp, and even working as a nanny. Some of my "kids" have married (I made many of their cakes) and I even have a few grand "kids"! I hated Mother's day because I wasn't one and my Mother passed away 17 years ago from cancer (yes, she was grateful for the children she had). Then I started getting flowers and cards from these young people and I realized that I didn't have to give birth to be a Mother at Heart.

Yes, I would love to have had a child with my husband, but we married late in life and I am so thankful I did not have any with my ex.!
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Old 08-01-2012, 01:11 AM   #2900
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The things people say, when they don't stop to think...
I'm sorry that you had your experience, TL. It is bad enough when it is a non family member, but for your Mom to not think would be really hard.
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