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Old 08-31-2013, 03:34 PM   #3611
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Quote:
Originally Posted by purple.alien.giraffe View Post
I submit for your review the following "conversation":

Person1(P1) - I'm going to go over there early to make sure the system connects to their network. I can't remember if I've ever connected to it before.

Person2(P2) - I'm pretty sure you did.

P1 - OK, well I'm still going to go over early because I can't remember for sure.

P2 - Weeelll, I'm pretty sure you did.

P1 - Well, I don't remember and I want to be sure.

P2 - Well I'm just telling you I think you did.

P1 - That's fine, you already said that. I get it. But this is for work so I'm just telling you I want to be sure.

P2 - Well, I'm pretty sure you did.


Would you consider this an argument?

I think P2 should have dropped it after the first exchange and let P1 go to work.
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Old 08-31-2013, 03:39 PM   #3612
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Yes. P2 is trying to "win." P1 doesn't want to run into an issue, especially one that could have been avoided by going early to double-check
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Old 08-31-2013, 03:44 PM   #3613
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Originally Posted by GotGarlic View Post
Yes. P2 is trying to "win."...

Exactly!
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Old 08-31-2013, 03:59 PM   #3614
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Quote:
Originally Posted by purple.alien.giraffe View Post
I submit for your review the following "conversation":

Person1(P1) - I'm going to go over there early to make sure the system connects to their network. I can't remember if I've ever connected to it before.

Person2(P2) - I'm pretty sure you did.

P1 - OK, well I'm still going to go over early because I can't remember for sure.

P2 - Weeelll, I'm pretty sure you did.

P1 - Well, I don't remember and I want to be sure.

P2 - Well I'm just telling you I think you did.

P1 - That's fine, you already said that. I get it. But this is for work so I'm just telling you I want to be sure.

P2 - Well, I'm pretty sure you did.


Would you consider this an argument?
P1 has far greater self-control than I do. I would have smacked P2 right at the end of the emboldened type. P1 has incredible self-control. Is "well-played" appropriate here p.a.g.?
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Old 08-31-2013, 04:21 PM   #3615
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I'm P1 and DH is P2. He didn't feel this was arguing, that he was just informing me of something. So then we argued about whether or not it was arguing. He didn't think we were arguing then either, just discussing differing view points. He didn't feel stressed or aggravated by it so he didn't consider it an argument. It ended when I pointed out that it was aggravating me and did he really think it was worth continuing to inform me of something if it was obvious it was aggravating me? He agreed that in this instance it wasn't.

Unfortunately I've been stressed lately, and I know there have been times when I've been too easily aggravated or considered something confrontational when it wasn't. I wasn't sure if this was one of those times so I needed a baseline. I was worried that I was being unreasonable. Thanks to everyone who answered. Sometimes it's really nice to have outside perspective.
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Old 08-31-2013, 04:38 PM   #3616
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I've been in this position before and still am from time to time. I have learned when SO has a thought in her mind, there is no point telling her otherwise. I just shut up and let it happen. While that is sometimes difficult, I've avoided conflict and earned the right to rub it in that I was right.
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Old 08-31-2013, 04:45 PM   #3617
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Quote:
Originally Posted by purple.alien.giraffe View Post
I'm P1 and DH is P2. He didn't feel this was arguing, that he was just informing me of something. So then we argued about whether or not it was arguing. He didn't think we were arguing then either, just discussing differing view points. He didn't feel stressed or aggravated by it so he didn't consider it an argument. It ended when I pointed out that it was aggravating me and did he really think it was worth continuing to inform me of something if it was obvious it was aggravating me? He agreed that in this instance it wasn't.

Unfortunately I've been stressed lately, and I know there have been times when I've been too easily aggravated or considered something confrontational when it wasn't. I wasn't sure if this was one of those times so I needed a baseline. I was worried that I was being unreasonable. Thanks to everyone who answered. Sometimes it's really nice to have outside perspective.
Sometimes it is vital to get an outside perspective or you can drive yourself insane trying to figure out if you were being reasonable or not. In this instance, IMO, you had every right to want to be sure. What's that old saying? "Fail to prepare - prepare to fail" or something along those lines.
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Old 08-31-2013, 04:47 PM   #3618
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Quote:
Originally Posted by purple.alien.giraffe View Post
I'm P1 and DH is P2. He didn't feel this was arguing, that he was just informing me of something. So then we argued about whether or not it was arguing. He didn't think we were arguing then either, just discussing differing view points. He didn't feel stressed or aggravated by it so he didn't consider it an argument. It ended when I pointed out that it was aggravating me and did he really think it was worth continuing to inform me of something if it was obvious it was aggravating me? He agreed that in this instance it wasn't.

Unfortunately I've been stressed lately, and I know there have been times when I've been too easily aggravated or considered something confrontational when it wasn't. I wasn't sure if this was one of those times so I needed a baseline. I was worried that I was being unreasonable. Thanks to everyone who answered. Sometimes it's really nice to have outside perspective.
Shrek argues like that, too and has no clue why I am aggravated and remain aggravated. I tend to dwell on things...especially if I am upset.
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Old 08-31-2013, 04:51 PM   #3619
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The name of the actor in a movie is not earth shattering...

But when it comes to work, the job depends on dependability and compulsiveness to do the job right. Worrying about the job, it's better to follow your instincts and double check yourself if that's what is needed.
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Old 08-31-2013, 04:53 PM   #3620
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PrincessFiona60 View Post
The name of the actor in a movie is not earth shattering...

But when it comes to work, the job depends on dependability and compulsiveness to do the job right. Worrying about the job, it's better to follow your instincts and double check yourself if that's what is needed.
This
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