"Discover Cooking, Discuss Life."

Go Back   Discuss Cooking - Cooking Forums > The Back Porch > Off Topic Discussions
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
 
Old 12-24-2013, 03:24 PM   #3721
Chef Extraordinaire
 
Dawgluver's Avatar
Site Moderator
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 24,092
Hang in there, Mac! It's rough having difficult family members, even more so when they're mentally ill. You WILL get through this!
__________________

__________________
She who dies with the most toys, wins.
Dawgluver is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-24-2013, 04:09 PM   #3722
Head Chef
 
tinlizzie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: SW Florida
Posts: 2,003
Quote:
Originally Posted by Macgyver1968 View Post
I really need an encouraging word right now. My sister suffers from Paranoid personality disorder and is on one of tears right now....she thinks mom and I are out to get her, and says hurtful things. I wear my heart on my sleeve...and it's tough. Pardon my french by I really just want to say "Go **** yourself". I'm trying to take the high road...I know we many guests coming tonight that don't have family to have Christmas with...I got to man up and do what I got to do...but it's hard.

/end vent.

As in so many instances, Mac, you can't do anything about/with the other person. But what you can do (and must for your own sanity at times) is control your reaction or response. Yes, there's no denying it's hard.
__________________

__________________
No matter how simple it seems, it's complicated.
tinlizzie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-24-2013, 04:10 PM   #3723
Senior Cook
 
Macgyver1968's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 208
I'm going to do it! I promise...no matter what else she says to me...I owe it to my guests to present them with a happy christmas. I'm going to bake my bread...cook the ham...and pretend to be happy!

Thanks for the moral support! It did a world of good.
__________________
Macgyver1968 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-24-2013, 09:16 PM   #3724
Senior Cook
 
Macgyver1968's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 208
I did what I had to do... I cooked a wonderful meal...set a beautiful table , and didn't once tell my sister how much of a bitch she is....mission successful.

Check out my table...I even folded the napkins all fancy and like:

__________________
Macgyver1968 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-24-2013, 09:30 PM   #3725
Executive Chef
 
bakechef's Avatar
Site Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 4,082
I have a bi-polar sister, she goes untreated. She can be a barrel of laughs one minute and the next in a very dark, confrontational place. Holidays are always tense with her.

I've had to distance myself from her. It's not worth ratcheting up mine and other's anxiety levels. I'm not of the mindset that just because someone is family, that you have to put up with whatever they throw at you, especially when they are toxic. I see no pleasure in celebrating a holiday with a very toxic element.
__________________
I'm Bloggin'

http://bakingbetter.com
bakechef is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-25-2013, 12:48 AM   #3726
Senior Cook
 
Toffiffeezz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Calgary
Posts: 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by Macgyver1968 View Post
I did what I had to do... I cooked a wonderful meal...set a beautiful table , and didn't once tell my sister how much of a bitch she is....mission successful.

Check out my table...I even folded the napkins all fancy and like

Lovely table setup Mac!
__________________
Toffiffeezz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-25-2013, 01:51 AM   #3727
Chef Extraordinaire
 
Addie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: East Boston, MA
Posts: 19,017
Mac, my youngest daughter was bipolar. And she was the mother of five children. She is no longer with us. Every time the phone rang, I wondered what did she do now. Do I have to go pick up the children again? Did she try to kill herself again? Is she forgetting to take her medications again?

The last phone call I got about her was to please come and pick up her kids and identify her body. She had been murdered. So I can understand your frustration. But I have one consolation. I do not have to live with the "if onlies." If only I had ..... Living with someone who has a mental disorder is a difficult thing to go through. You never know what to expect. What surprise is right around the corner. Your sister cannot help the way she is. And it is not how she wants to be. I can't tell you how many times my daughter would ask me, "Ma why do I do these things? I hate myself after when I do them."

Try to be patient with her. It is not easy. But in doing so, you will never have to live with the "if onlies." If you feel like you are at the end of your rope, turn and walk away.

There is a little trick that members of AA practice when they are with someone who needs a drink really bad but do not want to take one. Someone sober will stand next to them and give them a light backrub with one hand while talking to them all the time. It calms the person down. I don't know why it works, but it does. I have seen it time and time again. I learned that trick when my kids were really small. An AA member told me about it more than 50 years ago. I used to use it on my daughter. I used that trick on my daughter when she was about five years old and right up to when she died. It is amazing what a little affection from a loved one will accomplish. And it works great on a small child that is having a temper tantrum and out of control.
__________________
Illegitimi non carborundum!
I don't want my last words to be, "I wish I had spent more time doing housework"
Addie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-25-2013, 02:15 AM   #3728
Proud American
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Asheville
Posts: 2,142
Quote:
Originally Posted by Macgyver1968 View Post
I did what I had to do... I cooked a wonderful meal...set a beautiful table , and didn't once tell my sister how much of a bitch she is....mission successful.

Check out my table...I even folded the napkins all fancy and like:
Mac, your table is lovely! It looks as if it is inviting people to sit down to it.

I'm sorry about your sister. These mental health challenges can be very difficult.
I think you're on a good track as you made your table lovely and didn't fuss at your sister.

I'm thinking of you and your sister.

With love,
~Cat
__________________
CatPat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-25-2013, 11:22 AM   #3729
Chef Extraordinaire
 
CWS4322's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Rural Ottawa, Ontario
Posts: 12,291
Mac, your table was lovely. Mental health issues are no different than any other illness/condition from which a person suffers. Unfortunately, there is still a stigma attached to mental health issues and it is difficult for people to receive the help they need or find a doctor who can help them. I would hope that your sister would be willing to talk to her doctor and try one of the medications available.
__________________
I've got OCD--Obsessive Chicken Disorder!
http://www.discusscooking.com/forums...les-76125.html
CWS4322 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-25-2013, 05:49 PM   #3730
Senior Cook
 
Macgyver1968's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 208
Thanks for all the encouraging words...it really helped. Sometimes you just need to hear it....even if it's from someone you've never met. Thanks for the compliments on my table..I was proud of it...I'd probably be a pretty good gay guy, if I didn't like women so much. :) Mom says someday I'll make some woman a really good wife. :)
__________________

__________________
Macgyver1968 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



» Discuss Cooking on Facebook

Our Communities

Our communities encompass many different hobbies and interests, but each one is built on friendly, intelligent membership.

» More about our Communities

Automotive Communities

Our Automotive communities encompass many different makes and models. From U.S. domestics to European Saloons.

» More about our Automotive Communities

Marine Communities

Our Marine websites focus on Cruising and Sailing Vessels, including forums and the largest cruising Wiki project on the web today.

» More about our Marine Communities


Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:08 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 4
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.