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Old 06-17-2015, 12:39 PM   #4261
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There are more than enough unwanted children in the world. People who do not want to have them should not have them just to please someone else, parents, friends, etc. If everyone was supposed to have children they wouldn't have invented birth control.
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Old 06-17-2015, 02:15 PM   #4262
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There are more than enough unwanted children in the world. People who do not want to have them should not have them just to please someone else, parents, friends, etc. If everyone was supposed to have children they wouldn't have invented birth control.
Carol, prior to the invention of the birth control pill, you could go to prison for even saying the words "birth control." And that included your doctor. You could be fitted for a diaphragm for the sole purpose of preventing the spreading of STD. Condoms were purchased for the same purpose. It didn't matter if the mother's health was in jeopardy if she continued to give birth.

And to some degree, this law served a useful purpose. Male offspring were needed on the farm to help in the fields and barn. Female children were needed in the kitchen to help put up the canned harvest and to feed the field hands.

Then came drought, and an influx of immigrants. Farm families saw the money that could be made in a factory. They saw that males made more income than the women. So they sent their sons off to the city to earn money to send home. Before you knew it, the whole family moved to the city and abandoned the farm. Every member of the family went to work in the factories.

Depending of what country the immigrant came from, determined their skill in building our cities. Boston is a city of red brick. That is when most of the Italians came and built this city. We still have red brick sidewalks that were built in the late and early 1700-1800's. The women went to work in factories that required highly skilled hand-sewing hands. Try to walk on the red brick sidewalks today when it is raining, and it can be very dangerous. They bricks are worn down to smooth and very slippery. But they are very much a part of our history. The same goes for NY, Baltimore and most large coastal cities. They have kept their heritage alive through the skills of the new arrivals. They don't tear down the old red brick buildings, they gut them and put them to a new purpose with smaller rooms. Less room for those large families.

Families from the Baltic states are the farmers of yesterday. That's why you find large German populations in Texas. (Who knew?) And along the eastern seaboard. Think Amish. Countries like Greece and others that relied on the seas for their living, bring us our seafood today. Think Scandinavian countries. Each country brought their own specialized skills. And they passed them down to their kids. Yeah, I think it is not selfish to expect your children to look after you when you are aged. If the parents have done their job right, then it will be a given for them.

I had my family at the end of when having a large family was the norm. Five children, four left. Today, two children are the norm. Three of them drive me crazy. Every single day, (without missing even one) one of them shows up to check up on me. But I keep my mouth shut. The day will come when I will need one of them to show up and check up on me. And they are only doing what I taught them from day one. Family! Always family! Family comes first. It is why animals in the wild will die trying to protect the family of little cubs in the den. And in turn, those cubs grow up and learn how to hunt for the family.

Just a footnote. My kids know that just a phone call does not do. "Ma, how are you doing today?" "Fine, I feel fine." The next thing you know they are getting a phone call from the hospital. Your mother has just had a heart attack.

Okay I am off my soapbox.

And one for all those families that look after each other. The day will come when you will need each other.
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Old 06-18-2015, 08:57 AM   #4263
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My grandparents had 11 children in a 2 bedroom house. As soon as they were old enough to go out and work they had to quit school and go to work. Unfortunately, they only had 2 boys and they joined the service as soon as they were old enough. The girls took off as soon as boys started to notice them, but came back long enough to drop off the babies for their mother to raise, then off they went with another man. That was no way for any of them to live.

Addie, you are very blessed that your children look after you.
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Old 06-18-2015, 04:06 PM   #4264
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Ok. Venting. About two different things.

First. The stove situation. So, two years ago my in-laws bought a new gas range. Their 'old' range was four years old and a beautiful 30", double oven KitchenAid. They asked my husband if we would like it. He, without saying anything to me, told them no, ours worked fine. Says the man who only knows how to cook eggs and homefries.

Well, our range wasn't fine. One of the big burners didn't work, and still doesn't. And, it's only a 24" single oven. I mean, upgrade! But by the time I heard about it, they had already given it to someone else.

Fast forward last week. Suddenly, my other big burner stops lighting. And now today, the oven. This range is an incredibly old Danby. My husband said he was going to look at it this weekend to see if he just has to switch the ignitor.

At any rate, the whole situation makes me mad, because I could have had an absoloutely beautiful range if my husband had only said something to me before he told his parents we didn't need it. And now we've got a range that I'm pretty sure will die any moment now, and since I'm going back to school and only have a single income coming in, I'll be stuck with some cruddy electric range, because that's all we'll be able to afford. So I'm grumpy about that.

And to the other thing. It's about a friend. She has been a close friend for the last three years and a dinner party staple at my house. But for the last four months, she has only responded to about 30% of my calls or texts. Even texts that ask if she wants to go out for drinks or dinner, or come over for dinner, etc.

Last week she posted on facebook about how some kid broke her van windows with his skateboard. He was apprehended. Today, she posted that she was selling the van as is. Now, my mother's van is done, so I was interested. Seriously, I asked, "with or without windows?" A few minutes after I ask that in the comments section of her Facebook post, she texts me saying that she didn't want the public to know about the windows. Being Canadian I apologized, and responded that she had posted it on facebook so I had no idea it was supposed to be a secret. In my mind facebook=public. Apparently it had been a private post only sent to certain friends? Well, how the heck was I supposed to know that? And why is she trying to make me feel bad because I'm not a mind reader? Ugh. Not to mention it's a little underhanded to sell a car and not disclose its history (insurance paid for the windows).

And I've got a head ache.

/end rant
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Old 06-18-2015, 04:17 PM   #4265
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Nickee, your reply was no more public than her post. That's how it works on FB. Once someone sets the privacy level for the post, all the replies are at the same privacy level.
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Old 06-18-2015, 04:19 PM   #4266
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Yes. But the "I'm selling my van" post was public. And I responded to that asking about the windows. I don't know about anyone else, but I don't look to see who people are posting things to. Facebook is public, no matter how you control it.
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Old 06-18-2015, 04:47 PM   #4267
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NickeeCoco View Post
Yes. But the "I'm selling my van" post was public. And I responded to that asking about the windows. I don't know about anyone else, but I don't look to see who people are posting things to. Facebook is public, no matter how you control it.
Oh, I see. Well, she can delete your reply. I often check to see if a post is friends only or public. Some of my opinions on politics, religion, etc. are not something I want publicly connected to my, very unique, name.
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Old 06-18-2015, 05:17 PM   #4268
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Oh, I see. Well, she can delete your reply. I often check to see if a post is friends only or public. Some of my opinions on politics, religion, etc. are not something I want publicly connected to my, very unique, name.
See, I just avoid all of that on Facebook. Personally, I don't think its the proper platform for that sort of thing. I think that's where the problem stems from. I'm coming from a "anything on the internet is public domain" stand point, whereas she, like you, thinks privacy settings make things ok. And that's something that is big in the HR and business world right now. Parameters have not been set and they're still being hammered out, which is why I stay on the safe side.
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Old 06-18-2015, 05:24 PM   #4269
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...

Has all this happened to me? No. Only because I made it clear that I don't babysit for free and am not available at a drop of a hat. I only babysit in the event of a medical emergency. If I can raise five kids alone, then two parents can raise one child together.
Wow, you are tough.
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Old 06-18-2015, 05:46 PM   #4270
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Originally Posted by NickeeCoco View Post
See, I just avoid all of that on Facebook. Personally, I don't think its the proper platform for that sort of thing. I think that's where the problem stems from. I'm coming from a "anything on the internet is public domain" stand point, whereas she, like you, thinks privacy settings make things ok. And that's something that is big in the HR and business world right now. Parameters have not been set and they're still being hammered out, which is why I stay on the safe side.
What parameters do you mean.

BTW, I'm under no illusion that stuff I post or reply to on FB is completely private. It's just a lot harder to access or find, when it's "friends only", if you aren't one of those "friends".
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