Thanks Addie. What's the story on the money and New Years Eve?
Petty Vents
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If you have answers, please help by responding to the unanswered posts.
If you have answers, please help by responding to the unanswered posts.
Addie
Chef Extraordinaire
It is an old wives tale.
You put money outside your home on New Years Eve. In the mailbox, under the door mat, etc. Anywhere. Then the next day you bring the money in. But the trick it the money has to enter the house first before you. It has to be the first thing that comes into your home Jan. 1st. So open the door, toss the money in and then you can follow it. According to the tale, you will receive a large sum of money in the coming year. It can be any amount.
My Georgia girlfriend every year has extra money come in. Even if it is at the casino where she goes once a year for a vacation. Or she makes a big sale in her business. She swears by this tale. Good luck!
Addie
Chef Extraordinaire
My laughter was at the library remark.
I can understand your frustration. It is kind of like the "No child left behind". Great idea, but the Legislature failed to vote any money for the program. School systems struggled to follow the program. This time they failed to make sure everything was in place and working. And they are still screwing up. They failed to adjust the dates to give them time to make sure the system was in working order.
Macgyver1968
Senior Cook
I really need an encouraging word right now. My sister suffers from Paranoid personality disorder and is on one of tears right now....she thinks mom and I are out to get her, and says hurtful things. I wear my heart on my sleeve...and it's tough. Pardon my french by I really just want to say "Go **** yourself". I'm trying to take the high road...I know we many guests coming tonight that don't have family to have Christmas with...I got to man up and do what I got to do...but it's hard.
/end vent.
/end vent.
(((Hugs))) Keep remembering that it's the disorder talking. Try not to take it personally. I'm sure you will be able to "man up" and handle the get together well.
Macgyver1968
Senior Cook
Thanks Taxlady...that means more than you know.
Andy M.
Certified Pretend Chef
Mac, because you know her situation, you'll handle it properly. You can find a harmless way to let of steam after it's over. Maybe go wrestle a bear into submission. 
Macgyver1968
Senior Cook
Thanks Andy...although I think it will be safer to just have a few drinks.
GotGarlic
Chef Extraordinaire
+1. It's a chemical imbalance that affects the brain, just as a physical illness affects the body. I know it's challenging to deal with her, but you can do it
Macgyver1968
Senior Cook
If ya'll don't hear from me for a few decades...it's because I"m in jail for cold blooded murder. She just tore into me for vacuuming.
Dawgluver
Chef Extraordinaire
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Hang in there, Mac! It's rough having difficult family members, even more so when they're mentally ill. You WILL get through this!
tinlizzie
Head Chef
As in so many instances, Mac, you can't do anything about/with the other person. But what you can do (and must for your own sanity at times) is control your reaction or response. Yes, there's no denying it's hard.
Macgyver1968
Senior Cook
I'm going to do it! I promise...no matter what else she says to me...I owe it to my guests to present them with a happy christmas. I'm going to bake my bread...cook the ham...and pretend to be happy!
Thanks for the moral support! It did a world of good.
Thanks for the moral support! It did a world of good.
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Macgyver1968
Senior Cook
I did what I had to do... I cooked a wonderful meal...set a beautiful table , and didn't once tell my sister how much of a bitch she is....mission successful.
Check out my table...I even folded the napkins all fancy and like:
Check out my table...I even folded the napkins all fancy and like:
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bakechef
Executive Chef
I have a bi-polar sister, she goes untreated. She can be a barrel of laughs one minute and the next in a very dark, confrontational place. Holidays are always tense with her.
I've had to distance myself from her. It's not worth ratcheting up mine and other's anxiety levels. I'm not of the mindset that just because someone is family, that you have to put up with whatever they throw at you, especially when they are toxic. I see no pleasure in celebrating a holiday with a very toxic element.
I've had to distance myself from her. It's not worth ratcheting up mine and other's anxiety levels. I'm not of the mindset that just because someone is family, that you have to put up with whatever they throw at you, especially when they are toxic. I see no pleasure in celebrating a holiday with a very toxic element.
Toffiffeezz
Senior Cook
Addie
Chef Extraordinaire
Mac, my youngest daughter was bipolar. And she was the mother of five children. She is no longer with us. Every time the phone rang, I wondered what did she do now. Do I have to go pick up the children again? Did she try to kill herself again? Is she forgetting to take her medications again?
The last phone call I got about her was to please come and pick up her kids and identify her body. She had been murdered. So I can understand your frustration. But I have one consolation. I do not have to live with the "if onlies." If only I had ..... Living with someone who has a mental disorder is a difficult thing to go through. You never know what to expect. What surprise is right around the corner. Your sister cannot help the way she is. And it is not how she wants to be. I can't tell you how many times my daughter would ask me, "Ma why do I do these things? I hate myself after when I do them."
Try to be patient with her. It is not easy. But in doing so, you will never have to live with the "if onlies." If you feel like you are at the end of your rope, turn and walk away.
There is a little trick that members of AA practice when they are with someone who needs a drink really bad but do not want to take one. Someone sober will stand next to them and give them a light backrub with one hand while talking to them all the time. It calms the person down. I don't know why it works, but it does. I have seen it time and time again. I learned that trick when my kids were really small. An AA member told me about it more than 50 years ago. I used to use it on my daughter. I used that trick on my daughter when she was about five years old and right up to when she died. It is amazing what a little affection from a loved one will accomplish. And it works great on a small child that is having a temper tantrum and out of control.
The last phone call I got about her was to please come and pick up her kids and identify her body. She had been murdered. So I can understand your frustration. But I have one consolation. I do not have to live with the "if onlies." If only I had ..... Living with someone who has a mental disorder is a difficult thing to go through. You never know what to expect. What surprise is right around the corner. Your sister cannot help the way she is. And it is not how she wants to be. I can't tell you how many times my daughter would ask me, "Ma why do I do these things? I hate myself after when I do them."
Try to be patient with her. It is not easy. But in doing so, you will never have to live with the "if onlies." If you feel like you are at the end of your rope, turn and walk away.
There is a little trick that members of AA practice when they are with someone who needs a drink really bad but do not want to take one. Someone sober will stand next to them and give them a light backrub with one hand while talking to them all the time. It calms the person down. I don't know why it works, but it does. I have seen it time and time again. I learned that trick when my kids were really small. An AA member told me about it more than 50 years ago. I used to use it on my daughter. I used that trick on my daughter when she was about five years old and right up to when she died. It is amazing what a little affection from a loved one will accomplish. And it works great on a small child that is having a temper tantrum and out of control.
I did what I had to do... I cooked a wonderful meal...set a beautiful table , and didn't once tell my sister how much of a bitch she is....mission successful.
Check out my table...I even folded the napkins all fancy and like:
Mac, your table is lovely! It looks as if it is inviting people to sit down to it.
I'm sorry about your sister. These mental health challenges can be very difficult.
I think you're on a good track as you made your table lovely and didn't fuss at your sister.
I'm thinking of you and your sister.
With love,
~Cat
CWS4322
Chef Extraordinaire
Mac, your table was lovely. Mental health issues are no different than any other illness/condition from which a person suffers. Unfortunately, there is still a stigma attached to mental health issues and it is difficult for people to receive the help they need or find a doctor who can help them. I would hope that your sister would be willing to talk to her doctor and try one of the medications available.
Macgyver1968
Senior Cook
Thanks for all the encouraging words...it really helped. Sometimes you just need to hear it....even if it's from someone you've never met. Thanks for the compliments on my table..I was proud of it...I'd probably be a pretty good gay guy, if I didn't like women so much. Mom says someday I'll make some woman a really good wife.
Mom says someday I'll make some woman a really good wife. 
