Wedding costs

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DW and I got married at the courthouse. Her mom made a cake for us, one of her friends showed up as a witness, and her dad spent the entire time glaring at me.
Fun!
 
All I can say weddings are crazy. Even if one doesn't try to make something crazy it is still is.
 
DW and I got married at the courthouse. Her mom made a cake for us, one of her friends showed up as a witness, and her dad spent the entire time glaring at me.
Fun!


This reminds me, neither of us told either of our families we were getting married.
 
I grew up poor. My family didn't have the money to go all-out for an expensive weddings. Don't know what my oldest sister paid for hers in 1977. She borrowed a cousin's dress. Made her maid-of-honor & bridesmaid dresses and my mom made my younger sister & my dresses (gift carriers). The gifts were opened by the ladies who cared for the gifts. The wedding was in the afternoon and the reception was held in the church annex. It was a simple reception with the usual cake, punch, coffee, & tea.

My younger sister's first wedding in 1990 was also simple. Hers was in the same church with a cake/punch-type reception in the church annex. She borrowed my sil's dress which had to be shipped from Germany where my older brother was stationed in the Air Force...wife is German/Italian with family over there. The maid-of-honor dress was one of my sister's prom dresses which was made by my oldest sister about two or three years before. The tuxes were rented. Her second wedding was held in a church that she wasn't even a member of but the minister had counseled her & her husband though. The wedding was held in the church basement. This time though, she had a meat/cheese tray for sandwiches, chips, & salads along with the cake & punch. Her 2 step-daughters were her maid-of-honor & bridesmaid and her son & her step-sons were the best man & groomsmen. She bought the dresses for the girls and rented the tuxes for the guys. Her wedding dress was store-bought suit with a long skirt. She wears it for other occasions. The cake for both of her weddings was made by our oldest sister who was a cake decorator. My younger sister bought the cake mixes & ingredients for the cakes. She had help in making all of the bouquets & groomsmens' flowers. The first wedding's rehearsal meal was at a restaurant and paid for by the groom's family. The second wedding rehearsal meal was potluck at our mom & dad's...simple foods.

I have no idea how my 3 brothers (2 older & 1 younger) paid for their weddings. I was a part of my oldest brother's & younger brother's weddings...other older brother was married in Germany. All I had to do was wear a dress and to both of those weddings and show up.

My older sister isn't married and I share a house with her & our 3 small dogs. Don't know what her plans are for her future.

I plan to get married one of these days and I'm almost 42 yrs. old. Thought I had somebody but things didn't work out with him. I've been gradually planning my own wedding. I thought that since I currently don't have the money to spend on a wedding, I can do one cheap but nice though. I'm a crafter and I've been gathering things together to make my own stuff. I know what I like and what I want. I just gotta gradually start making my stuff. My mom sews and will help me out. Don't get along with my oldest sister and so, she won't have anything to do with my wedding. I believe in a simple wedding with a simple reception...nothing fancy. It would make a little difference if my future husband had some money but I'd still believe in a simple wedding with a meat/cheese tray & finger foods along with the cake & punch. IF I'm allowed...I'd like my dogs to be a part of my own wedding. LOL My dogs are my kids and will live wherever I live.

I've gone to many weddings where there are dances. I've seen many people leave the tables around the dance area to keep from being dragged out onto the dance floor. The last one I went to, the DJ announced some sort of a dance thing and for people to get out on the floor. A big group of people quickly left the room to go into another room or outside. Also, there's so much drinking going on. I could care less about the alcohol since I don't drink. The last wedding I went to, it was for my cousin's daughter. I found out at the family reunion the next day that when the father-of-the-bride was paying for the food & beer at the end of the night, he got a big surprise. The total was a LOT bigger than what he had planned to pay. He FORGOT to tell the bartender that his limit was 1 keg and anything after that, the bridal party & guests would have to pay for. He ended up paying for 7 kegs. LOL Served him right since he loves to drink. The bridal party & guests had to pay for their own drinks at the bar.

I'd like to know why do people seem to think they've gotta have such expensive weddings? Why can't people have simple weddings? It's like they've gotta out-do their friends or whomever. You can have a nice wedding without going in debt or, too far in debt.

Darlene
 
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I am really not sure how to take that statement. Just because someone wants to spend $ on a wedding, it does not have to be a negative.

We spent a lot of money on ours because there were certain things we wanted and we were happy to pay for those things. We wanted to throw a party that our friends and family would enjoy. We wanted to make one of the most special days in our life truly special and memorable. We did not spend money we did not have, but we sure as heck spent a lot. It seems that there seems to be a very negative connotation being placed on that and I really do not understand it. If someone wants to have a wedding for $50 then that is absolutely great and nothing wrong with it at all. Why can the same not be true for someone that wants to spend 50K or 60K or 100K on their wedding???

GB, I wasn't (and I don't think the others commenting here were) referring to people who have the money to spend. There are, sadly, folks who take out additional mortgages on their homes to pay for a fancy wedding for their child(ren). But the "Cinderella Syndrome" refers to young women (and some not so young) who view their wedding as a show of sorts -- whether consciously or not. and feel this show is essential to getting married. In other words, it's not about the marriage as much as it is about the wedding. A case of misplaced emphasis...

Gee, I hope I haven't made myself completely misunderstood here! :ohmy:
 
Thanks ChefJune. My comment was not so much directed at you although I did not know what the Cinderella Syndrome was so that is why I quoted you. My comment was aimed at one other person who made a pretty nasty comment and it did not seem to have anything to do with who could or could not afford to spend the money.
 
I'm getting married April 5th. The total wedding cost is just under $9,000. We're having about 50 people, catered food, cake, a DJ, and the reception is at a beautiful manor house. Our photographer is amazing - one of the best in VA. He was featured in The Knot, but his pricing is definitely reasonable.

My finacee and I made the invitations on our own. MUCH cheaper and it was easier than I thought. We have on-line RSVP, so no need for that added cost.
 
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