"Discover Cooking, Discuss Life."

Go Back   Discuss Cooking - Cooking Forums > The Back Porch > Off Topic Discussions
Click Here to Login
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
 
Old 02-29-2008, 12:20 PM   #1
Senior Cook
 
TanyaK's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Cape Town,South Africa
Posts: 319
Wedding costs

I've gotten hooked on "Who's Wedding is it anyway?" on the True Style Network - don't know if anyone watches it. Seems according to the show (and I know it's a TV show so take it with a pinch of salt :-)) the average wedding is anything from $30 000 (considered to be a small budget) to
$80 000+ Does the average person really spend that much money on a wedding or do they just choose people with big budgets ? Or maybe it just seems a lot to me as I convert it to South African currency which isn't really worth a lot

__________________

TanyaK is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-29-2008, 12:37 PM   #2
Hospitality Queen
 
jkath's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Southern California
Posts: 11,448
lol, Tanya.

I've seen so many couples that live paycheck to paycheck, but the bride seems to think she needs a 50k wedding. What is that all about? I've never understood it.
Or, the gal on "Deal or no deal" who'd already been married once, who was playing the gameshow to win the million dollars for her "dream princess wedding". Um, I'll take the cash, Howie....

For the record - our wedding was a whopping $99 elopement. And we're still together after 17 years.
__________________

__________________
Come visit my foodie blog: www.SockmonkeysKitchen.com
This week's topic: Pinterest and Potatoes
jkath is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-29-2008, 12:55 PM   #3
Sous Chef
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Utah
Posts: 581
Mine was about $150 a couple years ago in Vegas. No way I would want all that fancy stuff, everyone forgets about it after a month anyway.
NAchef is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-29-2008, 03:01 PM   #4
Head Chef
 
auntdot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,418
If there is anything that has increased at a rate greater than inflation it is the cost of a wedding.

I gotta couch that because we have been to many weddings that were very modest, and quite classy, that cost very little. The class was in the people, not the cost of the flowers or dinner.

When my sil got married, she held the wedding and reception in her home. It was catered, but nothing extravagant. It was lovely.

If folks want to toss an extravaganza and can afford to pay for it, I have no problems with it.

I feel sorry for the families who go into great debt for one day for reasons I do not understand.

Our thirtieth is coming up soon. How we got married I doubt made any difference in how we are today.

We were far away from family and with almost no money for a few years. We learned to handle whatever came out way and became a unit, himness and herness.

We are still that today.

I think that folks who feel forced to pay money they truly cannot afford for a wedding should not do so.

It is understanding, love, caring, and shared experience, no matter how hard, that make an enduring marriage.

It ain't the walk down the aisle.

Just my two cents.
__________________
Before criticizing a person, walk a mile in his shoes - then you are a mile away and you have his shoes!
auntdot is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-29-2008, 04:02 PM   #5
Master Chef
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Metro New York
Posts: 8,763
Send a message via Yahoo to ChefJune
Beautifully put, Aunt Dot. When I was catering, I often watched sadly as families took out loans and scrimped to put on a "really big shew" (as Ed Sullivan used to say). There's far too much emphasis on the ceremony, so much so that I think many couples lose their focus on the marriage.

There is not one woman in the world who NEEDS a TEN THOUSAND dollar dress to wear ONE time. Just think of all the hungry children that could feed? (and yet that is a common price for wedding dresses in 2008 America). Scandalous, I think.
__________________
Wine is the food that completes the meal.
ChefJune is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-29-2008, 04:07 PM   #6
Chef Extraordinaire
 
pdswife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Mazatlan
Posts: 20,334
Send a message via AIM to pdswife Send a message via MSN to pdswife Send a message via Yahoo to pdswife
In our case it was a big wedding or a new beautiful house.

I love our house. I think we paid 75 dollars for a judge to marry us.
__________________
Love the life you live!
pdswife is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-29-2008, 04:18 PM   #7
Master Chef
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 5,296
$300.... I don't see the point in spending all that money on something that could practically be null and void several years from now if not months. Seems anyone I knew that spent a fortune on their wedding ended up divorced a short time later. I say save the money and spend it on your new home or something that your really gonna need.

My dress cost me less than $50... got it at Ross. Wedding bands were about $75 a piece. J of P... can't remember, but it was next to nothing. I figure a 60K ring is not going to garuntee that my marriage will last. But, I guess it would be a nice parting gift eh???
sattie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-29-2008, 05:51 PM   #8
Assistant Cook
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Cornwall, UK
Posts: 26
I agree. If the main reason you are getting married is for the big wedding, dont get married. Its stupid to get yourself in financial trouble for one day!
designmea is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-29-2008, 06:25 PM   #9
Master Chef
 
expatgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Texas girl living in Kazakhstan
Posts: 5,568
I totally agree with all of you so far! My brother -in- law's first wife's family refinanced their home to thrown one wing-ding of a wedding for her---it was beautiful and it was lavish right down to the champagne flowing out of a fountain and Jeannette was gorgeous. Mine in comparison was a cheap economy fare..I knew that my parents couldn't afford much and luckily I was marrying into a frugal family as well, so no one minded the plastic eating utensils at the reception. But my brother-in-law's marriage was over within a year--actually 6 months and they limped along for about a year and a half. All I could think of was what a waste of $$$$.
__________________
The only difference between a "cook" and a "Chef" is who cleans up the kitchen.
expatgirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-29-2008, 06:38 PM   #10
Hospitality Queen
 
jkath's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Southern California
Posts: 11,448
I think one of the best ideas for a frugal, small wedding was one I attended almost 20 years ago. The bride and groom asked that instead of wedding gifts, if guests would bring potluck food, paper plates, beverages, etc. (and help with the clean up!) My gift was doing the bride's hair. :) They're still married, now with 7 kids.
__________________
Come visit my foodie blog: www.SockmonkeysKitchen.com
This week's topic: Pinterest and Potatoes
jkath is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-29-2008, 06:39 PM   #11
Chief Eating Officer
 
GB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: USA,Massachusetts
Posts: 25,509
An obscene amount of money was spent on our wedding, but I am not sorry that we went that route. We have been married 5 years now and people still constantly comment on our wedding.

We had a band that cost a ton of dough and they blew everyone away and made the reception one that our friends and family just had so much fun at.

We got a photographer and videographer who captured the moments in a very artistic way.

We had an open bar so our guests did not have to spend any more money than they already had on gifts, hotel, clothes, travel, etc.

We picked a place in which the chef was someone who takes food very seriously. At the tasting it felt like we were eating at the White House or something because they brought us so many interesting and delicious dishes.

A lot of people usually say they do not remember their wedding. That is went by in a flash. That is not the case with my wife and me. We completely remember it and loved every second of it. Our guests remember it as well. So many times when we see someone we have not seen in a while they will mention specific things from the wedding.
__________________
You know you can't resist clicking
this link. Your eyes will thank you. VISUAL BLISS
GB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-29-2008, 06:39 PM   #12
Executive Chef
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: San Antonio, Texas
Posts: 3,619
I can't really relate to the idea of a big, expensive wedding either. Catered, sit-down receptions, gowns that cost thousands, live doves, etc. It seems to me that all that kind of takes away from the couple who are starting their lives together.

I had a very small and inexpensive wedding but it was fun. If I had it to do again, I'd probably get married on the beach. No diamond ring - just a plain gold band. Now that I could afford a diamond, it's still not anything I want to spend lots of money on.

None of my kids have gotten married yet but when they do, my money will be going to help them buy a house. That said, if a couple has money and they really want to spend it on a huge shindig, it's OK by me. I just hate to see parents going into debt for huge weddings that are over in a few hours but they are paying on for years.

As a side note, a young couple we knew wanted to get married but had almost no money. We helped them plan and pull off a charming little wedding. I made her wedding gown and I can't tell you how much I enjoyed that. I hope someday my daughters or daughters-in-law will allow me that pleasure again.
Fisher's Mom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-29-2008, 06:48 PM   #13
Master Chef
 
expatgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Texas girl living in Kazakhstan
Posts: 5,568
My son and his wife had a very nice wedding for very little. Her grandmother made her a beautiful dress and we paid for the the flowers (probably one of the most expensive items of a wedding) and the tuxes, but family and friends fixed up the reception hall and cleaned up afterwards. Though I would gladly have paid the $50 for the janitors to have cleaned up if I had known about it. They are still very much married 5 years later. Her mother just recently put together a beautifully designed scrapbook for me detailing their dating, marriage, and our funny, little 5 year old granddaughter.
__________________
The only difference between a "cook" and a "Chef" is who cleans up the kitchen.
expatgirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-29-2008, 07:05 PM   #14
Sous Chef
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Missouri
Posts: 588
I agree that weddings have become rediculously expensive.. I have 4 older brothers, and i'm the only girl, so I think that was mostly why they paid as much as they did.

By far, the most expensive part of our wedding was the photographer. I had the option of having my DH's aunt take the pictures, but to me, the pictures were VERY important. I wanted to have nice pictures that I could look back on throughout my life, and show my children and grandchildren... I know to alot of people, a picture is a picture, but I don't know.. it was just important to me. I can't remember exactly how much it was, including the photo album and all... but I know it was a little over $2,000..

Aside from that, I had our wedding cake done at a local grocery store that did an AmAzInG job! I think I might've paid a little over $100, and it looked like it should've been $1,000. I also got my bouqet done at this grocery store. I can't remember at all what I paid for it, but I know it wasn't much, and was absolutely beautiful..

I got my dress at Davids Bridal and paid around $800 for it. My dress was the only other thing I really cared about, besides the pictures. If I could go back, I would've gone even cheaper (with everything) because alot of it, I know now, was unnecessary.

My biggest regret was how much I paid for the invitations... Why on earth did I think I needed such fancy shmancy invites, with fancy ink, and R.S.V.P. cards, and return envilopes.. and who knows what else... I also got them done at Hallmark which I later found out was my first mistake.... But.... They sure were perty!.... I also got napkins with our names on them, champagne glasses with our names, fancy knives for the cake.... I really think you get caught up in it all, and start thinking you *need* these things.. They're all sitting in boxes now.. Just kinda silly.

My husbands ring was just a couple hundred dollars, but it was very important to him that I had a nice ring.. He made really good money when he was single, and he knew that it would probably be a while until he could afford something like that again. (He even sold his street bike that he loved so much to help buy it! ) He won't tell me exactly how much it was, I know he got a bit of a deal on it because he was friends with the guy who worked there.. I absolutely love it, and it means alot to me that he gave up his bike and everything, but... I mean... Any ring would've been special to me... (Just don't tell him that!!)

Anyways, that's just an overview of our wedding. Might've been more than anyone cared to know!

I definetly would've gone cheaper if I could go back..



DietitianInTraining is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-29-2008, 07:09 PM   #15
Chef Extraordinaire
 
suziquzie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: MN
Posts: 11,488
Send a message via AIM to suziquzie
Weddings irritate me. I didn't get married for 7 years and 2 kids, just because I don't see spending that much money to impress everyone, while at the same time all those people will only pick out the flaws in you and your wedding.
We went to the JP with only immediate family, had a big BBQ in our new house and huge yard when we could afford it. I cooked most of it, with MIL's help.... 6 months pregnant. (Me, not MIL!)
1 day of being queen costing thousands is stupid if you know you will be treated like a queen every day for the rest of your life.... for free!!!!
Plus there's my "I hate people watching me" issue.......
__________________
Not that there's anything wrong with that.....
suziquzie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-29-2008, 07:14 PM   #16
Senior Cook
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Colombia, South America
Posts: 153
I have wonderful remembrances from my wedding. The reception was in the house of a friend, and for the closest friends (both my DH and my families were in countries continents away). A nice dinner prepared for her, I bought the cake, a friend that loves photography gave us the photo album as a wedding gift, and everybody had a nice time. Our wedding lasted 26 years, all very happy.....
2belucile is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-29-2008, 07:18 PM   #17
Sous Chef
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Missouri
Posts: 588
We did a "pot-luck" for our reception as well.
DietitianInTraining is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-29-2008, 07:23 PM   #18
Hospitality Queen
 
jkath's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Southern California
Posts: 11,448
Quote:
Originally Posted by beginner_chef View Post
I wanted to have nice pictures that I could look back on throughout my life, and show my children and grandchildren.
That's my only regret - we don't have a photo! That's something I really would have paid much more for. (If only I'd known GB - they would've been marvelous!)
__________________
Come visit my foodie blog: www.SockmonkeysKitchen.com
This week's topic: Pinterest and Potatoes
jkath is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-29-2008, 07:42 PM   #19
Chief Eating Officer
 
GB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: USA,Massachusetts
Posts: 25,509
I would have even taken them for free jkath

One of the best wedding gifts we got was from one of my best friends. During the entire day she walked around with a polaroid camera. At the time I thought it was very weird. Who still uses a polaroid? At the end of the night when the band had played the last song, she sat at a table and was busy doing "something". I walked over to her, but was told I had to get away from her table now.

As we were walking out of the hall she pulled DW and I aside and handed us her gift. It was a photo album that she had put together with all those polaroids. We left for our honeymoon a few hours later and I wife spent the plane ride staring at those pictures. Then when we got to our hotel room she kept flipping through them. It was so nice to have something like that immediately after the event. It was the most thoughtful gift we could have imagined.
__________________
You know you can't resist clicking
this link. Your eyes will thank you. VISUAL BLISS
GB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-29-2008, 08:01 PM   #20
Head Chef
 
Toots's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Austin TX
Posts: 1,580
Has anyone seen "My Redneck Wedding" on CMT? I was clicking around one day and I came across it. I howled with laughter and Tom Arnold is the host.
I had a huge, expensive and beautiful wedding when I got married the first time (and yes, I felt like a princess). When I got married to Mr Toots, we did it in our living room with a JP and a few friends, spent less than $200. When I married Mr. Toots I didnt care about the wedding, I just wanted to make it legal with the person who I'll be with forever.
__________________

Toots is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off





Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:28 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 4
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.