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Old 06-21-2013, 06:16 PM   #1
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Wedding Gifts

Bridal Gift-Basket Sparks Epic Text Battle: Is Wedding Etiquette Dead?
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I just read this article and I must say I am horrified at the expectations and attitudes of these people. And apparently they are not the only ones according to my very quick research.

When did greed become the norm?

It used to be that a gift was given to the newly married couple to help them on their way.

It was not expected to be of a certain value, if you could not afford to give a physical gift it was not unheard of to give the gift of your time.

Brides and grooms were thankful and invited people to witness their wedding, not for the money.

What happened???
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Old 06-21-2013, 06:28 PM   #2
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WOW! That's amazing. The wedding couple were rude, inconsiderate jerks. Making a public debate of it gives it a Jerry Springer-like quality. So neither party is clean here. If they expected cash gifts that more than covered the cost of the meals, maybe they should have registered at a bank.

I also don't think this is a difference of opinion based on age. Theoretically, you are invited to a wedding to share the couple's joy, not to provide cash. If you receive an invitation and choose not to attend you're still obligated to send a gift. In that case, does the value of the gift just have to cover the cost of postage?
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Old 06-21-2013, 07:09 PM   #3
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These stories are legion in the wedding biz. I've heard a lot of them since my son got engaged. The couple needs to plan the wedding they can afford and not expect their "guests" to pay for it. If that happens, they are no longer guests and become the audience and the wedding is a performance. I'm thankful that my son and his fiancee are doing a good job about not expecting folks to pay for stuff. They registered at BB&B and Target (both reasonably priced) and that's it. None of this registering for house down payment or honeymoon fund. We aren't even doing a money tree or bridal dance fees at the reception. I think it has gotten so out-of-control with the wedding industry thanks to folks like Trump and the Khardashians and all the Hollywood glitz. The average person cannot do that but somehow the kids all think they can have that and everyone should put out to make the day "special".
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Old 06-21-2013, 08:34 PM   #4
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The current wedding attitude simply escapes me.

Weddings should be the gathering of family and friends sharing in a joyous moment with the wedding couple. It's not a ticket to a entertainment event.

Glenn and I have said many times, after hearing of an over-the-top wedding, that we hoped the couple stays married long enough to pay for the wedding.

When Buck and I got married eons ago, we planned for a year and a half and saved for the wedding during that time. When it was all said and done, we had a blast, our guests had a ball and even 10 or more years later many of those who attended still commented about the event with great memories.

When Glenn and I were married, we did a similar thing but with far fewer attendees.

Both of the weddings were so much fun and we never expected any gifts or money, even though we did receive both. We were so grateful and, you can bet your bunny shoes, our thank you notes went out promptly. Although, our best gifts were those who took their time to share in our special moment.

Sadly, what I have seen for far too many years in far too many regions are young people expecting to be given things and walking around with an air of entitlement.

'Kay...now I'll get off my soapbox.
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Old 06-22-2013, 12:34 AM   #5
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I had a wedding with my first hubby. I planned it all. I made everything myself, the flowers, the center pieces, the invites, most of the food. It wasn't your typical type of wedding at all. My dress was a mail ordered one from Frederick's of Hollywood & it was a very nice dress. that was the most expensive single item I had. It cost me a whole 120.00 with the shipping & handling.

We had a grill with hamburgers & hot dogs with picnic type sides. Some people brought food with them, it was almost a pot luck type of day.

My sister made the cake & I made the roses for the cake & froze them so she could throw on the icing & use the decorations I made to finish it up.

I never realized that we would have made so much money. I was stunned, to tell you the truth. I never expected a thing from my guests except to come & have a good time.

That basket sounds like something that I would have always cherished. A little silly but yet something about it brought a smile to my face when I read the contents. I guess I'm just a simple kind of gal.

We didn't plan a honeymoon because we couldn't afford it but since we got so much cash we drove out to Ohio but we took our time doing it, making stops along the way & renting cheap hotel rooms & going to bars in the evening for some fun.

We brought the fireworks home & re-invited everyone to another cookout & we set off the fireworks with them so they could enjoy our honeymoon memories with us.

The hubby I have now, well, we did the common law thing one day & went to work that afternoon. We never even told people what we did for over 6 months but there's a funny story about it. If you want me to spill the beans on it, let me know & I'll type it out.
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