Originally Posted by Zhizara
Me too, Addie! My remote control is MINE now. When I retired, I decided to retire from other people's drama. Like you said, selfish? Yeah! It's my turn.
I don't think kids ever realize just how much of life they suck out of you. Your whole world revolves around them and their constant needs. The only way to recover is to become selfish when the nest is empty. It is not that we don't love them. The transition of a full house with all the noises to an empty nest is a learning period. Learning how to be selfish. Learning how to say "No" to your kids. Letting them learn by being on their own and make and correct their own mistakes. Sometimes it is difficult to stand by and watch them go through a growing up period.
I made a chocolate cake today for a cancer patient. My daughter wanted to know how come I didn't make two. One for her and her husband. I asked her how come she doesn't make it herself. She thought I was being mean. She is the one who is more into herself. Since I moved into elderly housing, and have joined the ESP medical plan, she feels like she no longer has any responsibility for me. All my needs are being met by others. She acts like I am really putting her out if I ask her to do anything. I once asked her if on weekends when she does all her running around and doing errands, if she would mind picking me up so I could get out of the house once in a while. I can't walk far and I don't mind finding a seat at the front of a store just watching people. You would have thought I asked her to cut off her legs. She has a bunch of excuses as to why she can't stop to pick me up. I no longer ask her for anything.
Son #1 takes me anywhere I want to go without ever complaining. And at my schedule of time. Not his. He is my rock.
Son #2 drives a cab. On nights when he has a good night and gets airport runs, he stops by and gives me a $20 bill. Airport runs pay really good with tips. And the airport is only thirty seconds away from my home. Right now he is saving up so he can get an auto so he can take me out on weekends when he is not working.
Son #3 lives too far away to be of any help unless I get sick. He is my medical proxy and makes sure that when Son #1 calls him to let hm know that again I am in the hospital, he calls the hospital and goes over any treatment that is planned for me.
Son #3 has a family. And his work keeps him from visiting me as often as he would like. And I understand that. But he does call at least once a week to make sure I am feeling all right.
In spite of my kids though, I still have my freedom. And they have learned that I am not senile yet. If I choose to have no chairs, so be it. My choice. I don't bother to call my daughter anymore. Like you said, too much drama with her. I don't need or want it. Am I lonly living alone? Heck no. I am enjoying it to the fullest.