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Old 06-19-2012, 12:34 AM   #3541
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Add my hug to the batch Princess and have him give you one back for me.

Here in Canada we have the opposite problem. They want to get them out ASAP and will pay whatever it takes to have them home and looked after there. We had care workers, nurses, respiratory techs, physio and occupational therapists coming and going for Dad. And if I found it too much, they would ask whatever else I needed. But mostly I looked after him. And when these people were here it was difficult because the dogs would have to be gated up, and Dad would need me there to "interpret" what people were saying because of his hearing. It really wasn't "help" for me, just an assurance whatever needed doing was done right.
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Old 06-19-2012, 12:48 AM   #3542
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So sorry, VB, TL, and PF. Hugs and good thoughts to all. Sux to get older.
It's better than the alternative.
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Old 06-19-2012, 01:14 AM   #3543
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Losing a parent is a very difficult event to go through. But if it is the last parent, you feel like now you are an orphan. No matter how old you are. All of a sudden you become the oldest generation of the family. My deepest sympathy to you and Stirling.
My maternal grandmother died when I was 13 after 2 weeks in the hospital. I knew exactly when she died (it was 1:33 p.m., I was in home ec class). When I got home from school, my mother was prostate on her bed keening. I remember her saying that she was an orphan. My mom was 40 when her mom died. My dad was 65 when his mother died.

I am 53 and still have both my parents, but many of my friends have lost theirs. I treasure the fact I can still pick up the phone and call them. VB, make amends with your father. I didn't speak to my parents for 6 years. I regret the loss of those years--my mother was still lucid then. Now, she is not always lucid and she is not the mom I remember. Be the bigger person and set aside whatever anger and hurt you have and make amends. The relationship won't be the same, but you will not be sorry. And, your dad will probably meet you halfway. Mine did.

TL--hugs to both of you. How is Stirling's mom holding up?
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Old 06-19-2012, 01:28 AM   #3544
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CWS, I asked Stirling's mum how she was doing. She replied, "One step at a time." I'm not sure how she is holding up. I think she is being the "tower of strength" right now. I'll know better when I see her. It will probably hit her sometime after the cremation.
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Old 06-19-2012, 02:44 AM   #3545
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We got the call this morning. Stirling's dad passed away last night. Our Facebook pages have been flooded with condolences.
I just saw this TL. Please accept my hugs and condolences. I know how hard it is to lose a parent - no matter how ill they are you don't want to see them suffer and yet it is hard to let them go.
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Old 06-19-2012, 08:07 AM   #3546
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I just saw this TL. Please accept my hugs and condolences. I know how hard it is to lose a parent - no matter how ill they are you don't want to see them suffer and yet it is hard to let them go.
Thank you Laurie. I how are you doing on that front?
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Old 06-19-2012, 09:48 AM   #3547
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CWS, I asked Stirling's mum how she was doing. She replied, "One step at a time." I'm not sure how she is holding up. I think she is being the "tower of strength" right now. I'll know better when I see her. It will probably hit her sometime after the cremation.
Sounds as if she's on "auto pilot" to get her through the cremation. Thoughts with you and yours. Gotta love DC--we cook, we joke, and we grieve together.
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Old 06-19-2012, 10:08 AM   #3548
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CWS, I asked Stirling's mum how she was doing. She replied, "One step at a time." I'm not sure how she is holding up. I think she is being the "tower of strength" right now. I'll know better when I see her. It will probably hit her sometime after the cremation.
I understand what she's saying, taxlady. It was 4 years ago yesterday that Buck died suddenly and I felt the same way. The few days surrounding and after his death/funeral/cremation were spent in an almost stoic numb state. Some parts of it I still don't remember.

The part that was the most challenging was walking into our big old house...alone and knowing that was how it was going to be from then on.

The only advice I can offer is to be there when she needs you. It's a tough road, especially if she and her husband were together for a long time.
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Old 06-20-2012, 08:25 AM   #3549
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We got the call this morning. Stirling's dad passed away last night. Our Facebook pages have been flooded with condolences.
So sorry TL, I lost my dad last fall. It's still hard. Slowly my grieving has been replaced with being grateful for the experience of having a wonderful, caring dad. I was lucky.
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Old 06-20-2012, 08:36 AM   #3550
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My condolences Vanilla Bean and Taxlady. I'm very sorry to hear of each of your loss.
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