"Discover Cooking, Discuss Life."

Go Back   Discuss Cooking - Cooking Forums > The Back Porch > Off Topic Discussions
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
 
Old 01-13-2013, 05:00 PM   #8301
Certified Cake Maniac
 
LPBeier's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: The Great "Wet" North, Surrey, BC
Posts: 18,939
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dawgluver View Post
This sounds familiar, SB. Am thinking our moms may have collaborated at some point.
My Dad was cut from the same mold. It took a lot to finally convince him he couldn't be on his own and the idea of moving in with us was much more pleasant to him than going in a care home at that time.

Sending thoughts and prayers your way, SB. {{{{{{{{{{{{{ Simonbaker & her Mom }}}}}}}}}}}}}
__________________

__________________
Living gluten/dairy/sugar/fat/caffiene-free and loving it!


http://beinglydia.com
LPBeier is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-13-2013, 05:11 PM   #8302
Ogress Supreme
 
PrincessFiona60's Avatar
Site Administrator
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Wyoming
Posts: 36,305
It is so hard to know and live through the notion that your parent has the right to fail. Sometimes this has to be proven to them. We have let people go home from our facility that we knew were not capable, because it is their right to go home. I know it sounds horrible, but when they are adamant to do things on their own...all you can do is be ready to pick up the pieces and continue to offer support and help. All of you good children are doing just fine in the support and advice department, but they are adults and allowed to continue making their own mistakes.
__________________

__________________
PrincessFiona60 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-13-2013, 05:18 PM   #8303
Chef Extraordinaire
 
taxlady's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: near Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Posts: 18,893
Send a message via Skype™ to taxlady
Quote:
Originally Posted by PrincessFiona60 View Post
It is so hard to know and live through the notion that your parent has the right to fail. Sometimes this has to be proven to them. We have let people go home from our facility that we knew were not capable, because it is their right to go home. I know it sounds horrible, but when they are adamant to do things on their own...all you can do is be ready to pick up the pieces and continue to offer support and help. All of you good children are doing just fine in the support and advice department, but they are adults and allowed to continue making their own mistakes.
Very well put PF.

I just have to think about how I would feel in the parent's place.
__________________
May you live as long as you wish and love as long as you live.
Robert A. Heinlein
taxlady is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 01-13-2013, 05:28 PM   #8304
Certified Cake Maniac
 
LPBeier's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: The Great "Wet" North, Surrey, BC
Posts: 18,939
Quote:
Originally Posted by PrincessFiona60 View Post
It is so hard to know and live through the notion that your parent has the right to fail. Sometimes this has to be proven to them. We have let people go home from our facility that we knew were not capable, because it is their right to go home. I know it sounds horrible, but when they are adamant to do things on their own...all you can do is be ready to pick up the pieces and continue to offer support and help. All of you good children are doing just fine in the support and advice department, but they are adults and allowed to continue making their own mistakes.
Thanks, PF. Yes, I did learn a lot about this in those three years that Dad lived with us. But at least I had him close by so I could be there when he did fall (literally and figuratively). But it was very hard watching him deteriorate and not try to smother him too much.
__________________
Living gluten/dairy/sugar/fat/caffiene-free and loving it!


http://beinglydia.com
LPBeier is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-13-2013, 05:37 PM   #8305
Ogress Supreme
 
PrincessFiona60's Avatar
Site Administrator
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Wyoming
Posts: 36,305
Quote:
Originally Posted by LPBeier View Post
Thanks, PF. Yes, I did learn a lot about this in those three years that Dad lived with us. But at least I had him close by so I could be there when he did fall (literally and figuratively). But it was very hard watching him deteriorate and not try to smother him too much.
Then there is cold-hearted me who walks up and says, "Put your hands here and push." when they want a free ride in their wheelchair or I make them get out of bed and walk to the bathroom instead of helping them with a bedpan. But, if they want to go home, someone has to be the taskmaster. I know it's hard, I'm glad I am not watching my parents. Mom is 70, Dad is 71...Shrek will be 67, soon...
__________________
PrincessFiona60 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-13-2013, 05:39 PM   #8306
Executive Chef
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,899
Quote:
Originally Posted by PrincessFiona60 View Post
It is so hard to know and live through the notion that your parent has the right to fail. Sometimes this has to be proven to them. We have let people go home from our facility that we knew were not capable, because it is their right to go home. I know it sounds horrible, but when they are adamant to do things on their own...all you can do is be ready to pick up the pieces and continue to offer support and help. All of you good children are doing just fine in the support and advice department, but they are adults and allowed to continue making their own mistakes.
Great words of advice. I also went through this with my Dad. It was difficult and at times hearbreaking, but his feelings and dignity had to be considered. When he knew the time was right we made the move for him and he was thankful for all the support we were able to provide to him when he needed to prove himself. There are times I wish we had pushed him but after all was said and done and he was gone I recognized the importance of what we allowed him - as an adult - to do. It's a tough situation SB and we are sending best wishes and prayers to your family.
__________________
MrsLMB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-13-2013, 05:43 PM   #8307
Ogress Supreme
 
PrincessFiona60's Avatar
Site Administrator
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Wyoming
Posts: 36,305
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsLMB View Post
Great words of advice. I also went through this with my Dad. It was difficult and at times hearbreaking, but his feelings and dignity had to be considered. When he knew the time was right we made the move for him and he was thankful for all the support we were able to provide to him when he needed to prove himself. There are times I wish we had pushed him but after all was said and done and he was gone I recognized the importance of what we allowed him - as an adult - to do. It's a tough situation SB and we are sending best wishes and prayers to your family.
It's tough to remember that you are still the child...your parent hasn't forgotten that. I will not take care of my parents, I also will not provide daily care for Shrek, I will make sure that they have the best of care, in their homes for as long as possible, but I wish to remain daughter and wife, never a parent. I am not very objective when it comes to MY parents and husband.
__________________
PrincessFiona60 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-13-2013, 05:57 PM   #8308
Chef Extraordinaire
 
Kylie1969's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 13,936
About to head over to mums for a coffee and chat
__________________
All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt
Kylie1969 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-14-2013, 12:24 AM   #8309
Chef Extraordinaire
 
taxlady's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: near Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Posts: 18,893
Send a message via Skype™ to taxlady
I have been fighting with my new phone. I went to my cell providers website and signed in. Then I updated the SIM card (new, smaller, LTE SIM). Big warnings that it would take place immediately and that it isn't reversible. Well, I tried calling Stirling, but it said no network, so I powered off the phone and powered it back on (as instructed yesterday). Still no network. Gah.

Well, I have Bell's "Single Number Reach" for my other phone number and usually have it forwarded to my cell. Most of my friends and clients use that number. So, I switched the forwarding to Stirling's mobile before we went out for supper. I tried calling fido (cell phone provider) and they are closed after 17h on Sundays. Gah!

Then later, when I was installing some apps, I noticed that it said "fido", so I tried calling and it worked. Phew.

I have been reading privacy policies 'til I'm cross eyed. One app, for "TheWeatherNetwork" wants permission to "read phone status and identity
Allows the app to access the phone features of the device. This permission allows the app to determine the phone number and device IDs, whether a call is active, and the remote number connected by a call."

Huh? It wants my phone number? It wants to know who I am calling? Why? And why does it need to access the phone features? Or am I completely misunderstanding this?

I give up for now. I'm going to read my book.
__________________
May you live as long as you wish and love as long as you live.
Robert A. Heinlein
taxlady is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 01-14-2013, 12:40 AM   #8310
Certified Cake Maniac
 
LPBeier's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: The Great "Wet" North, Surrey, BC
Posts: 18,939
Quote:
Originally Posted by PrincessFiona60 View Post
It's tough to remember that you are still the child...your parent hasn't forgotten that. I will not take care of my parents, I also will not provide daily care for Shrek, I will make sure that they have the best of care, in their homes for as long as possible, but I wish to remain daughter and wife, never a parent. I am not very objective when it comes to MY parents and husband.
This was what I struggled with for 3 years with Dad. There were times he wanted me to be the "parent" but then would resent it. And I just wanted to be the daughter "helping out". I don't regret a minute of it, but those of you who heard my rants more than a few times know it wasn't easy. That is why when he went in the hospital that last time I made it known to TB, my sister and the medical staff that he could not come home again. They offered me all the help I needed - way beyond the one hour a day we got. But Dad would say he didn't need it and not realize it was as much or more for me as for him. As it turned out, he never did come home and I always wondered if he declined because he didn't want to go to a home....even though he loved the convalescent one he was in twice. But I can't dwell on those kind of things. And he is not in pain or suffering now - no home or care facility could provide that.
__________________

__________________
Living gluten/dairy/sugar/fat/caffiene-free and loving it!


http://beinglydia.com
LPBeier is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



» Discuss Cooking on Facebook

Our Communities

Our communities encompass many different hobbies and interests, but each one is built on friendly, intelligent membership.

» More about our Communities

Automotive Communities

Our Automotive communities encompass many different makes and models. From U.S. domestics to European Saloons.

» More about our Automotive Communities

Marine Communities

Our Marine websites focus on Cruising and Sailing Vessels, including forums and the largest cruising Wiki project on the web today.

» More about our Marine Communities


Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 02:44 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 4
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.