What are you doing?

[LPBeier]

This sounds familiar, SB. Am thinking our moms may have collaborated at some point.

My Dad was cut from the same mold. It took a lot to finally convince him he couldn't be on his own and the idea of moving in with us was much more pleasant to him than going in a care home at that time.

Sending thoughts and prayers your way, SB. {{{{{{{{{{{{{ Simonbaker & her Mom }}}}}}}}}}}}}

 

[PrincessFiona60]

It is so hard to know and live through the notion that your parent has the right to fail. Sometimes this has to be proven to them. We have let people go home from our facility that we knew were not capable, because it is their right to go home. I know it sounds horrible, but when they are adamant to do things on their own...all you can do is be ready to pick up the pieces and continue to offer support and help. All of you good children are doing just fine in the support and advice department, but they are adults and allowed to continue making their own mistakes.

 

[taxlady]

It is so hard to know and live through the notion that your parent has the right to fail. Sometimes this has to be proven to them. We have let people go home from our facility that we knew were not capable, because it is their right to go home. I know it sounds horrible, but when they are adamant to do things on their own...all you can do is be ready to pick up the pieces and continue to offer support and help. All of you good children are doing just fine in the support and advice department, but they are adults and allowed to continue making their own mistakes.

Very well put PF.

I just have to think about how I would feel in the parent's place.

 

[LPBeier]

It is so hard to know and live through the notion that your parent has the right to fail. Sometimes this has to be proven to them. We have let people go home from our facility that we knew were not capable, because it is their right to go home. I know it sounds horrible, but when they are adamant to do things on their own...all you can do is be ready to pick up the pieces and continue to offer support and help. All of you good children are doing just fine in the support and advice department, but they are adults and allowed to continue making their own mistakes.

Thanks, PF. Yes, I did learn a lot about this in those three years that Dad lived with us. But at least I had him close by so I could be there when he did fall (literally and figuratively). But it was very hard watching him deteriorate and not try to smother him too much.

 

[PrincessFiona60]

Thanks, PF. Yes, I did learn a lot about this in those three years that Dad lived with us. But at least I had him close by so I could be there when he did fall (literally and figuratively). But it was very hard watching him deteriorate and not try to smother him too much.

Then there is cold-hearted me who walks up and says, "Put your hands here and push." when they want a free ride in their wheelchair or I make them get out of bed and walk to the bathroom instead of helping them with a bedpan. But, if they want to go home, someone has to be the taskmaster. I know it's hard, I'm glad I am not watching my parents. Mom is 70, Dad is 71...Shrek will be 67, soon...

 

[MrsLMB]

It is so hard to know and live through the notion that your parent has the right to fail. Sometimes this has to be proven to them. We have let people go home from our facility that we knew were not capable, because it is their right to go home. I know it sounds horrible, but when they are adamant to do things on their own...all you can do is be ready to pick up the pieces and continue to offer support and help. All of you good children are doing just fine in the support and advice department, but they are adults and allowed to continue making their own mistakes.

Great words of advice. I also went through this with my Dad. It was difficult and at times hearbreaking, but his feelings and dignity had to be considered. When he knew the time was right we made the move for him and he was thankful for all the support we were able to provide to him when he needed to prove himself. There are times I wish we had pushed him but after all was said and done and he was gone I recognized the importance of what we allowed him - as an adult - to do. It's a tough situation SB and we are sending best wishes and prayers to your family.

 

[PrincessFiona60]

Great words of advice. I also went through this with my Dad. It was difficult and at times hearbreaking, but his feelings and dignity had to be considered. When he knew the time was right we made the move for him and he was thankful for all the support we were able to provide to him when he needed to prove himself. There are times I wish we had pushed him but after all was said and done and he was gone I recognized the importance of what we allowed him - as an adult - to do. It's a tough situation SB and we are sending best wishes and prayers to your family.

It's tough to remember that you are still the child...your parent hasn't forgotten that. I will not take care of my parents, I also will not provide daily care for Shrek, I will make sure that they have the best of care, in their homes for as long as possible, but I wish to remain daughter and wife, never a parent. I am not very objective when it comes to MY parents and husband.

 

[Kylie1969]

About to head over to mums for a coffee and chat

 

[taxlady]

I have been fighting with my new phone. I went to my cell providers website and signed in. Then I updated the SIM card (new, smaller, LTE SIM). Big warnings that it would take place immediately and that it isn't reversible. Well, I tried calling Stirling, but it said no network, so I powered off the phone and powered it back on (as instructed yesterday). Still no network. Gah.

Well, I have Bell's "Single Number Reach" for my other phone number and usually have it forwarded to my cell. Most of my friends and clients use that number. So, I switched the forwarding to Stirling's mobile before we went out for supper. I tried calling fido (cell phone provider) and they are closed after 17h on Sundays. Gah!

Then later, when I was installing some apps, I noticed that it said "fido", so I tried calling and it worked. Phew.

I have been reading privacy policies 'til I'm cross eyed. One app, for "TheWeatherNetwork" wants permission to "read phone status and identity
Allows the app to access the phone features of the device. This permission allows the app to determine the phone number and device IDs, whether a call is active, and the remote number connected by a call."

Huh? It wants my phone number? It wants to know who I am calling? Why? And why does it need to access the phone features? Or am I completely misunderstanding this?

I give up for now. I'm going to read my book.

 

[LPBeier]

It's tough to remember that you are still the child...your parent hasn't forgotten that. I will not take care of my parents, I also will not provide daily care for Shrek, I will make sure that they have the best of care, in their homes for as long as possible, but I wish to remain daughter and wife, never a parent. I am not very objective when it comes to MY parents and husband.

This was what I struggled with for 3 years with Dad. There were times he wanted me to be the "parent" but then would resent it. And I just wanted to be the daughter "helping out". I don't regret a minute of it, but those of you who heard my rants more than a few times know it wasn't easy. That is why when he went in the hospital that last time I made it known to TB, my sister and the medical staff that he could not come home again. They offered me all the help I needed - way beyond the one hour a day we got. But Dad would say he didn't need it and not realize it was as much or more for me as for him. As it turned out, he never did come home and I always wondered if he declined because he didn't want to go to a home....even though he loved the convalescent one he was in twice. But I can't dwell on those kind of things. And he is not in pain or suffering now - no home or care facility could provide that.

 

[Addie]

Spending time in sw Mn. With my mom. She has some bad nerve damage in her lower back. We have to wait until Tuesday for a MRI. Trying to convince her to come back with me as I need 2 get back to work but she s being stubborn about it. After last night I do not want to leave her alone. Bad bought of diarrhea & she cannot move very fast. I was up with her most of the night. She uses a walker all around the house. I am worried she would fall if left alone. If she came back with me I could have people with her during the day when we are at work. She still won t go. Argh!!!

It is very hard for a senior to give up their independence. Does she have a lifeline? Even if she hits the button and doesn't respond, they will send someone to check on her. It just might give you some peace of mind. Can you ask a neighbor to check on her occasionally?

We had a resident who had Parkinson Disease. We all knew what his prognosis was. He fought it and fought it. But eventually had to give up his apartment. I saw him at day care the other day. He had to admit, that getting full time care in a nursing home was what he needed now. Hard to admit.

 

[PrincessFiona60]

Wide awake since 2 this morning, finally gave up at three...I'm hoping I get drowsy and can go back to bed. Or start going into work at 4 in the morning...

 

[Addie]

Wide awake since 2 this morning, finally gave up at three...I'm hoping I get drowsy and can go back to bed. Or start going into work at 4 in the morning...

I know the feeling. Been up all night. Sit here at the computer. Get real sleepy, lay down, eyes wide open.

 

[LPBeier]

Princess, you and I should work on a night watch. I didn't get to sleep until 2 this morning. Was coughing almost non-stop. Finally I guess it tired me out enough I finally just went to sleep.

I am sitting here waiting for the phone to ring from the vet. Everyone else has called so far. It is snowing out, so if I have to take Joie in I will have to drive in it. TB comes home around 3:30 today (usually doesn't start until 3 but is on a training day) so if it can wait till then I will be okay.

Both the dentist office and the hospital have called to see how I am feeling for my appointments. We are going with the dentist tomorrow....though that is the one I want to cancel. As for the angio, I told them about the cough so they said they will call Wednesday when a decision will be made. I think they are more looking for flu than cold so that is good. This hospital has already had 2 quarantines (wards only) so they are not looking for one in their cardiac outpatient area!

 

[LPBeier]

It is very hard for a senior to give up their independence. Does she have a lifeline? Even if she hits the button and doesn't respond, they will send someone to check on her. It just might give you some peace of mind. Can you ask a neighbor to check on her occasionally?

My Dad kept his lifeline when he moved into here and it was really great because if TB and I were both out we knew he had that. The funny thing is the two times he used it we were home! The first was just after he came home from the hospital the first time and both bedroom doors were closed. He couldn't move or talk (we all thought stroke) and took 10 minutes to find and push the button. We woke up to the sound of the speaker in the living room. After that the doors stayed open at night and we were able to check on Dad whenever we were up. The second time Dad and I were home alone and he fell off the bed and was wedged between the bed and the wall. I couldn't get him up and was propping his head as it was at a bad angle so I pushed the button and they sent an ambulance to help us. Even a "non emergency" like that if it is an elderly person in trouble (and in this case a disabled one trying to help), they will send a truck ASAP.

I would suggest anyone who is older (or not) who has health concerns should get one. They don't always send an ambulance but will call someone on the contact list to come and check you - they do what is needed.

 

[pacanis]

I just got back from the township bldg where I confirmed some great news.
The township, in a very contoversial move, has been putting in sewer lines. And I found out that if you are more than 150' from the line you don't have to hook up. Very good news for me. Especially with two perfectly good septic systems.

 

[PrincessFiona60]

That is good news!

I'm trying to get ready to go do laundry...yippee!!

 

[taxlady]

I just got back from the township bldg where I confirmed some great news.
The township, in a very contoversial move, has been putting in sewer lines. And I found out that if you are more than 150' from the line you don't have to hook up. Very good news for me. Especially with two perfectly good septic systems.

I don't know much about septic systems. Why is this good news?

 

[taxlady]

It's going down below freezing today. A while ago I went outside and put salt on the last icy bits on the pavement in front of my house (condo common area). I just got back in from kicking the last, melting bits of ice into the snow bank. I really didn't want those slick bits of ice to freeze up hard and be dangerously slippy bits under new snow.

 

[JoAnn L.]

Just getting ready to sit in my comfortable recliner to read a good mystery and have a cup of hot cocoa.