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Old 06-12-2012, 12:55 PM   #21
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Oh, Addie, I am so sorry I have missed this and you will be gone already to your surgery! You are in my thoughts and prayers. {{{{{{{{{{Addie}}}}}}}}}}

I am feeling a little on the sad side. Today I will travel into town to attend the funeral of a lifelong friend's MIL. I have known this lady ever since my friend's wedding (I was maid of honour) 30 years ago. When my Dad was in convalescent the first time in 2010, so was she and I used to visit her every day while Dad was in physio. She would show me all the cards she had made and we would chat about anything and everything. Her son used to visit my Dad every time he was up as well.

I am missing a grief counseling session for this but I will be with an extended family that will be grieving their own loss. I am hoping I can be a comfort to them as many of them were for me just a short couple of months ago.
Hey there my other daughter my eye surgery is thursday morning...I'm not scared this time the local takes me out for just a few min I wont allow to be put out at all. Each time I have it's been hell to pay afterwards. Soooooo anyway wish me luck and at last perfect vision.
ma
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Old 06-12-2012, 01:46 PM   #22
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Thinking of everyone going through grieving and health problems!
Addie, how did you do?
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Old 06-12-2012, 01:46 PM   #23
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Oh, Addie, I am so sorry I have missed this and you will be gone already to your surgery! You are in my thoughts and prayers. {{{{{{{{{{Addie}}}}}}}}}}

I am feeling a little on the sad side. Today I will travel into town to attend the funeral of a lifelong friend's MIL. I have known this lady ever since my friend's wedding (I was maid of honour) 30 years ago. When my Dad was in convalescent the first time in 2010, so was she and I used to visit her every day while Dad was in physio. She would show me all the cards she had made and we would chat about anything and everything. Her son used to visit my Dad every time he was up as well.

I am missing a grief counseling session for this but I will be with an extended family that will be grieving their own loss. I am hoping I can be a comfort to them as many of them were for me just a short couple of months ago.
Laurie, thank you for the kind words. On the way to the hospital I had a minor episode of angina. No biggie. I have them every so often. Brought on by stress of what I was facing. I felt it best to let them know about it though. They rushed me down to the ER. Sat there for three hours. I got up, dressed and as I was leaving I thanked them for all their help they gave me. A migraine headache that I didn't have when I entered. And I walked out. It took over an hour for the doctor to even stop by and ask me what the problem was. Then she kept getting interrupted and leaving. So much for individual attention. So now they have to reschedule the surgery.

Just having someone there when you need them, even if you don't talk is often all that is needed. A hug speaks volumes. I am sure your friends will know that without saying it. You are a good friend.
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Old 06-12-2012, 01:48 PM   #24
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He's one of my favorite authors. After I read some of his books, I read hundreds of science fiction books in the following 10 years. What an inspiration, he'll be very missed.


i too was swept into the world of sci fi by raymond bradbury. for me, he legitimized a genre of writing that i would not have otherwise pursued. he was an inspiration to other writers as well. the venus crossing could not have been accidental--a cosmic event was needed to mark ray bradbury's passing....
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Old 06-12-2012, 01:52 PM   #25
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Laurie, thank you for the kind words. On the way to the hospital I had a minor episode of angina. No biggie. I have them every so often. Brought on by stress of what I was facing. I felt it best to let them know about it though. They rushed me down to the ER. Sat there for three hours. I got up, dressed and as I was leaving I thanked them for all their help they gave me. A migraine headache that I didn't have when I entered. And I walked out. It took over an hour for the doctor to even stop by and ask me what the problem was. Then she kept getting interrupted and leaving. So much for individual attention. So now they have to reschedule the surgery.

Just having someone there when you need them, even if you don't talk is often all that is needed. A hug speaks volumes. I am sure your friends will know that without saying it. You are a good friend.
Well sweetie I can't reach you but let's try a cybur hug...I'm sorry this happened to you !!My DH would have raised cain so much so you'd have been taken care of. Let me know when the surgery is scheduled next so I can hold your hand.
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Old 06-12-2012, 02:08 PM   #26
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Well sweetie I can't reach you but let's try a cyber hug...I'm sorry this happened to you !!My DH would have raised cain so much so you'd have been taken care of. Let me know when the surgery is scheduled next so I can hold your hand.
kades
Thank you so much for the kind words. That hug is just what I need right now. At least I didn't forget my manners. I did thank them for the migraine headache. The next time I want to speak with the anesthesiologist before any surgery is scheduled. Just medicating me is not going to fly. I want to go under. What brought on the stress was the thought of a knife coming at my eye while I am "JUST MEDICATED." That is what I was thinking of when the episode occurred. I am willing to take the risk of going under. So many folks who have had the surgery say it is a piece of cake. Well, maybe for them, but not me. The idea of a knife coming at my eye horrifies me. Just thinking about it brings on an angina episode. Right now I don't know if I should be filled with anger or terror. I will have to get back to you on that one. Will let you know what is next.
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Old 06-12-2012, 02:31 PM   #27
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Hey there my other daughter my eye surgery is thursday morning...I'm not scared this time the local takes me out for just a few min I wont allow to be put out at all. Each time I have it's been hell to pay afterwards. Soooooo anyway wish me luck and at last perfect vision.
ma
Ma, I was going to message you because I thought I saw somewhere that your surgery was coming up too but couldn't find it again. It goes without saying that you get all my love, hugs and prayers.

Love you to bits!
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Old 06-12-2012, 02:34 PM   #28
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Originally Posted by kadesma
Hey there my other daughter my eye surgery is thursday morning...I'm not scared this time the local takes me out for just a few min I wont allow to be put out at all. Each time I have it's been hell to pay afterwards. Soooooo anyway wish me luck and at last perfect vision.
ma
Best of luck, Ma! I know you'll do great!
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Old 06-12-2012, 02:48 PM   #29
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Thinking of everyone going through grieving and health problems!
Addie, how did you do?
I was in shock during the wake and funeral. Don't remember much of that. My daughter died on a Friday, and it was a holiday weekend. So her body wasn't autopsied until Tuesday, and they released her body on Wednesday. Funeral next day. Then I had five kids that arrangements needed to be made. No time for grief. I took the oldest and we got the other four into homes. By then I was over the shock. I had a couple of nights in my room of hard sobbing alone. I had my oldest granddaughter and I didn't want to upset her. That was a mistake. You need to reach out and share your grief. I not only had my own, but hers too to deal with. I had to try and help her also.

We tried a counseling group. Not for us. They were mostly elderly widows. Certainly not for a 15 y.o. So I called a private clinic and told them the problem and why I wanted my GD to get help. I was not doing a good job of helping her. She agreed to go.

Without even seeing her, knowing nothing about her medical history, they immediately called Walgreen's and left a prescription for a strong tranquilizer. I was so angry. I never picked up the medicine and didn't make an appointment for her. I knew this wasn't going to be the right place for her. So we muddled through. She had a cat named Sasha that she told everything to. I would stand outside her room and listen to her. And I broke the cardinal rule. I found her diary and read it. I needed to know. It gave me a reason to talk to her about her mother. We had a few sessions where we both cried out hearts out together. Great therapy. Eventually we reached the point where I could tell her funny stories about her mother when she was a child. She loved hearing them.

She was having a hard time in school. She had always been a straight A student. You know how kids say, "Oh I hate my mother. I wish she was dead." Every time she heard that she would break down enough that the school would send her home. So I arranged for home schooling for her. She finished her 11th and 12th grade and graduated with a straight A (4.0) average.

In a way having her and having to help her through this hard time was my salvation. It kept my mind off my own grief. You know how they tell you to keep busy? Well it works. I took a year off from working. Between unemployment and her welfare and SS check from her mother's account, we made it work. I tried going back to work about two weeks after the funeral. I was sitting next to a woman whose husband had cancer and she was talking about how he was expected to die. I couldn't handle it. So I decided to take time off from working.

Her death, and knowing she was murdered was hard on the whole family. My oldest daughter lost all her hair from the shock. How do you pick up the phone and let the rest of the family know? They were the hardest phone calls I have ever made. All I can say is I am so glad that there is no family feuds in our family. When something happens to one of us, the whole family pulls together. I have always told my kids, "Remember, you don't want to live with the "if onlies." If only I had told her I love her,. If only I had helped her .... Eventually we all reached that point where we could talk about her without breaking down. Our favorite time to tell stories is around a holiday table. She died in May and by Thanksgiving, we were telling stories about her. Four of her kids came to dinner that year and they loved hearing about her. It was therapy for all of us.

It has been 14 years since her death. I still have moments and so does the rest of the family. Specially around the anniversay or her birthday. But we learned not ot dwell on it too long. This year was not a good year for me. Who knows? Next year maybe better come April and May.

Talking about the person and telling funny stories is great therapy. Like they say, "Laughter is the best medicine."

Sorry this is so wordy.
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Old 06-12-2012, 02:49 PM   #30
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Thank you so much for the kind words. That hug is just what I need right now. At least I didn't forget my manners. I did thank them for the migraine headache. The next time I want to speak with the anesthesiologist before any surgery is scheduled. Just medicating me is not going to fly. I want to go under. What brought on the stress was the thought of a knife coming at my eye while I am "JUST MEDICATED." That is what I was thinking of when the episode occurred. I am willing to take the risk of going under. So many folks who have had the surgery say it is a piece of cake. Well, maybe for them, but not me. The idea of a knife coming at my eye horrifies me. Just thinking about it brings on an angina episode. Right now I don't know if I should be filled with anger or terror. I will have to get back to you on that one. Will let you know what is next.
Honey I don't know what type of surgery you're having, me it's for a cataracht (sp) I do know they use a needle I go under for a min or two and that's it I have a local and talk to the dr. who gives it to me first. he then wakes me and start's talking once again he was a gem loved him. I don't allow general have had to many bad expieriences with them no more for me. They would have to hit me over the head...Don't be afrain We will all be with you honey and our prayers and good thoughts will help you through the surgery.
hugs Addie
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