I guess I'm a lone dissenter here. He's still a kid. Yeah, probably more like 12 than 20. Some kids take a little longer. I have a cousin that finally blossomed at 25... she's a lawyer now. She just wasn't ready to give up childhood. Her parents supported her emotionally and financially and she's now a wonderful mother. I don't agree with the tough love act. I used to think 18 was adulthood. Yeah, politically it is. I can die for my country at that age. But emotionally, I wasn't ready to be an adult. I'd say that as long as he's not totally screwing up his life or ignoring your sage advice, give him some slack and help him figure out what the future holds. JMHO. Tough love equals a confused kid with too many options equals serious trouble. It's hard to help "yet again!!!", but that's why they call it parenting. It's not like they magically become NOT OUR KIDS at a certain age. I'm an attachment parenting advocate in case it wasn't obvious.