What do you do with a kid that only cares about himself?

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Buckytom:) You have one smart Dad!!!I thank him for sticking to his guns and letting the great person you are appear with some tough life lessons- I was going to say mature but,"mature" didn't quite fit!:ROFLMAO: Seriously congrats on learning all the right lessons and now sharing them with our Texasgirl!! With lots of love and energy, Vicki
 
Well, seems I was wrong on the stealing part. Son just called and told me that roommate and another friend, stole the girlfriend's dad's truck and now is missing. Sheriffs from 2 counties are looking for them. I pray that they aren't hurt. I am so thankful and proud that my son did not go with them!! At least he made that decision right. Roommates dad is going to shut off their electric too, it's in his name. I told him that I can't help him anymore. We have done all that we can do. He said he'll figure it out. I told him that I was sorry and that one day he'll understand. He was crying when we hung up. :( My son never cries, so, I know that he understands that he has to do it on his own without me to bail him out this time. OMG, that hurt!!!!!!!!!:sick: Truthfully, right now, if I knew the phone number of where he, I think I would call him back so I could take him home. But, I don't.
I don't know if he makes enough to rent their place alone or not. Hopefully, if he doesn't, he has enough still saved to find somewhere else. He at least has the whole month, just has to figure out the electric.
I guess we'll see how he stands up.
 
Stay stong TG!!! You know in your heart what kind of a boy he really is. He will make it though this hard time and be a better person because of it. It will be hard on all of you, but you will all make it though this.
 
Thank you vicki and bucky!!
Vicki, I know that mine is not close to being as bad as your situation. I just know that it hurt's to let go and make him grow up. I pray that I can be as strong as you are!! Your one helluva lady!

Bucky, thank you for that! I know dh will stick to it, he's pretty hard when it comes to this. He was 16 when he got his first job, got his first car on his own and has been working everyday since. He has screwed up royally plenty of times, but, he's finally growing up at 42 :eek:) I'm the one that will have a hard time with sticking to it.

I hear you GB and I'm trying!
 
I just read through these posts and I am writing with tears rolling down my face. I wish I could give you a hug TG. i think raising children is one of the hardest jobs in the world, especially as they get older. I think all the tough love suggestions are right and you are doing the right thing now no matter how heart wrenching it feels now.
I know it was a long while ago that your mum died but have you considered seeing a grief counsellor? I saw one for a while after my mum died and it helped. i understand about the stigma of depression and your husband's attitude. My DH was a bit the same but after seeing how much different I became whilst on anti depressants for PND he realised that it really is a medical condition. My dad still doesn't understand, he says things like "but you're not that unhappy are you?"
I would try and see a doctor now cause sometimes you just need anti depressants for a short time to get through a depressing/stressfull time. Maybe try St John's Wart or a herbal remedy.
 
thank you vicki, and stay strong tg.

the key is both of you on the same front. he'll thank you for it someday, believe me.

and 42 is a fine age to mature. why rush things????
 
(((TG))) Sounds like the reality of life has finally hit home for your son (since he was crying on the phone with you). He is scared, but this will make him grow up fast and take charge of his life. I feel for you TG, it must be very difficult for you. I havent gotten to that stage yet, my daughter is only 15, but I'm sure my turn will come one day, so thank you for sharing your experiences with us. Be strong mom! :)
 
Please don't cry mrsmac. I just needed a strong front, that is why I came here. I have told all of you more about my life than some of my family know. LOL
I still have moments about my mom, but, I'm better. Some of the things that I go through, I just wish she were here. She was our brickwall and was always there to hold our hand through everything. It's very hard sometimes to know what I should do, but, I think of how she was with me and I try to do the same. Most of the time it works, sometimes it doesn't and I have to do what I feel is right. I'm just glad for the umpteenth time that I found you guys!!
 
texasgirl said:
Please don't cry mrsmac. I just needed a strong front, that is why I came here. I have told all of you more about my life than some of my family know. LOL

Its Ok I think its pregnancy hormones!
I love this board for that reason, you can share things and have people who really care about each other around you.
 
Texasgirl - You are a great mom - your colors shine through in moments like these. Stay strong - we are all here to help you! Remember that your intentions are to do the best thing for him right now - which is the hardest thing for you - being a mom (and dad too) is the hardest job hands down. You are teaching us all something. Thanks girlfriend, and keep posting so we can help - that's what friends are for!
 
I guess I'm a lone dissenter here. He's still a kid. Yeah, probably more like 12 than 20. Some kids take a little longer. I have a cousin that finally blossomed at 25... she's a lawyer now. She just wasn't ready to give up childhood. Her parents supported her emotionally and financially and she's now a wonderful mother. I don't agree with the tough love act. I used to think 18 was adulthood. Yeah, politically it is. I can die for my country at that age. But emotionally, I wasn't ready to be an adult. I'd say that as long as he's not totally screwing up his life or ignoring your sage advice, give him some slack and help him figure out what the future holds. JMHO. Tough love equals a confused kid with too many options equals serious trouble. It's hard to help "yet again!!!", but that's why they call it parenting. It's not like they magically become NOT OUR KIDS at a certain age. I'm an attachment parenting advocate in case it wasn't obvious.
 
velochic said:
I guess I'm a lone dissenter here. He's still a kid. Yeah, probably more like 12 than 20. Some kids take a little longer. I have a cousin that finally blossomed at 25... she's a lawyer now. She just wasn't ready to give up childhood. Her parents supported her emotionally and financially and she's now a wonderful mother. I don't agree with the tough love act. I used to think 18 was adulthood. Yeah, politically it is. I can die for my country at that age. But emotionally, I wasn't ready to be an adult. I'd say that as long as he's not totally screwing up his life or ignoring your sage advice, give him some slack and help him figure out what the future holds. JMHO. Tough love equals a confused kid with too many options equals serious trouble. It's hard to help "yet again!!!", but that's why they call it parenting. It's not like they magically become NOT OUR KIDS at a certain age. I'm an attachment parenting advocate in case it wasn't obvious.

I won't even respond to that!!!!
 
I Just want to say good luck. Whatever it is you are doing or will do good luck. I don't ever want to be in situation like that, so good luck to all of us. And, G-d, please make sure our kids grew up to be really Good People.
 
Velochic, my goodness. I hardly know what to say. Clearly you read something in texasgirl's posts that no one else did. Every word she typed screamed tortured parent to me. It also screamed, please support me. I didn't see anywhere that she needed someone to tell her what she was doing was wrong. SHE is not the one advocating the "tough love" that was the rest of us. And if you read buckytom's post a few back from yours you may see that there is plenty of valuable advice in there for parenting older kids too.

I don't think anyone but texasgirl can decide what is best for her to do. We are here to be a family, friends and support one another through hard times. It sounds like this thread hit a nerve for you, and so to you, a hug too.

Texasgirl, remember that everyone has life experiences that make them see the world and words in different ways. Many prayers for strength and wisdom are going up for you today my friend, and virtual hugs abound.
 
Texasgirl, I said it once and I will say it again - you are a good mom - and you have good people supporting you - keep your chin up. I think a glass of wine (or two or three) are in order tonight!
 
Michelemarie said:
Texasgirl, I said it once and I will say it again - you are a good mom - and you have good people supporting you - keep your chin up. I think a glass of wine (or two or three) are in order tonight!

You meant a BOTTLE, right???:angel:
 
Oh, me too! I might not be able to type for long after though! LOL I'm suppose to be making corazons stuffed chicken too. Wonder how that'll turn out LOL
 
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOkay....

Um... she was asking what to do. She wanted opinions. I gave mine. As in

JMHO

I stand by it.

I said I was the lone dissenter on the tough love bit.

I stand by it.

I didn't say anything but my opinion. Nothing hit a nerve for me because I don't have older kids.

My opinion is that I think the OP needs to give her kid a million breaks. A zillion. That's my opinion.

I stand by it.

I said nothing for which I feel the need to apologize.
 

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