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Old 04-04-2006, 03:24 PM   #31
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Texasgirl - You are a great mom - your colors shine through in moments like these. Stay strong - we are all here to help you! Remember that your intentions are to do the best thing for him right now - which is the hardest thing for you - being a mom (and dad too) is the hardest job hands down. You are teaching us all something. Thanks girlfriend, and keep posting so we can help - that's what friends are for!
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Old 04-04-2006, 03:43 PM   #32
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I guess I'm a lone dissenter here. He's still a kid. Yeah, probably more like 12 than 20. Some kids take a little longer. I have a cousin that finally blossomed at 25... she's a lawyer now. She just wasn't ready to give up childhood. Her parents supported her emotionally and financially and she's now a wonderful mother. I don't agree with the tough love act. I used to think 18 was adulthood. Yeah, politically it is. I can die for my country at that age. But emotionally, I wasn't ready to be an adult. I'd say that as long as he's not totally screwing up his life or ignoring your sage advice, give him some slack and help him figure out what the future holds. JMHO. Tough love equals a confused kid with too many options equals serious trouble. It's hard to help "yet again!!!", but that's why they call it parenting. It's not like they magically become NOT OUR KIDS at a certain age. I'm an attachment parenting advocate in case it wasn't obvious.
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Old 04-04-2006, 04:02 PM   #33
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Quote:
Originally Posted by velochic
I guess I'm a lone dissenter here. He's still a kid. Yeah, probably more like 12 than 20. Some kids take a little longer. I have a cousin that finally blossomed at 25... she's a lawyer now. She just wasn't ready to give up childhood. Her parents supported her emotionally and financially and she's now a wonderful mother. I don't agree with the tough love act. I used to think 18 was adulthood. Yeah, politically it is. I can die for my country at that age. But emotionally, I wasn't ready to be an adult. I'd say that as long as he's not totally screwing up his life or ignoring your sage advice, give him some slack and help him figure out what the future holds. JMHO. Tough love equals a confused kid with too many options equals serious trouble. It's hard to help "yet again!!!", but that's why they call it parenting. It's not like they magically become NOT OUR KIDS at a certain age. I'm an attachment parenting advocate in case it wasn't obvious.
I won't even respond to that!!!!
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Old 04-04-2006, 04:14 PM   #34
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I Just want to say good luck. Whatever it is you are doing or will do good luck. I don't ever want to be in situation like that, so good luck to all of us. And, G-d, please make sure our kids grew up to be really Good People.
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Old 04-04-2006, 04:29 PM   #35
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Velochic, my goodness. I hardly know what to say. Clearly you read something in texasgirl's posts that no one else did. Every word she typed screamed tortured parent to me. It also screamed, please support me. I didn't see anywhere that she needed someone to tell her what she was doing was wrong. SHE is not the one advocating the "tough love" that was the rest of us. And if you read buckytom's post a few back from yours you may see that there is plenty of valuable advice in there for parenting older kids too.

I don't think anyone but texasgirl can decide what is best for her to do. We are here to be a family, friends and support one another through hard times. It sounds like this thread hit a nerve for you, and so to you, a hug too.

Texasgirl, remember that everyone has life experiences that make them see the world and words in different ways. Many prayers for strength and wisdom are going up for you today my friend, and virtual hugs abound.
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Old 04-04-2006, 04:34 PM   #36
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Texasgirl, I said it once and I will say it again - you are a good mom - and you have good people supporting you - keep your chin up. I think a glass of wine (or two or three) are in order tonight!
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Old 04-04-2006, 04:35 PM   #37
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Texasgirl, I said it once and I will say it again - you are a good mom - and you have good people supporting you - keep your chin up. I think a glass of wine (or two or three) are in order tonight!
You meant a BOTTLE, right???
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Old 04-04-2006, 04:40 PM   #38
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Is a virtual wine party in order here? Because I'm game!
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Old 04-04-2006, 04:43 PM   #39
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Oh, me too! I might not be able to type for long after though! LOL I'm suppose to be making corazons stuffed chicken too. Wonder how that'll turn out LOL
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Old 04-04-2006, 04:54 PM   #40
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OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOkay....

Um... she was asking what to do. She wanted opinions. I gave mine. As in

JMHO

I stand by it.

I said I was the lone dissenter on the tough love bit.

I stand by it.

I didn't say anything but my opinion. Nothing hit a nerve for me because I don't have older kids.

My opinion is that I think the OP needs to give her kid a million breaks. A zillion. That's my opinion.

I stand by it.

I said nothing for which I feel the need to apologize.
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