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Old 01-26-2012, 07:33 PM   #51
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Awww PT, that would really be hard to live with. I'm sure he has lots of other wonderful qualities or you wouldn't have married him.

As frustrating as it is, I would suspect some other cause for his whining. He's obviously GETTING your attention when he whines. Maybe he needs your attention and he's internalized this is a good way to get it? Does dinner happen at roughly the same time every day? Does he get a chance to decompress after work?

OK, if none of that is helpful, a nice big shot of whiskey or bourbon as an aperitif might make your meals more palatable to him. If not, take the shot yourself! Then his whining won't bug you so much!
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Old 01-26-2012, 08:13 PM   #52
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I yelled at him tonight when he first came home, demanded and recieved an apology. Heartfelt or not I feel better for getting it. DD gave him a dose too
If I had adressed him about it last night .........well it woulda got really nasty. And would have spoiled kids BD, couldn't have lived that one down.


Thanks Everyone for your support
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Old 01-26-2012, 08:26 PM   #53
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You go, Girl!
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Old 01-26-2012, 08:46 PM   #54
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Awww PT, that would really be hard to live with. I'm sure he has lots of other wonderful qualities or you wouldn't have married him.

As frustrating as it is, I would suspect some other cause for his whining. He's obviously GETTING your attention when he whines. Maybe he needs your attention and he's internalized this is a good way to get it? Does dinner happen at roughly the same time every day? Does he get a chance to decompress after work?

OK, if none of that is helpful, a nice big shot of whiskey or bourbon as an aperitif might make your meals more palatable to him. If not, take the shot yourself! Then his whining won't bug you so much!
Some people learn in childhood that whining is a way to get what they want. More of the men in my life than I can count learned not to cry as children ("men don't cry")(my era, I'm 57), but they sure as heck can whine and have temper tantrums. I have one nephew, I swear, who whined for the first few years of his life. Constantly. I mean, he never was not vocalizing, happy or sad, mad or frustrated. He got the attention he wanted (youngest in a good-sized family) without having to cry or act out. His mom would do just about anything to shut him up for a few hours! Sometimes a response of, hey, you're going to whine and bitch no matter what I do, so I'll do what I please, and walk away. In other words, in agreement, with Alix, don't reward behavior that bugs you (as in striving even more to meet his every food desire). When possible, just ignore and walk away (after a session, without kids present, letting him know the new future).
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Old 01-26-2012, 09:09 PM   #55
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don't reward behavior that bugs you (as in striving even more to meet his every food desire). When possible, just ignore and walk away (after a session, without kids present, letting him know the new future).
This was along the lines I was thinking: The performance never continues when the audience has left the theater.
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Old 01-26-2012, 09:33 PM   #56
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My the same thing...whine. But he also eats the food I give him and goes back for seconds and thirds. If he had his choice he would live on 1950's food, primarily canned or boxed. I have finally gotten to the point where I can say "If you don't like it don't eat it. He's a big boy. He can make a box of mac and cheese if he doesn't like what I serve. On the up side, he does put up with me too.
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Old 01-26-2012, 09:57 PM   #57
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My the same thing...whine. But he also eats the food I give him and goes back for seconds and thirds. If he had his choice he would live on 1950's food, primarily canned or boxed. I have finally gotten to the point where I can say "If you don't like it don't eat it. He's a big boy. He can make a box of mac and cheese if he doesn't like what I serve. On the up side, he does put up with me too.
This certainly brought back memories. I was pregnant with my fifth child. As usual my hormones were running amok. I finaly asked my husband how could he take my mood swings. I couldn't stand myself. Answer?
"You put up with mine, I put up with yours. And yours only last nine months."
After that I did try to control my hormones.
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Old 01-26-2012, 10:15 PM   #58
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This certainly brought back memories. I was pregnant with my fifth child. As usual my hormones were running amok. I finaly asked my husband how could he take my mood swings. I couldn't stand myself. Answer?
"You put up with mine, I put up with yours. And yours only last nine months."
After that I did try to control my hormones.
Long-standing joke in my life...3 weeks a month I loved Shrek, for one week I hated him (I'm sure you undertstand why). I used to joke that when I hit menopause, at least my hormones would level out...it did, they did and without medications...I hate him all the time. It's how I knew I had a problem and needed medical help, I was definitely NOT myself.
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Old 01-26-2012, 10:26 PM   #59
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Long-standing joke in my life...3 weeks a month I loved Shrek, for one week I hated him (I'm sure you undertstand why). I used to joke that when I hit menopause, at least my hormones would level out...it did, they did and without medications...I hate him all the time. It's how I knew I had a problem and needed medical help, I was definitely NOT myself.
I have to laugh. I, too, did it without medical help, and felt like I was being that word that insults my female dogs. My husband simply said, "hey, when I was a kid my mom went through it. No one explained what the hel- was going on to me. You are doing just fine." To this day, he says I was easy compared to his mom. And for that matter, mine. One time I was wondering why my mother was acting so bizarre. Jer took me aside and asked me, didn't I know? My mother was going through menopause! Huh? Duh? Am I an idiot or what?
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Old 01-26-2012, 10:31 PM   #60
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For both of you. My girlfriend just says there is a little girl inside of her playing with matches. Her daughter just stands there waiting for the little girl to blow the matches out.
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