What to Wear Etiquette

[Alix]

Things used to be cut and dried as far as what to wear to a funeral or wedding etc. Used to be that you didn't wear anything sleeveless etc etc. So, help me out here please. I'm going to a funeral today. (Friend's Mom passed away on Friday) Am I supposed to wear black or not? I was thinking a black sweater and tan pants, but I could go with a black dress if that is better. Help?

 

[kadesma]

Things used to be cut and dried as far as what to wear to a funeral or wedding etc. Used to be that you didn't wear anything sleeveless etc etc. So, help me out here please. I'm going to a funeral today. (Friend's Mom passed away on Friday) Am I supposed to wear black or not? I was thinking a black sweater and tan pants, but I could go with a black dress if that is better. Help?

Alix,
when I was in my twenty's you wore black, period. Now just about anything goes. My feelings are subtle colors, not flasy or to bright, tan's, greys, , partial black,navy, soft colors not sassy..Your black and tan will be fine. Remember it's not thecloths you wear, it's the fact that you took the time to be there, to show that you care...I don't remember what anyone wore to my mom's service..It just wasn't important..The familiar caring faces is all we see anyway and that's what counts.
kadesma

 

[Alix]

Thanks kadesma, I don't remember what anyone wore to Dad's memorial either, except for my Mom. She wore Dad's favorite outfit which happened to be a gorgeous ruby colour.

Its so tough for me these days. I have been trying to put more colour into my wardrobe and so now I find I have few things that are appropriate for this type of occasion.

 

[PA Baker]

I'm with kads. I think anything muted or neutral in color is fine. Slacks and a top or sweater would be good--there's no need to wear a dress or skirt.

 

[kadesma]

Alix,
deep red is okay in my eyes, besides, right now it's so cold that you will have a coat or jacket on..You will be fine what ever you pick.Don't worry, just be you.
kadesma

 

[boufa06]

Alix, your tan pants and sweater is fine IMO. For such a sombre occasion, it's usually wise to wear muted colours. This is always the norm here for funerals.

 

[CharlieD]

Whatever you wear will be better that what I saw the other day at the funeral. The cut out on that thing was so low and so big that you need very little imagination what does breast of that woman look like. And then it was so short that it berely come under it anyway. the pants were so low that g-string did not fit inside them, well, you get the picture it was terible. i can't even talk about, it made me so upset, people are just rude. Sorry.

 

[kitchenelf]

I think kadesma gave great advice. When a friend of mine passed away ages ago all of us girls (a group of us hung together) said we would NOT wear black.

Whatever you wear will be fine as you are already blessed with the common sense that the girl CharlieD witnessed had none of!

 

[ironchef]

I think that for most any occasion/event, when in doubt, wear black.

 

[licia]

My thought is something in good taste is always correct. I hate to see someone wear something definitely disrespectful to any occasion, but that happens a lot these days. I'm sure what you described will be fine.

 

[Alix]

Thanks everyone. I ended up wearing navy and tan as I felt the sweater was not my best bet. As it turned out I was a bit chilly so I should have worn it. Oh well. I'm hopeful that is my last funeral for a while so I won't have the clothing dilemma again. Thanks for all the responses, they were much appreciated.

 

[licia]

I probably dress too conservatively most of the time, but I like to have in my closets something I could wear anywhere (well, not to the White House maybe). I hate having to buy something for a special occasion so try to think when I shop how many different places an outfit could be worn. I always feel better in something I've worn several times so it makes me a lot more comfortable with the circumstances.

 

[Alix]

I tend to be conservative too licia. Where I work, we have to abide by the same dress code as the kids so I purchase my wardrobe with that in mind. I have been trying to add colour to my wardrobe and am succeeding, but do you have any idea how hard it is to find shirts that are colourful but don't ride up to show your belly when you raise your hands over your head? Or something not too low cut?

 

[kadesma]

Alix,
same problem here, while I'm a tan and black nut, My favorite color is chocolate brown, my kids have given up with most colors, but have finally gotten me into a red cashmere turtleneck sweat and I do like it, but my first instinct is to reach for the black or the brown. I suppose it's leftover from childhood, when my aunt would take me to San Francisco and quietly point out the way to "dress" So, I am very traditional and conservative, my kids say I always look just right, but geez, mom could ya please maybe have a piece of lint or a hem not so even But, back to color and things to fit and proper for your age..Heck I'm not 20 anymore and everystore here where I live cater to the teens and 20 somethings..I refuse to wear those so do much of my shopping in San Francisco or Sacramento at least I can find something for the Ma's there

kadesma