"Discover Cooking, Discuss Life."

Go Back   Discuss Cooking - Cooking Forums > The Back Porch > Off Topic Discussions
Click Here to Login
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
 
Old 02-15-2008, 05:27 PM   #1
Master Chef
 
texasgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: North Texas
Posts: 9,497
Why do we??

Why…

Do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are going dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you try on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That hurt, you stupid idiot?'

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE....

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your threebest friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

__________________

texasgirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2008, 05:31 PM   #2
Chef Extraordinaire
 
kitchenelf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 19,725
Send a message via MSN to kitchenelf
__________________

__________________
kitchenelf

"Count yourself...you ain't so many" - quote from Buck's Daddy
kitchenelf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2008, 05:40 PM   #3
Sous Chef
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Missouri
Posts: 588
LOL.... Thanks 'texasgirl'. I needed that today!
DietitianInTraining is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2008, 05:43 PM   #4
Chef Extraordinaire
 
pacanis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: NW PA
Posts: 18,751
There's some very good ones there!
But the ape one has me thinking.....
__________________
Give us this day our daily bacon.
pacanis is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2008, 06:02 PM   #5
Master Chef
 
texasgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: North Texas
Posts: 9,497
I had to share this one. I was laughing so hard!!
texasgirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2008, 06:29 PM   #6
Chef Extraordinaire
 
Uncle Bob's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Small Town Mississippi
Posts: 17,514
Funny Girl...........
__________________
There is only one Quality worse than Hardness of Heart, and that is Softness of Head.

Kool-Aid...Think Before You Drink
Uncle Bob is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2008, 06:40 PM   #7
Master Chef
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: upper midwest
Posts: 5,333
I have to add one more. "Why do we always get in the wrong line at checkouts or the bank". Or is it just me? You get in the short lane and you are still standing there when everyone in the long line is gone.
__________________
A balanced diet is a Cookie in each hand.
JoAnn L. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2008, 07:48 PM   #8
Master Chef
 
texasgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: North Texas
Posts: 9,497
Quote:
Originally Posted by JoAnn L. View Post
I have to add one more. "Why do we always get in the wrong line at checkouts or the bank". Or is it just me? You get in the short lane and you are still standing there when everyone in the long line is gone.
YES!!!
texasgirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2008, 08:05 PM   #9
Hospitality Queen
 
jkath's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Southern California
Posts: 11,448
I love those! Thanks for the Friday afternoon giggle, texasgirl!
__________________
Come visit my foodie blog: www.SockmonkeysKitchen.com
This week's topic: Pinterest and Potatoes
jkath is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2008, 09:14 PM   #10
Everymom
 
Alix's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Edmonton, Alberta
Posts: 23,223
Oh NICE! Thanks for the giggles.
__________________
You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. Robin Williams
Alix
Alix is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2008, 10:54 PM   #11
Sous Chef
 
radhuni's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Calcutta, India
Posts: 958
radhuni is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-16-2008, 12:51 AM   #12
Head Chef
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Des Moines Iowa
Posts: 1,213
completely out of hand
__________________
Cook with passion or don't cook at all
Dave Hutchins is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-16-2008, 03:03 AM   #13
Head Chef
 
auntdot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,418
Great list. We recently got a pellet stove and now try to keep the house at a temp that we would consider too warm in the summer.

I wondered why we do that. Maybe it is because in the winter we have experienced true cold and take comfort from warmth perhaps even going to a bit of excess, to reassure ourselves that we will not soon be that cold.

And flip the rational for the summer months.

But heck if I know.

All I know about psychology is what I learned in Psych 101, and that was taught by someone whom we believed should have been teaching in a straight jacket.

But the list is great. Needed a chuckle, thanks a lot.
__________________
Before criticizing a person, walk a mile in his shoes - then you are a mile away and you have his shoes!
auntdot is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-16-2008, 04:26 AM   #14
Executive Chef
 
miniman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Basingstoke, England
Posts: 4,687
Brilliant list - gave a smile to start the day.
miniman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-16-2008, 05:21 AM   #15
Senior Cook
 
DrThunder88's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Metro Detroit
Posts: 473
Funny stuff! I have often wondered that about mattress sales...and furniture. I figure if there ever was such a day, they'd celebrate it by having a sale.

Quote:
Originally Posted by pacanis View Post
There's some very good ones there!
But the ape one has me thinking.....
Same here. Specifically I thought, "People actually think that's what the theory of human evolution states?'"
__________________

DrThunder88 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off





Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:02 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 4
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
×