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Old 10-24-2012, 03:18 PM   #1
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Why men are happier..........


Men Are Just Happier People --
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack...
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you,
He or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough..
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives
On December 24 in 25 minutes.

Men Are Just Happier People
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and WWWildman


When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.


A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.


A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.


A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.


A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.


A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.


Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.


Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.


A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

"A great deal of intelligence can be invested in ignorance when the need for illusion is deep." - Saul Bellow


Walk with the person who's searching for truth........ run from the person who says they've found it !
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Old 10-24-2012, 07:56 PM   #2
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May you live as long as you wish and love as long as you live.
Robert A. Heinlein
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Old 10-24-2012, 08:05 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by taxlady View Post
"Variety is not just the spice of life, it is the key to life" - Chef Michael Smith

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Old 10-24-2012, 08:10 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by LPBeier

She who dies with the most toys, wins.
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Old 10-24-2012, 09:22 PM   #5
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Stereotyping at it's best. :)
No matter where I serve my guests, it seems they like my kitchen best!
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Old 10-24-2012, 11:37 PM   #6
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All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt
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Old 10-25-2012, 09:29 AM   #7
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LOL! Very good and most are true but not all. My husband asks me to open jars :p And I don't paint my face, I leave the colouring for my kids!
"I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass."

"I hear voices and they don't like you "
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Old 11-01-2012, 11:18 PM   #8
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The eating out thing really cracked me up. When I was gainfully employed, women's lunches out were the bane of my existence. The gals would fracture in ever friggin' dime between the ice tea and the cola, the dime difference between a salad and a sandwich, even two cents would be a subject for debate. Luckily I worked almost always with men and they'd divide the bill, everyone would pay, and we'd move on. If someone paid a dollar more, they didn't bitch about it, or, even easier, when we'd get back to the office, hand the person who over-paid a dollar rather than spend a half-hour over it in the restaurant. Luckily, in my new life, we just don't go places than won't do separate checks!
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Old 11-02-2012, 04:59 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by Snip 13 View Post
LOL! Very good and most are true but not all. My husband asks me to open jars :p
You are one tough cookie Snip

All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt
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