"Discover Cooking, Discuss Life."

Go Back   Discuss Cooking - Cooking Forums > The Back Porch > Off Topic Discussions
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
 
Old 12-21-2005, 03:35 PM   #1
Chef Extraordinaire
 
pdswife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Washington
Posts: 20,308
Send a message via AIM to pdswife Send a message via MSN to pdswife Send a message via Yahoo to pdswife
Why? WHY? WHY?

Why, Why, Why

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.:smi le:

__________________

__________________
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on. Robert Frost
pdswife is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-21-2005, 03:42 PM   #2
Master Chef
 
texasgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: North Texas
Posts: 9,497
WHY WHY WHY... is all of this so true??

LOL, love them all!!
__________________

__________________
texasgirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-21-2005, 04:04 PM   #3
Sous Chef
 
Raven's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Little Rock, Arkansas, USA
Posts: 554
LOL!! Cute!!

This makes me wonder words like Illiteracy and Dislexia are so darned hard to spell?

Why are there commercials for literacy which use letters for numbers? (Can't read? Dial 1-800-ABC-DEFG) AS IF EVEN AN ENGLISH PROFESSOR CAN DO THIS!!

For that matter, who's the Einstien at the phone company who came up with the idea to put the letters ABC on the number 2??

Still, one of my favorites is the little recorded voice that comes on when you've left the phone off the rest. "If you need help, hang up and dial the operator". If I could have dialed the freakin phone I would have rung up 911! I want a voice activated dialer. Somehow laying on the floor screaming "God help me" into an annoying busy signal just don't seem cut it.


~ Raven ~
__________________
Mike's Vet and Taxidermy - Either way you get your dog back.

A great nation is not built in a lifetime, but in the lifetimes of many. - Support our troops.
Raven is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-21-2005, 04:09 PM   #4
Executive Chef
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 4,677
Why! Why! Why!

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
__________________
wasabi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-21-2005, 04:35 PM   #5
Chef Extraordinaire
 
mudbug's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: NoVA, beyond the Beltway
Posts: 11,166
why are there Braille signs at the drive-up windows?
__________________
Kool Aid - Think before you drink.
mudbug is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-21-2005, 04:39 PM   #6
Chef Extraordinaire
 
kadesma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: california
Posts: 21,373
whoa nelly, I needed a good laugh today Thanks Pds

kadesma, the Mall was only for those with a death wish today...UGH
__________________
HEAVEN is Cade, Ethan,Carson, and Olivia,Alyssa,Gianna
kadesma is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-21-2005, 07:47 PM   #7
Senior Cook
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Tarrant County, TX
Posts: 175
Why do us left-handers have to live in your right-handed world, paying extra for most items exept for a tollbooth, which is naturally built for a left-hander automatically?
__________________
TXguy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-21-2005, 08:21 PM   #8
Chef Extraordinaire
 
pdswife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Washington
Posts: 20,308
Send a message via AIM to pdswife Send a message via MSN to pdswife Send a message via Yahoo to pdswife
that's a very good question TX. Paul, David and I are all left handers living in a right hand world.
__________________
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on. Robert Frost
pdswife is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-21-2005, 11:29 PM   #9
Head Chef
 
KAYLINDA's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: CHERRYVALE, KANSAS
Posts: 1,313
So cute! Here's mine...(Barbara...do you know?) Why is W the only letter in the alphabet with more than one syllable?
__________________
KAYLINDA
You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you can't close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.
KAYLINDA is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-21-2005, 11:32 PM   #10
Traveling Welcome Wagon
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Somewhere, US
Posts: 15,919
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raven
This makes me wonder words like Illiteracy and Dislexia are so darned hard to spell?
Did you hear about the dyslexic insomniac agnostic? He stayed up all night wondering if there is a dog.

Barbara
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	dyslexics1.jpg
Views:	116
Size:	22.5 KB
ID:	768  
__________________

__________________
Barbara L is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



» Discuss Cooking on Facebook

Our Communities

Our communities encompass many different hobbies and interests, but each one is built on friendly, intelligent membership.

» More about our Communities

Automotive Communities

Our Automotive communities encompass many different makes and models. From U.S. domestics to European Saloons.

» More about our Automotive Communities

Marine Communities

Our Marine websites focus on Cruising and Sailing Vessels, including forums and the largest cruising Wiki project on the web today.

» More about our Marine Communities


Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:09 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 4
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.