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Old 08-16-2005, 11:00 PM   #11
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I need ways to show her I care. Asking her to lunch dont cut it. I need a way to show her I care BUT a way I can safely DO it. Dont want to look like a stalker. But a fun way to make her smile....... safely! I want to keep my job but grab her heart.
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Old 08-16-2005, 11:00 PM   #12
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Be her friend Sushi. If things are supposed to go farther then that they will. Friendship is the best part of a lasting relationship.
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Old 08-16-2005, 11:05 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by -DEADLY SUSHI-
I need ways to show her I care. Asking her to lunch dont cut it. I need a way to show her I care BUT a way I can safely DO it. Dont want to look like a stalker. But a fun way to make her smile....... safely! I want to keep my job but grab her heart.
You can't let her know while trying to make it look like you're just a co-worker. Mixed signals and misunderstandings.

I would definitely have a chat away from work. On the job stuff would be awkward and problematic. Away from the job and you are both protected.

A couple of quotations that have stood the test of time come to mind:

"Faint heart never won fair lady."

"Of all sad words of mouth or pen, the saddest ones, 'It might have been'".
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Old 08-17-2005, 06:33 AM   #14
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She may have no idea you like her in "that way", I was always completely clueless that a guy liked me even when people told me it was obvious! (low self esteem is a wonderful thing!)
I wonder if she is still at that dating bastards age where you don't want a nice guy you go out with goodlooking jerks who treat you badly. You would be appreciated by an older woman (than 23 not necessarily than you) who realises that nice guys are the way to go and you deserve to be with someone who treats you right.
I think you need to let her know how you feel but away from work and in a way that won't make it awkward if she isn't interested. Perhaps having you treat her well will make her realise what a jerk the boyfriend is but don't count on it, some of us don't realise until after the wedding!
You have nothing to lose here except to feel bad in the short term, will it matter in 10 years time if she rejects you? NO. So go for it. And post all the details I love living vicariously!!!
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Old 08-17-2005, 06:38 PM   #15
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Thanks for the idea guys! I will try to get the guts to be more direct with her.
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Old 08-17-2005, 06:49 PM   #16
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DS,

What would she think if she read what you just wrote?
Would that start her thinking that her stripper isn't the man she wants?
You are so much better than that! He may have more money but money isn't what real love is all about.
Gamma
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Old 08-17-2005, 06:57 PM   #17
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Dude, you gotta give it to her straight! Don't try to be just a "friend" or you'll end up being just that, and only that. I know, I have done that WAY too many times! I have so many female friends who love me like their big brother. Now ladies, don't get all up-in-arms about this. There's nothing wrong with having great female friends, but it's a big, empty bed when there's no one there to cuddle up to! Chin up and lay your cards on the table...worst-case is she says she's not into you like that and she marries the chump. Better to have vocalized your feelings BEFORE the wedding. And remember, your stock is rising with age!
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Old 08-17-2005, 07:06 PM   #18
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How 'engaged' is she? Do they have a date or just an agreement? I would spend a lot of time being a 'friend' - - making sure she's not jumping into anything she's not sure of... Then, assuming she's really NOT sure and really NOT interested in pursuing a long-term thing with the other guy, you need to (as a friend) let her know it's not fair to HIM to let him think he still has a chance.

You can still flirt and, in subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways, let her know that you're there for her and that she deserves to be "happy"... not settling for someone she's not happy with just because it's already come this far....
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Old 08-17-2005, 07:34 PM   #19
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Make some romantic gestures like how about sending her some flowers? Use the card somehow be over the top (marry ME) or not.... (from your secret admirer but make sure she sees your face and your knowing smile). Oh this is so romantic!
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Old 08-17-2005, 07:51 PM   #20
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Sushi,
Try getting a single rose and copying and pasting alot of what you wrote turn it to more of a poem and transfer it to some pretty stationary and put it on her desk early in the morning or late in the afternoon when noone will see you. Don't put your name, if you don't want to. Do something like this everyday, put a small chocolate kiss or some other little candie on her desk.
If you really like this girl and are willing to go far enough to get her, then, she must see how much you care and would be worth going with it and see how it works out.
No matter what you decide to do, I hope it all comes out for you.
Good Luck, don't let her get away!!
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