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Old 08-17-2005, 11:02 PM   #21
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i hesitate to say anything since i'm not at all an expert on relationships. i'm married now to a great guy by the grace of God - not 'cause i know what i'm doing (). but...sush, i really like the advice from AndyM and texasgirl. It's honest, romantic and rings true. If it's meant to be, it will work - if it's not the right thing, you don't want it anyway! be true to yourself above all else!
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Old 08-18-2005, 12:22 AM   #22
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Seems to me...A girl who dates/is engaged to a man who takes his clothes off and wiggles his willie in ladies' faces doesn't think much of women and tends to attract women with low self esteem who are willing to be abused. I agree that she may still be in the "dating bastards" stage and may not be ready for quality, like our Sushi. Women in that stage love to have a sweet guy to confide in and be a buddy, but probably don't see the really good catches, like you, Sush, as a possibility.

I could be wrong, but I don't want you to be let down. I do agree that you need to know if they have a date set or if this guy is just using her without a commitment. Is she wearing a diamond? If there's no date and no diamond, then there's no reason why you shouldn't invite her out to coffee or send her little things over e-mail that make you both laugh, or have heart to heart talks with her about your ambitions, hopes and dreams, and keep the channels open as much as possible. Don't be needy or over-attentive, though. Keep some mystery in the friendship. Make her wonder if you're seeing someone. Be too busy to talk sometimes; don't be available all the time. See if she approaches you and becomes more interested. Be a busy guy with lots of irons in the fire and a lot on the ball...(Terrible metaphors...Sorry!)

Hugs, Sush. You're the best!
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Old 08-18-2005, 01:21 AM   #23
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Sushi, here's my 2 cents' worth:
Most 23 year old girls (and notice I'm calling her a girl, not a woman) as a rule can be pretty shallow. Flirting is a self-esteem boosting game to them, as a rule. Looks are everything to her, and being able to say that the stripper is her fiance is very exciting and appealing, and makes her feel quite important to her friends. If she doesn't have both a date and a ring, she is not engaged. And, until she says her "I dos", she is free to date whomever she pleases.
With that said, here's my advice. If I were 23 and had a man interested in me, I'd probably have no clue. Why? Because the man never said anything. Girls are not psychic.

I'd just be bold and daring (which I know for a fact that you are), and email her a link to this thread. Your words were raw, and not thought out to the point of superficiality. Your feelings are real. Send them her way. If she is interested, she'll take a step. If not, you'll know, and you can get on with your dating life.

I'm rooting for you!
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Old 08-18-2005, 01:32 AM   #24
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Sushi,

You have gotten some really good advice about what to do, and I have nothing to add to it. I will give you a little advice about what not to do though. Under no circumstances say anything negative about the stripper to her--even if she says all kinds of bad things about him herself. If you do that, her defenses will suddenly come out and she will defend him and be mad at you. Does that make sense? Of course not. But that is what women do! You don't have to say anything nice about him either--just don't talk about him.

Barbara
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Old 08-18-2005, 09:07 PM   #25
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VERY good advice! Thanks everyone!!!!


Ever hear of candy thats called Fun Dip?
Well she mentioned she liked them last week. I NEVER heard of them. ANd I told her if one of the owners KNEW what it was, I would go out and get her one.
Well..... the owner KNEW what they were. So I went out and got her one.

Today, I got 4 of them and stuffed them in an envelope with a cute note and put it in her mailbox.

Later, via Email, I told her "I like her" and that she makes me laugh and that I admide her intelligence (which I do). She DOES make me laugh! ANYWAYYYYYYYS.......
I also noted that she is "FunDip in a sea of tastless skittles".

*banging head on desk* Lord Im stupid.
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Old 08-18-2005, 09:17 PM   #26
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Oh yum. I love Fun Dips. We call em Lik M Aid too.
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Old 08-18-2005, 10:28 PM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by -DEADLY SUSHI-
VERY good advice! Thanks everyone!!!!


Ever hear of candy thats called Fun Dip?
Well she mentioned she liked them last week. I NEVER heard of them. ANd I told her if one of the owners KNEW what it was, I would go out and get her one.
Well..... the owner KNEW what they were. So I went out and got her one.

Today, I got 4 of them and stuffed them in an envelope with a cute note and put it in her mailbox.

Later, via Email, I told her "I like her" and that she makes me laugh and that I admide her intelligence (which I do). She DOES make me laugh! ANYWAYYYYYYYS.......
I also noted that she is "FunDip in a sea of tastless skittles".

*banging head on desk* Lord Im stupid.

Doesn't sound stupid to me. It sounds like a very sweet thing to do.
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Old 08-18-2005, 10:36 PM   #28
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I want her to laugh.... I want her to know she really IS different. She retorted with "ha! how long did you have to think that one up?" I said well I could have said "youre eyes are where the summer lies, in pools of quiet fire. But I would be stealing that from a Robert Plant CD". LOL!
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Old 08-19-2005, 12:03 AM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Andy M.
A couple of quotations that have stood the test of time come to mind:

"Faint heart never won fair lady."

"Of all sad words of mouth or pen, the saddest ones, 'It might have been'".
And another quote I love:

There is someone for everyone...even if it takes a pic ax, a compass, and night goggles to find them.

Good luck sush
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Old 08-19-2005, 12:07 AM   #30
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Cute notes and quoting song lyrics.

You need to be direct. Otherwise she's not going to get it.
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