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Old 01-23-2006, 12:15 AM   #1
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Words of wisdom

Got this in an e mail and thought I'd pass it on...
Words of Wisdom to Ponder

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.

3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.

4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.

12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.

13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy fridge.

24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

25. It ain't the jeans that make your bum look fat

26. If you had to identify, in 1 word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, & never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

27. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

28. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

29. You should not confuse your career with your life.

30. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

31. Never lick a steak knife

32. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

33. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

34. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

35. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

36. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

37. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

38. Your friends love you anyway.

39. Thought for the day: Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.


"There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One of these is roots, the other, wings." http://aidancallum.blogspot.com/
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Old 01-23-2006, 01:11 AM   #2
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Thou shalt not weigh more than thy fridge.
Too late.

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Old 01-23-2006, 01:25 AM   #3
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lol! These are great!
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on. Robert Frost
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Old 01-23-2006, 07:54 AM   #4
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That is awesome Cora, thank-you!!!

"The most indispensable ingredient of all good home cooking: love, for those you are cooking for" ~ Sophia Loren
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Old 01-23-2006, 10:34 PM   #5
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HEHEHE Thats Funny !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Here's one: When Making Snow Ice Cream, Never Take the Lemon Flavored ................... "MIKIE WILL EAT IT, He WILL EAT ANYTHING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
If you need a smile, take mine, I'll make a new one.
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Old 01-23-2006, 10:53 PM   #6
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I love this - these are my mottos! Thank you!
Cooking is like love, it should be entered into with abandon or not at all. Oregon native transplanted to Chicago....
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Old 01-24-2006, 01:42 AM   #7
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#15 and #16....yes!
Come visit my foodie blog: www.SockmonkeysKitchen.com
This week's topic: Pinterest and Potatoes
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Old 01-24-2006, 02:07 AM   #8
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#'s 5, 7, 8, 12, 20, and 21 pretty much define my life.
in nomine patri, et fili, et spiritus sancti.
beidh ar la linn.
wisdom is often in short supply within ones' ego.
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Old 01-24-2006, 06:53 AM   #9
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#22 is so true in this house lol
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Old 01-24-2006, 04:40 PM   #10
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#8 and #13 are the ones I preach constantly to anyone who will listen. And #37 is indeed very important.

Kool Aid - Think before you drink.
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