Writing a screenplay... help on food-oriented dialogue.

[foodisfood]

This is probably a bit different from this stuff normally posted on here, but I thought I'd give it a shot. I have a scene in the film I wrote (now on draft #3) and there is a scene where all of the characters go to a restaurant while visiting a friend in a new place. Basically, I feel dialogue is my weak-point and could use some help from the experts of food on this one. Is it realistic? What could I add to the argument to make it easier for people to relate to it.

THANKS A LOT to whoever takes the time to read...

*WARNING* There is mild language which I have ****ed out. If anyone has an issue I will remove it.

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CUT to a MCU of Nick picking up the hamburger and putting it to his mouth. He stops and looks up ahead of him.

NICK​

What?
​

CUT to a MCU of Steve looking at him, shaking his head.

STEVE
I can’t believe you got a hamburger. ​

That is blasphemy in these parts!
​

NICK​

Sorry, I’m just not a breakfast person.
​

CUT to LS of the whole table.

Nick​

Hey Jay, can you pass me the ketchup?
​

Jason grabs the ketchup from against the wall and passes it to Nick. Steve intersects the pass and grabs the ketchup.

STEVE
Hold on hold on. Let me just make this​

point. Am I wrong guys? When you go to​

visit someone in a new place and they​

take you out somewhere to eat, is it​

not an unwritten law that you should​

get what the recommend to you? To me​

it’s just plain rude. Trevor, back me​

up on this one.

​

CUT to MS on Trevor who is choking down the bite of food in his mouth.

TREVOR​

(still chewing)​

Yeah, man. It’s like when you invite​

someone to come over your house to watch​

a movie and you have something you really​

love picked out and they tell you they’d​

rather watch something else, even though​

they haven’t seen it yet. You make a​

recommendation to them because you think​

they will love it, and then they shoot​

it down before they even give it a chance​

it is the same thing as saying, “Hey man,​

I don’t trust your judgment enough to even​

give it a shot.” Just plain insulting.


​

CUT to WS of the group.

BRIAN
Oh that’s bull**** man, it’s completely​

different than a movie. When it comes​

to food, no one knows you better than you​

know yourself. They can recommend some​

broccoli dish to you all they want, but​

in the end you still hate broccoli, even​

if it is smothered in cheese.
​

JASON​

Brian does have a point.

​

CUT to MS of Trevor and Steve.

STEVE
Jason, I’ll k*ll you. Shush.​

No. Seriously. Everyone likes​

breakfast. No one likes broccoli.​

Don’t act like that’s not true.
​

NICK​

I like broccoli.
​

TREVOR
Bull****. Broccoli smells like a​

rotten foot and if you put cheese​

on it, it just tastes and smells​

like a soggy rotten foot. The fact​

is that it’s disrespectful when​

someone takes you out to eat at​

their home and you refuse to consider​

their recommendation.
​

CUT to MS of Brian and Jason. Brian throws up his hands in disagreement.

BRIAN​

Just drop it man. Whatever. Give the​

poor kid his ketchup and let him​

eat his hamburger.
​

Steve looks at Nick.

STEVE
Sorry man. Here, enjoy your d***ed​

hamburger.
​

_______________________________________

<3 Steven J.

 

[QSis]

Steven, it sounds like a conversation that guys would have anywhere, just to bust them on each other, if for no other reason. Rings true to me, anyway.

A couple of comments: First, I think the conversation would happen when Nick ORDERED the burger, not when he was about to take a bite. I would think the friends would express their outrage THEN.

Also, I think Steve should emphasize the point that this is a BREAKFAST place that is famous for having the best breakfasts on the east coast (or something like that). Then when Nick says that he's "just not a breakfast person", we really understand why Steve is annoyed.

Good luck!

Lee