Our hero, the ever-popular Sally Drake, who usually sold seashells on the seashore, climbed into her snail-driven chariot and rushed to the next destination shown on the map. The wind blowing her hair forward was indicative of the chariot's speed, or lack thereof. But nevertheless, she led the search for the elusive treasure.
"C'mon Fred!" she cried. For in the distance behind her, she saw the cloud of dust kicked up by her arch-rival, William Von-Porcupine. Von-Porcupine, like herself, sought the sublime treasure that awaited the quest winner; and his squirrel driven wagon was so much faster than her chariot.
"Fred, let's extrapolate a little. Now old porky up there can maintain his top speed of 150 feet per minute for about three minutes before his squirrel starts huffing and puffing. He's about a hundred feet ahead of us and we're on the last leg of the quest. But we've three miles to go. Hmmm, If I figure right, that's a little over 15000 feet. His squirrel needs to rest every three minutes, for about two minutes. So he's in fact, traveling at about 450 feet for every five minutes.
You cover the ground at three feet per minute, but never tire. At your rate of speed, in that same five minutes, we travel fifteen feet. So, we need a thousand minutes to complete the journey. He needs, let me figure this out, thirty-three minutes to cover the same distance. I think we're going to have to break out the secret weapon...
Sally pulled the reins, stopping her steady steed, and dismounted the chariot. Walking to one side, she removed a skateboard that had been attached for just such a purpose. She had known that the last leg of the journey would be run across a plateau of granite, which would allow the wheeled board to be of use. With skateboard in hand, she briskly walked to the other side and opened a compartment that folded away from the chariot side, and removed a collapsible kite, along with a long cord.
"Fred, Let's give you a rest, and get some speed up. I think we have enough wind to make this work."
Sally placed the skateboard on the ground, parallel and beside the snail. She then toppled Fred to his side, no easy task considering that his shell weighed nearly two-hundred pounds. Then she kicked the board sideways, and with a gargantuan effort, managed to right the snail onto the board. She then attached one end of the sturdy cord to his yoke, and the other to the kite. The wind quickly lifted the silken kite into the air, tugging fiercely on snail's yolk as the impromptu sail flew before the it. Sally had barely enough time to close the compartment and climb once again into the chariot. But with a quick burst of speed, she managed.
"Now we're moving, Fred." she cried.
In a matter of moments, she percieved the distance between her and her adversary lengthen dramatically. Fred, he just enjoyed the ride.
The thousand minutes was shortened to 1 hour, with the aid of the wind-driven kite. Before the day was out, she had completed her journey. Sally pulled the kite from the sky and stored it in its compartment. She removed the skateboard from beneath Fred, and tied him to a nearby tree. For before her lay the treasure, a year's supply of Fine chocolate conffections from and estraordinary New York chocolatier.
Another hour saw her arch rival, the insidious William Von-Porcupine arrive at the treasure.
"Vell frauline,..." he said. "It seems you beat me to the treasure."
"That's right porky." she said as she popped a lucious blueberry-filled truffle into her mouth.
"But how did you get here so fast, and with just that snail?"
"Ah, you old scoundroll, that's my secret now, isn't it."
"Next time, frauline, next time..."
And with a shake of his fist, William Von-Pocupine auspiciously fled the scene, heading back the way he'd come, with a cloud of dust making the only testimony of his presence.
"Fred,..." inquired our hero, "...how are we gonna get all of this chocolate home?"
Before Sally could ponder the question for very long, a man dressed in a crimson tuxedo appeared, seemingly from nowhere and addressed her.
"Miss Sally Drake, you are the winner of fine chocolates from the owner and chocolatier of our fine company, and she has an offer for you. If you will agree to her terms, you will not only receive the fine chocolate that is already yours, but you will become the next owner and chocolatier of our company."
"But I don't know anything about making chocolates." answered Sally.
"Ah, but in successfuly completing this quest, you have shown great fortitude, and an uncanny ability to overcome many great challenges, using wit and wisdom. You have proven yourself worthy."
Sally thought for a moment, then inquired, "Can I bring Fred?"
"Yes child, you can bring Fred, and your imediate family, all to live in the cloud mansion, in the hidden mountain."
Sally could hardly contain her composure as she gleefully answered, "Then I accept the offer. I accept, I accept, I accept!"
"Sally." came her mother's voice from the bedroom doorway.
Sally awoke from a most wondrous dream. She stretched breifly and answered; "Mom, I had the most wonderful dream..." and she began to repeat the dream for her mother.
"Sally..." her mother interupted. "There is someone at the door to see you. He's dressed in a crimson tuxedo and says he has a business offer for you."
Sally's eys grew wide as she leaped out of her bed. She hurriedly threw on her robe and ran to the door. Before her stood the man from her dream; and he held before him a a box of chocolates...
Seeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North