personally, I like the ol' tried and true methods. :P
cuticle scissors also work for cutting grass,but one blade at a time. One might say a lawn cut this way by someone with an exacting eye may rival every lawn on the street, but its time vs quality that is to be questioned.
For melting chocolate...If its just faux chocolate melts(confectioners chocolate like wilton melts), I just microzap on 30% for a few minutes, stirring until the desired consistency. I then keep it warm on a heating tray used to keep food warm for serving. if I heat the tray up to full then cut the power to prevent overcooking the chocolate, I have a good hour of work time before the chocolate stiffens.
For REAL chocolate, the stovetop is the only way I'll do it, expecially when tempuring.
I can't see any faster ways. quite honestly, the heating pad idea could substitute my hot tray any day. infact, it may provide less heat and keep the confectioners chocolate workable longer! Wow. I think I have a new way to extend my work time for my lollies I make at christmas, taking far too much time painting in all the details with diferent colored confectioners chocolate.
Why don't I use real chocolate? I make lollies for the kids in my family, and save the good chocolate for larger pieces or my bonbons. confectioners chocolate is sweet and good tasting, and definately good enough to accompany my real chocolate bits. besides, kids aren't quite as big of critics as adults when it comes to candy. at least not by my experience.
Its easier to keep confectioners chocolate workable for longer periods of time that my artistic nature demands than real chocolate without ruining the texture.
I understand the original post was mostly made tounge in cheek, but I had to share. :P