"Discover Cooking, Discuss Life."

Go Back   Discuss Cooking - Cooking Forums > General Cooking Information > Cooking Resources > Terms & Techniques
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
 
Old 01-15-2007, 09:42 AM   #111
Head Chef
 
lulu's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: England
Posts: 2,039
I am reading this with great interest and a smile. I went to a very traditional English boarding school where strict table etiquette was demanded of us. We ate our fruit with a knife and fork and our asparagus with our fingers. My English family are also pretty old school about manners. BUT the huge overriding rule to good manners as I was taught them was that other peoples bad manners are the real test of good manners, at no time should one make anyone feel uncomfortable about being gauche. I try to adhere to good manners and correct etiquette - IMO they are different, if only slightly, and the former is more important! I live with someone who has innate good manners but was not brought up with "Victorian" etiquette (quotes are because I personally do not see them as Victorian, but its how they have been refered to here). We never clash though because most of the time good manners and correct etiquette correllate exactly. For example, my DH ALWAYS offers his seat on public transport to someone who looks like they need it more (whether because of age, infirmity or heel hieght!) but he once asked why I always stood up when certain people entered the room....he knew he should stand up for a woman, but was surprised that I stood up for women elder/same age-ish as myself. Its just an extention of showing acknowledgement of their being their and ofcourse makes it easier to shake hands or kiss. Never once have I left somewhere and said to DH, "did you notice he/she did not stand up to greet us", it would not bother me if they did not, but I always will!

In reality, I now eat my fruit with my hands and will happily munch pizza out of a box on the sofa in front of a movie and I merrily walk along the street eating - I can only immagine what one of my old teachers might say if they saw me. That does not mean if I ever have children they will not know "the rules", because I still feel they are important and I still use them, most of them, all day every day. Woe betide a son of mine who goes inside anywhere (bar where socially required) with his cap on!

Incidently, in Milan I notice that in a take away-eat on the hoof type pizza place they cut the slice of pizza into bite size pieces and its perfect! Also, much to my mother's horror I often do not wear stockings/tights anymore. The reason is practical, vertiginous open toed sandles and stockings are a leathal combination....I slip all over the place! Hence, closed toe shoes in winter.

Interesting to read other peoples opinions.
__________________

__________________
In omnibus amor et iustum
lulu is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2007, 10:33 AM   #112
Certified Pretend Chef
 
Andy M.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 41,375
...and this is what it looks like.
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	Place Setting Format Medium.jpg
Views:	154
Size:	93.9 KB
ID:	2354  
__________________

__________________
"If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe." -Carl Sagan
Andy M. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2007, 10:42 AM   #113
Master Chef
 
CharlieD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: USA,Minnesota
Posts: 8,394
Lulu, you remind me of an incident I had oh, about 2 or so years ago. The older women walked in the room and came to our group, who was seating in few chairs and nobody stood up. Well, I do not care about the "nobodies" but I have been embarrassed to even think about that situation, I could have never done that in my previous life. I don't know if it is life in America, where I am rarely in place where there is not enough chairs, or the fact that I do not use public transportation anymore. Whatever the reason I am still ashamed of my behavior.

Note to administarators: we need "embarassed" smilie here.
__________________
You are what you eat.
CharlieD is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 01-16-2007, 08:36 AM   #114
Chef Extraordinaire
 
buckytom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: My mountain
Posts: 18,739
charlie's post reminded me of another thing that bothers me. not food etiquette, but etiquette all the same. it's handshaking.

i don't mean x-on/x-off (he hee, a nerd joke. we need a nerd icon), but the act of shaking hands when greeting someone.

if you're a guy shaking another guy's hand, put some of that foream meat into it. i hate shaking hands when it feels like you've grabbed the hand of a dead person or lasagna noodle. you don't have to try to crush the other guy's hand, but do it like you mean it to show the respect you are inferring. and look them in the eyes. again, not like the cold stare of a maniac on a subway, but at least for those few seconds, be a man.

if your'e a woman and you're not the freakin' queen of a country, don't offer me you're hand like i'm supposed to bow and kiss you're knuckles. just a regular ol' handshake will do. you won't impress me either if you try to shake like a man. unless you can curl more than 60 lbs...

and no one should offer the left hand, unless you're right hand is broken, or you're on stage or are running for president.

anyway, getting back to charlie's post: when greeting someone, a man should always stand up, when meeting either a man or woman. again, it's about showing some respect.
__________________
in nomine patri, et fili, et spiritus sancti.


Meh nom eh noh...doot dooooo do do do.
buckytom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-16-2007, 08:59 AM   #115
Executive Chef
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: USA,Florida
Posts: 3,834
BT, I, too, believed that handshaking should be firm UNTIL I got arthritis and believe me, even a touch can sometimes make me wince. I have RA in my hands and even looking at them seems to hurt sometimes. Gratefully, most people are aware that this can be a problem and have changed, but some haven't and those people I have to avoid like the plague. And I have shaken hands with my left hand if my right hand was worse at the moment. It all depends on your own experience, I suppose.
__________________
Be an organ donor; give your heart to Jesus.
Exercise daily; walk with the Lord.
licia is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-16-2007, 09:30 AM   #116
Head Chef
 
Shunka's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: USA,Arizona
Posts: 1,023
licia, you bring up a good point that I was thinking of too. I also have painful arthritis in my hands. It has gotten where I have had to say that I would shake their hand but it is too painful. Most people understand and if they don't then that is they problem, IMO.
__________________
Polly aka Shunka....the Def Leppard crazy in AZ!!
Shunka is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-16-2007, 09:40 AM   #117
Master Chef
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Culpeper, VA
Posts: 5,806
I agree Licia. In fact, both "Miss Manners" &/or "Dear Abby"/"Ann Landers" brought this subject up several times in their columns in the past.

Many, many people wrote to them saying how mind-bendingly painful it was to be subjected to the handshakes of people (mostly men) who felt it necessary to exert the pressure of a vise for some reason or other.
__________________
BreezyCooking is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-16-2007, 09:42 AM   #118
Chef Extraordinaire
 
buckytom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: My mountain
Posts: 18,739
shunk and licia, sorry, i should have mentioned that of course there's exceptions if someone has physical problems with their arms or hands. i would have been more gentle with a woman in any case.
also, the exceptions apply to not being able to stand up easily, too.
__________________
in nomine patri, et fili, et spiritus sancti.


Meh nom eh noh...doot dooooo do do do.
buckytom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-16-2007, 09:54 AM   #119
Executive Chef
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: USA,Florida
Posts: 3,834
Thanks, BT. I can tell from reading your posts that you meant no harm. We used to have a pastor that barely brushed your hands when he shook them. I didn't understand it then, but knowing how painful handshaking can be, and realizing he came from a church that had a lot of older people in his congregation, could see that he was being very considerate. I love considerate people!
__________________
Be an organ donor; give your heart to Jesus.
Exercise daily; walk with the Lord.
licia is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-16-2007, 01:54 PM   #120
Head Chef
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Illinois/USA
Posts: 1,343
I have etiquette issues with people who serve the public. I refer to attendants (waiters,waitress,clerks) with their name tags.
We stopped at a full service restaurant late one evening to order dessert. (nothing fancy, pie cut and stored in a display case) "Patti" came to the table talking on her cell phone and wanted us to point out our order on the menu. I said "Patti is the peach cobbler good today?" She just scribbled down peach cobbler and left.
45 minutes later she came back with one bowl of peach cobbler. There were six people at our table. We were looking at someone's vacation pictures. We had been at a meeting earlier. "Patti can my friends have some too?" Patti says "what?" Then I said "it's getting late Patti; can we have six coffees to go? and box that cobbler, I'll take it with me."
20 minutes later Patti comes to our table and says "your order is at the cashier's stand." We stopped at the cashier stand and I paid for one serving of peach cobbler in a box.
We lol when we saw Patti flip open her cell phone and head off to another table to take an order. (Patti's age is about 30+)
__________________

__________________
StirBlue is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



» Discuss Cooking on Facebook

Our Communities

Our communities encompass many different hobbies and interests, but each one is built on friendly, intelligent membership.

» More about our Communities

Automotive Communities

Our Automotive communities encompass many different makes and models. From U.S. domestics to European Saloons.

» More about our Automotive Communities

Marine Communities

Our Marine websites focus on Cruising and Sailing Vessels, including forums and the largest cruising Wiki project on the web today.

» More about our Marine Communities


Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:09 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 4
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.