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Old 01-02-2007, 12:47 PM   #31
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Good manners need to be taught early on, IMO. But they should also include tact when around those who weren't so fortunate. I've watched people slurp soup all hunched over and have wanted to slap them, but I resisted the temptation. I also have a dear friend who thinks that the best way to eat pasta is to get as much on the fork as possible, get it into her mouth, and let any hanging strands just fall where they may. I will admit to staring a bit at such maneuvers.

To me, the biggest problem is the fact that fewer families find the time -- or the desire -- to eat together. When everybody's snacking, eating on the run, or watching TV while dining, table manners and etiquette are a moot point.

Hey, bucky, speaking of people reaching over and eating from your plate: I had a boss once that did that whenever we had lunch or dinner together. She was on a constant diet, so I guess she figured the food that she pilfered didn't "count." And maybe her hunger was the cause of her chewing while talking. In any case, I chose the tactful route, however, and said nothing, since I liked my job.
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Old 01-02-2007, 01:17 PM   #32
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lol suzyq. i guess you have to tolerate some stuff if it's your boss. i don't mind if my wife does it, and heck, i've eaten stuff that was covered with baby spit. but if someone else puts their fingers in my plate, they might not get some back. crunch!

we were raised with lots of rules around the dinner table, and now i'm glad my parents were strict about it. table manners comes easily to me so that i don't have to think about it. i often put a napkin on my lap until someone makes fun of me 'cause we're at a picnic or game. that never fails to impress people who care about stuff like that, tho.

if you're ever trying to impress a date's family, just go over the top with manners, and they'll be pushing her on you. mwahahahahaaaaa.

growing up, we always had to be on time, washed and dressed properly (no sleeveless shirts, no ripped or dirty pants, no hats, etc. ), and dad rode shotgun so no one spoke with mouths full of food or other bad table manners. we also had to excuse ourselves from the table when we were done, and bus our own dishes.

i plan to teach my son these things, as soon as i can get him to sit at table...lol.
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Old 01-02-2007, 01:18 PM   #33
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Vera, yes, everyone was very nice about handing the MIL a napkin, saying in a quiet way that she had BBQ sauce on her cheeks. She just thought it was funny; even when I quietly took her to a mirror. For some reason she still would not wipe her face or hands.
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Old 01-02-2007, 02:23 PM   #34
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After reading every post I guess I fall on the side of a more relaxed eating style. I don't think I've ever been around a totally ill-mannered eater, or if I was I just ignored it. I think manners should be taught to children. I also think that if we're sitting around our table at home things can be more relaxed - a LOT more relaxed. But like I said, maybe I've been lucky that I haven't been around someone who is extremely disrespectful at the dinner table. I've never been around someone who lets out a belch. I've only been around a few double-dippers but I mentioned in private that that probably wasn't a good thing to do and on top of that it was really gross - I've even had to explain WHY it was gross, which I found interesting. Once they knew they understood. This is where they should have been taught MUCH earlier why you don't do this! lol BUT, if it's just us at home double-dip away!!!!! But there again, we don't anyway unless we turn the chip or whatever to a part we have not bitten on - that we consider "just manners".

I don't really know how to explain what I want to say. A ball cap at home or at a deli-type restaurant doesn't bother me - but then again my son nor my husband EVER wears a ball cap so I've never had to witness it. I guess they probably put their elbows on the table - I don't know and I don't care - they are alive, well, and sitting with me - that's basically all I care about.

If we're at a fine-dining restaurant you better remember all those things you were taught! lol But I probably don't know myself every little aspect of proper eating etiquette according to some - but I know enough not to embarrass myself.

And IF I find myself invited to eat with a Queen, King, President, or such, I will buy a book and be fully armed!!!!! :-)

And I learned LOOOOOONG ago to not ever use a spoon while eating spaghetti. Use the side of your plate/bowl to twirl. I'm sure an Italian's friend mother taught me that one!
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Old 01-02-2007, 03:45 PM   #35
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The hat indoors thing really bothers me. I grew up in a home where you'd get your hat knocked off head if you wore it indoors.
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Old 01-02-2007, 04:44 PM   #36
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Andy M.
The hat indoors thing really bothers me. I grew up in a home where you'd get your hat knocked off head if you wore it indoors.
I guess I've been spared Andy M. My father, not one boyfriend, husband, nor son ever wore/wears a hat...and I had all sisters. I guess my statement is truly out of ignorance because I've never had to deal with it. I bet if I had to deal with it I'd have an opinion and a rule about it though!
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Old 01-02-2007, 05:18 PM   #37
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KE, it's not our generations that are the problem, it's a younger generation thing.
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Old 01-02-2007, 05:24 PM   #38
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Quote:
Originally Posted by licia
Did I say that?????????? What I meant was that someone who is so bent on the "correct procedure" for everything to the point of not having an enjoyable meal. No, I put my napkin on my lap and also keep my elbows off the table and hope others do also, but I would NEVER bring it to someone's attention or mention their manners in anyway (unless it was my child or grandchild who was in my care for a while). I believe in living by example and find myself not in a position to correct other adults. If they eat like pigs, I probably won't have them over again. Does this clarify my position? Am I forgiven?
I don't see how using proper table manners could make a meal any less enjoyable.
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Old 01-02-2007, 05:25 PM   #39
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Originally Posted by BreezyCooking
I completely agree AndyM.

And frankly, while I'm all for good table manners & teaching same to youngsters, I would rather eat worms & die than insult an adult family member or guest at my table by making them feel uncomfortable because their table manners didn't come up to "standards".

I consider food a celebration of life & an opportunity to bring friends & family together. Whether or not they put their elbows on the table or might have barbecue sauce on their lips doesn't enter into it for me.
Ah, but the very act of correcting someone's elses' behaviour (by word or deed) would be rude and boorish. It would never happen.
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Old 01-02-2007, 05:26 PM   #40
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Andy M.
KE, it's not our generations that are the problem, it's a younger generation thing.
I agree, Andy. And I'm pleased to report that, apparently, the lessons we taught our children were learned and stuck, because they are teaching their children similarly. Even our little 3-year-old grandson, Ian, says "Please" and "Thank You" and can conduct himself quite well when at table. Same for his 5-year-old cousin, Seth. Their fathers, our sons, also married ladies who were taught the value of manners and proper comportment. There's hope.
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