To the OP, if you are still struggling, I might be able to help you through with a different approach than the good ones already mentioned.
The one method I haven't seen mentioned yet, is cooking by "feel". As a general approximation, for a 1" steak you should plan on about 7-8 minutes per side for medium well. Remember this is an approximation.
- First, get your grill nice and hot somewhere in the 600-700 degree range. If you don't have a grill cover thermometer, you might want to invest in a solution.
-Second, season your steak with liberal salt and pepper. My preference is Diamond Crystal Kosher salt and fresh ground pepper...black and white mixed..make sure to work it into the meat, otherwise, it will just fall off.
- Third, as you have been told, you can brush a coat of butter or olive oil on the steak. I usually add roasted garlic, onion powder, and some Lea and Perrins Worcestershire Sauce to my butter..you can add whatever you want...that's the fun part in my opinion
- Fourth, as mentioned, limit your flipping to once per side. Once you become more comfortable and gain confidence, you can rotate the steak 75 degrees or so and get the nice "diamond" sear.
- Here is where I go down a different path, and it's how I cook. Test "or feel" for firmness. Steak will give you a lot of clues..firmness is a great one. All you need to do is poke (don't puncture) the center...tongs will even work.
Rules of thumb
Rare - Seared...Should feel "fleshlike", no rebound
Medium Rare - Seared...Fleshlike with a little rebound
Medium Seared - touch of firmness
Medium Well - Seared - little give
Well - Seared..no give
Baste with your butter sauce while over high heat. The meat will take in the flavor and excite some flare ups to give you a little more crust.
The key to get your "char" is a high heat. The key to tenderness is letting it rest for 5-8 minutes. Cooking on high heat causes the muscle tissue to go through a lot of stress.