A few jokes......
Two guys were discussing popular family trends on ***, marriage, and values.
>Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?"
>Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, What was her maiden name?"
>A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my
>intelligence come from?"
>The father replied. "Well son, you must have got it from your mother,
>cause I still have mine."
>"Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce court
>Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week."
>"That's very fair, your honor," the husband said. "And every now and
>then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."
>A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't like
>the looks of your wife at all."
>"Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a great cook and really
>good with the kids."
>An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has
>been living with for the last 40 years.
>The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that
>were used to put the curse on you."
>The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
>Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder
>1. All the DNA is the same.
>2. There are no dental records.
>A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll
>take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?"
>The agent replies, "Just a minute..."
>"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
>Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
>"How was he killed?" asked one detective.
>"With a golf gun," the other detective replied.
>"A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?"
>"I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."
>The investigation of Martha Stewart continues. Her recipe for chicken
>casserole is quite efficient. First you boil the chicken in water. And
>then you dump the stock.
>Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion."
>Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in ****."
>A man is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is
>"I'm O. K., but I didn't like the four letter-word the doctor used in
>surgery," he answered.
>"What did he say," asked the nurse.
>"OOPS!," he replied.
>While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of
>bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I
>had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice.
>"What do you think? " I asked. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?"
>"Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in one."
May I always be the person my dog thinks I am.
Walk towards the Sunshine and the Shadows will fall behind you!