a few more jokes for you
A new employee is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am. The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman from the assembly line throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire plant behind schedule. The Personnel Manager decides that he should see this for himself so the two men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Elmo's all over the floor and they're really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands the new employee. She has a roll of red plush fabric and a big bag of marbles. The men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to sew the little package between Elmo's legs. The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches the woman. "I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "I think you misunderstood me yesterday. Your job is to give each Elmo two test tickles."
A man is driving home after a late night shift. Feeling tired he decides to stop on the side of the road for a power nap.Just as he was about to fall asleep, he was jolted awake by a loud knock on the car door. A jogger is standing outside his window so he winds down the window and says "Can i help you?'. "What time is it?" replies the jogger. "Its 6.00am" answers the man grumpily. Just as he starts to nod-off again, he is woken yet again by a loud rapping on his window. He looks to find another jogger standing outside his car. "What time is it?" askes the jogger. "It's 6.30am" replies the man. Feeling a great desire to not be disturbed, he puts up a sign on the window saying I DON'T HAVE THE TIME. Just as he falls asleep he is woken yet again by another jogger. "WHAT!"he replies, furious. "I'ts 7.00am" confirms the jogger
a little italian boy goes to his mother 5 days before christmas and says "mommy, i want a sega genesis for christmas" and his mother says: "well, if you want a sega genesis then you go write a letter to baby jesus" so the boy goes up to his room and takes a note pad and writes: "Dear baby jesus, if u bring me a sega genesis then i will be good for 1 whole year..." "no no no no, i can not be good for a whole year..." so he tears up the paper and wites: "Dear baby jesus, if u bring me a sega genesis then i shall be good for 6-months..." "no no no no, i can not be good for 6-months" so he tears up the paper and looks at the statue of the virgin mary, takes it, puts it in his closet, locks he closet and begins to write: "Dear baby jesus, if u ever want to see ur mother again.
A husband and a wife were driving in the car one day after an argument when they drive past a farm with horses and cows and donkeys and pigs. The husband says to the wife, "relatives of yours?" "Yes," she says "inlaws
Sometimes, the solution to all life's problems is a good dessert.