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Old 08-16-2005, 10:53 PM   #1
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Talking A New Twist on the Creation Story....

...
In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the
Earth and populated the
Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach,
green and yellow and red
vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would
live long and healthy
lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben
and Jerry's Ice Cream and
Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want
chocolate with that?" And
Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as
you're at it, add some
sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan
smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman
might keep the figure that

Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white
flour from the wheat, and

sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman
went from size 6 to size
14.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan
presented Thousand
Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast
on the side. And Man
and
Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy
vegetables and olive oil in
which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep
fried fish and chicken
fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And
Man gained more weight
and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named
it "Angel Food Cake,"
and said, "It is good." Satan then created
chocolate cake and named it
"Devil's Food."

God then brought forth running shoes so that His
children might lose those

extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a
remote control so Man would
not have to toil changing the channels. And Man
and Woman laughed and
cried
before the flickering blue light and gained
pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low
in fat and brimming with
nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin
and sliced the starchy
center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man
gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume
fewer calories and still

satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's
and its 99-cent double
cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with
that?" And Man replied,
"Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is
good." And Man went
into
cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created HMOs.




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Old 08-16-2005, 10:59 PM   #2
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Hilarious! I just sent it to all my friends and family!
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Old 08-16-2005, 11:11 PM   #3
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lmao pds. good one
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Old 08-16-2005, 11:23 PM   #4
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Oh boy, you've done it again there girl

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Old 08-19-2005, 10:47 PM   #5
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Oh my sides hurt! Thank you! I can think of at least a dozen people to send this to!
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