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Old 04-11-2005, 06:00 PM   #1
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Baked Beans

Once upon a time there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked beans. She loved them but unfortunately they had always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her.
Then one day she meet a man and fell in live. When it became apparent that she would marry, She thought to herself, “Man he is such a sweet and gentle man. He would never go for this carrying on”. So she made a supreme sacrifice and gave up her beans.
Some months later her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she lived in the country, She called her husband and told him that she would be late because she had to walk home.
On her way she passed a small diner and the odor of baked beans was more than she could stand. She still had miles to walk, so she figured that she would walk off any ill effects by the time she reached home.
So she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she consumed three large orders of baked beans.
All the way home she putt-putted. And upon arriving she felt reasonably sure she could control it.
Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed, “Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight.” He blind-folded her and led her to sit at the table.
She seated herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold from his wife, the telephone rang. He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned. He went to answer the phone.
The baked beans she consumed were still affecting her and the pressure was becoming almost unbearable. So while her husband was out of the room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let it go.
It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. She took her napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously.
Then, she shifted her weight to the other cheek and ripped three more, which reminding her of cabbage cooking.
Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the other room, she went on like this for another 10 minutes.
When the phone farewells signaled the end of her freedom, she fanned the air a few more times with her napkin, placed it on her lap and folded her hand upon it, smiling contentedly to herself.
She was the picture of innocence when her husband returned. Apologizing for taking so long, he asked her if she peeked, and she assured him that had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold and she was surprised!
There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her Happy Birthday!

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Old 04-11-2005, 06:03 PM   #2
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AllenIM how embarrassing, is this from a personal experience? very funny.
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Old 04-11-2005, 06:10 PM   #3
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Remind me not to let my husband blindfold me. I love beans.

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Old 04-11-2005, 06:10 PM   #4
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oh i would have died lol
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Old 04-11-2005, 06:37 PM   #5
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oh i would have died lol
No, he would have..
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Old 04-11-2005, 08:01 PM   #6
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LOL! How funny..!!
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Old 04-11-2005, 08:38 PM   #7
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Ohhhhhhhhhhhh Dang that was TFF, the skunk part KILLED me.................I don't laugh here often..............but that was GREAT!
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Old 04-11-2005, 10:17 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by norgeskog
AllenIM how embarrassing, is this from a personal experience? very funny.
No, that's not from personal experience. It's something I picked up off the internet.

If you want personal experience, I could tell one, but I'd rather not disgust everyone here.
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Old 04-12-2005, 02:17 PM   #9
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OMG!!! That was too funny!!
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Old 04-13-2005, 04:19 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by AllenMI
No, that's not from personal experience. It's something I picked up off the internet.

If you want personal experience, I could tell one, but I'd rather not disgust everyone here.
thank you AllenMI for your good judgment.
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