1 cup castor sugar
1 cup brown sugar
2 cups dried fruit
4 large eggs
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
lots of nuts
1 cup water
1 bottle vodka
Sample the vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the vodka again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour 1 level cup and drink.
Turn on the electric mixer. Beat 1 cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon sugar. Beat again.
At this point it is best to make sure the vodka is still ok.
Try another cup....... just in case.
Turn off the mixerer.
Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Pick fruit off floor.
Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a sdrewscriver.
Sample the vodka to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or somefink. Who giveshz a ****.
Check the vodka.
Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table.
Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.
Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees, and try not to fall over. Dont forget to beat off the turner.
Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the vodka and fall into bed.