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Old 12-20-2005, 02:59 AM   #11
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Santa Claus
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Dear Santa,
I have been a good boy. It really wasn't my fault what happened at Robert's Office party. It was Ernie who spiked the punch with too much Grenadine. I can't help it if I drank 9 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like Cabbage.
I thought it was funny when I put Robert's panty hose on my head and danced the Fruge on the Coffee Table while singing `Boston's Foreplay/Longtime'. I didn't mean to break Robert's iPod and don't know why Robert would accuse me of Putting Ketchup in the Lobster Bisque.
I don't remember calling Ernie's wife a Mangy Jackelope---even though she looked like one with Chartruse eye shadow and Camoflauge lipstick!
And when I threw up on Kelly's husband's Hair, it was only because I ate too much of that Fish.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Bicycle through my neighbor's Chimney. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a Pregnant Hog and have me arrested for Putting Broccoli in the Cranberry Sauce!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all tired and hungover. And I'm really not to blame for any of this party stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and Quickly yours,
Raven (Really a nice boy!)
P.S. It's only 12 bucks!





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Old 12-20-2005, 07:59 AM   #12
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Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Ken's Office party. It was middie who spiked the punch with too much Sprite. I can't help it if I drank 13 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like Rainstorm.
I thought it was funny when I put Piccolina's pants on my head and danced the hip-hop on the couch while singing `All Star'. I didn't mean to break buckytom's Computer and don't know why buckytom would accuse me of theivery.
I don't remember calling Maidrite's wife a green pig---even though she looked like one with blue eye shadow and green lipstick!
And when I threw up on Alix's husband's armpit, it was only because I ate too much of that bread.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my 15 passenger van through my neighbor's kitchen. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a tall tiger and have me arrested for lying! So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all cool and smart. And I'm really not to blame for any of this sweet stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and quickly yours,
Cameron (Really a nice girl!) P.S. It's only 13 bucks!</B>


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Old 12-20-2005, 04:55 PM   #13
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I'll get Barbara out of jail (only five bucks). Trish, darlin, you're gonna hafta stay in da joint.
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Old 12-20-2005, 05:12 PM   #14
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NOOOO, don't leave me here!! The "girl" in the next cell is giving me funny looks!
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Old 12-20-2005, 11:44 PM   #15
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Santa Claus
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Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at jamie's Office party. It was don who spiked the punch with too much pepsi. I can't help it if I drank 13 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like jovan white musk.
I thought it was funny when I put jamie's shirt on my head and danced the waltz on the couch while singing `Main Street'. I didn't mean to break jamie's d.v.d. recorder and don't know why jamie would accuse me of grand theft auto.
I don't remember calling jim's wife a running horse---even though she looked like one with blue eye shadow and red lipstick!
And when I threw up on nicole's husband's arm, it was only because I ate too much of that steak.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my 1965 Mustang through my neighbor's roof. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a smiling wolf and have me arrested for arson! So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all biting and screaming. And I'm really not to blame for any of this laughing stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and sleeping yours,
desiree (Really a nice girl!) P.S. It's only 23 bucks!</B>



roflmbo this is hysterical
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Old 12-23-2005, 11:00 PM   #16
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i think this is too funny so i'm bumping it up
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Old 12-24-2005, 02:36 AM   #17
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Dear Santa Claus
North Pole, Earth

Dear Santa,
I have been a good Boy.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Deadly Sushi's Office party. It was Buckytom who spiked the punch with too much Everclear. I can't help it if I drank 98 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like Down wind of a pig lot.
I thought it was funny when I put Buckytom's Coonskin cap on my head and danced the Street Rap on the Bar Stool while singing `Welcome to the Jungle'. I didn't mean to break Deadly Sushi's Cattle Prod and don't know why Deadly Sushi would accuse me of Cow Tipping !.
I don't remember calling Ken's wife a Little Kitty---even though she looked like one with Green eye shadow and Red lipstick!
And when I threw up on Alix's husband's Back, it was only because I ate too much of that cheese.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my hummer through my neighbor's Bathroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a Sewer soaked Rat and have me arrested for trespassing! So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all dumb and big. And I'm really not to blame for any of this purple stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and sleepily yours,
James (Really a nice Boy!)
P.S. It's only 14 bucks!
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Old 12-26-2005, 07:26 AM   #18
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Santa Claus
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Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Delia's Office party. It was Ruedi who spiked the punch with too much mulled wine. I can't help it if I drank 21 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like vanilla.
I thought it was funny when I put Ulli's trousers on my head and danced the Tango on the bed while singing `Eternity'. I didn't mean to break Delia's DVD Player and don't know why Delia would accuse me of robber.
I don't remember calling Markus's wife a warm cow---even though she looked like one with green eye shadow and blue lipstick!
And when I threw up on sabine's husband's arm, it was only because I ate too much of that rump steak.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Lucy through my neighbor's bedroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a pretty whale and have me arrested for murder! So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all dry and great. And I'm really not to blame for any of this cold stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and later yours,
cara (Really a nice girl!) P.S. It's only 21 bucks!
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Old 01-02-2006, 12:29 PM   #19
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Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Chance Terry's Office party. It was Mr. Pirtle who spiked the punch with too much Coke. I can't help it if I drank 19 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like English Leather Cologne.

I thought it was funny when I put Karen Cross's shoes on my head and danced the Macarena on the Couch while singing `Money Can't buy me love'. I didn't mean to break Chance Terry's iPod and don't know why Chance Terry would accuse me of Murder.

I don't remember calling Mr. Terry's wife a fastest Horse---even though she looked like one with Navy Blue eye shadow and Ruby Red lipstick!

And when I threw up on Mrs. Cross's husband's foot, it was only because I ate too much of that Pizza.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Saleen S7 Twin Turbo through my neighbor's Bay Window. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a slowest Electric Eel and have me arrested for Suicide!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all smooth and rough. And I'm really not to blame for any of this nice stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and Truly yours,
Scotty B. (Really a nice boy!)

P.S. It's only 9000 bucks!
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