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Old 08-18-2005, 02:50 PM   #1
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Dog vs. Cat

Dog vs. Cat

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:
8:00 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 a.m.Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite!
9:40 a.m.Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite!
10:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite! 11:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
Noon- Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite!
1:00 p.m.Oh, boy! The yard! My favorite!
4:00 p.m.Oh, boy! To the park! My favorite!
5:00 p.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5:30 p.m.Oh, boy! Pretty Mums! My favorite!
6:00 p.m.Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favorite!
8:30 p.m Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:

Day 183 of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.

Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. She is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time .....


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Old 08-18-2005, 03:24 PM   #2
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...which is exactly why I'm a dog person.
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Old 08-18-2005, 03:27 PM   #3
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That explains why my cats lay on the stairs & wait until I start to step over them to get up!
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Old 08-18-2005, 04:24 PM   #4
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yep that about sums it up at my house with 1 dog and 2 cats !
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Old 08-18-2005, 04:29 PM   #5
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Andy, I used to just be a dog person, but I have THAT VERY CAT (Shadow) living in my house and I love him anyway! Shelby, the half wit (only she's not), loves him too.
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Old 08-18-2005, 05:36 PM   #6
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I have a cat.
I want a puppy.

like the cat above said "it's only a matter of time".
I just have to wait for hubby die. I always tell him
I'm stopping at the pet store on the way home from the
funeral. He refuses to let me have a dog. He's an old grump! (but, I
love him anyway)
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Old 08-18-2005, 05:41 PM   #7
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This had me cracking up. I have 2 dogs but love cats. Sending you karma for the laughs.
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Old 08-22-2005, 02:20 AM   #8
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I was a dog person until i got my kitten, I love her soooo much I think I may be changing sides lol.
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Old 08-24-2005, 04:34 PM   #9
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Wink

Barbara and I might be able if you twist our arm enough to give anyone a kitten, we have lots of pretty ones.
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Old 08-24-2005, 05:05 PM   #10
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The girls did inform me (as children do) that we needed 2 kittens. Can you post one over?
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