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Old 03-12-2005, 04:06 PM   #1
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In the "New" Dictionary???

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are:
1. Coffee (n.): the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.): appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.): to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.): to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy~nilly (adj.): impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.): describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.): to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.): olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.): emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.): a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.): a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.): the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n): a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.): a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish~isms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.): an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

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Old 03-12-2005, 05:28 PM   #2
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Gargoyle (n.): olive-flavored mouthwash.
YUCK!
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Old 03-13-2005, 05:15 AM   #3
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15. Frisbeetarianism (n.): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

i love this one lmao
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Old 03-13-2005, 02:51 PM   #4
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8. Gargoyle (n.): olive-flavored mouthwash.

Wouldn't that be a garlic-infused olive oil mouthwash?
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Old 03-13-2005, 03:36 PM   #5
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excellent eric, really enjoyed the good laugh.
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Old 03-13-2005, 04:20 PM   #6
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LOL! I also like the definition for Pokemon!
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