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Old 05-10-2005, 02:21 PM   #1
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Talking Interesting Signs

* On the menu of a New Orleans restaurant: "Blackened blue-
fish"

* In a Maine restaurant: "Open seven days a week and
weekends."

* On an established New Mexico dry cleaning store: "Thirty-
eight years on the same spot."

* On a New York convalescent home: "For the sick and tired
of the Episcopal Church"

* Outside a country shop in West Virginia: "We buy junk and
sell antiques."

* In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store: "15 men's
wool suits - $100 - They won't last an hour!"

* A sign seen on a restroom dryer at O'Hare Field in Chicago:
"Do not activate with wet hands."

* In a New York restaurant: "Customers who find our wait-
resses rude ought to see the manager."

* In the offices of a New Jersey loan company: "Ask about
our plans for owning your home."

* In downtown Boston: "Callahan Tunnel - NO END"

* On a Tennessee highway: "Take notice: when this sign is
under water, this road is impassable."

* On the grounds of a private school in Connecticut: "No
trespassing without permission."

* In a New York medical building: "Mental Health Prevention
Center"

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Old 05-10-2005, 02:25 PM   #2
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These are great GB!
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Old 05-10-2005, 02:47 PM   #3
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rofl gb, i'm crying over here. i love the one about owning a home in jersey...
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Old 05-10-2005, 03:47 PM   #4
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Oh my. Those are priceless, thanks GB.
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Old 05-10-2005, 04:34 PM   #5
 
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Lol. I needed this today! These were priceless!
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Old 05-10-2005, 05:08 PM   #6
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Too funny, GB

I've got to check in with the Mental Health Prevention Center.
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Old 05-10-2005, 06:43 PM   #7
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too funny gb. i once saw a sign that said (and this is no joke)
"Do Not Steal This Sign. This Is For Your Own Protection"

so what happens? the sign was stolen (not by me) lmao
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Old 05-11-2005, 12:28 AM   #8
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Here are some more good ones... these are from classified ads:

* 2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 wks old, Perfect markings, 555-1234. Leave mess.

* Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.

* A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.

* Dinner Special : Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.

* For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

* Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.

* Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

* Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.

* Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.

* We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

* For Sale: Three canaries of undermined ***.

* For Sale: Eight puppies from a German Sheppard and an Alaskan Hussy.

* Great Dames for sale.

* Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

* Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

* Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.

* Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.

* Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.

* Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.

* Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.

* Stock up and save: Limit: one.

* For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.

* Man, honest. Will take anything.

* Wanted: Chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References required.

* Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

* UsedCars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!

* Christmans tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.

* Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential.

* Wanted: Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

* 3-year-old teacher need for pre-school. Experience preferred.

* Our experienced Mom will care of your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.

* Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.

* Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.

* Illiterate? Write today for free help.

* Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.

* Wanted: Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.

* And now, the Superstore - unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.

* We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.

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Old 05-13-2005, 05:06 PM   #9
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I love these signs, and to think someone actually wrote the ads and signs. I remember one I saw on a rural highway in Minnesota - Do not past on curve or hill, if the copy don't get you, the undertaker will..... wise and alarming.
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