"Discover Cooking, Discuss Life."

Go Back   Discuss Cooking - Cooking Forums > The Back Porch > Jokes and Games
Click Here to Login
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-10-2005, 01:21 PM   #1
Chief Eating Officer
GB's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: USA,Massachusetts
Posts: 25,509
Talking Interesting Signs

* On the menu of a New Orleans restaurant: "Blackened blue-

* In a Maine restaurant: "Open seven days a week and

* On an established New Mexico dry cleaning store: "Thirty-
eight years on the same spot."

* On a New York convalescent home: "For the sick and tired
of the Episcopal Church"

* Outside a country shop in West Virginia: "We buy junk and
sell antiques."

* In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store: "15 men's
wool suits - $100 - They won't last an hour!"

* A sign seen on a restroom dryer at O'Hare Field in Chicago:
"Do not activate with wet hands."

* In a New York restaurant: "Customers who find our wait-
resses rude ought to see the manager."

* In the offices of a New Jersey loan company: "Ask about
our plans for owning your home."

* In downtown Boston: "Callahan Tunnel - NO END"

* On a Tennessee highway: "Take notice: when this sign is
under water, this road is impassable."

* On the grounds of a private school in Connecticut: "No
trespassing without permission."

* In a New York medical building: "Mental Health Prevention


You know you can't resist clicking
this link. Your eyes will thank you. VISUAL BLISS
GB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2005, 01:25 PM   #2
Master Chef
PA Baker's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: USA, Pennsylvania
Posts: 6,000

These are great GB!

-A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand
PA Baker is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2005, 01:47 PM   #3
Chef Extraordinaire
buckytom's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: My mountain
Posts: 20,512
rofl gb, i'm crying over here. i love the one about owning a home in jersey...
buckytom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2005, 02:47 PM   #4
Alix's Avatar
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Edmonton, Alberta
Posts: 23,201
Oh my. Those are priceless, thanks GB.
You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. Robin Williams
Alix is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2005, 03:34 PM   #5
choclatechef's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: USA
Posts: 1,680
Lol. I needed this today! These were priceless!
choclatechef is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2005, 04:08 PM   #6
Executive Chef
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,356
Too funny, GB

I've got to check in with the Mental Health Prevention Center.
mish is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2005, 05:43 PM   #7
Chef Extraordinaire
middie's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Cleveland,Ohio USA
Posts: 16,263
Send a message via Yahoo to middie
too funny gb. i once saw a sign that said (and this is no joke)
"Do Not Steal This Sign. This Is For Your Own Protection"

so what happens? the sign was stolen (not by me) lmao
middie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2005, 11:28 PM   #8
Ruth's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Quincy, MA (just south of Boston)
Posts: 65
Send a message via Yahoo to Ruth
Here are some more good ones... these are from classified ads:

* 2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 wks old, Perfect markings, 555-1234. Leave mess.

* Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.

* A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.

* Dinner Special : Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.

* For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

* Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.

* Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

* Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.

* Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.

* We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

* For Sale: Three canaries of undermined ***.

* For Sale: Eight puppies from a German Sheppard and an Alaskan Hussy.

* Great Dames for sale.

* Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

* Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

* Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.

* Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.

* Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.

* Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.

* Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.

* Stock up and save: Limit: one.

* For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.

* Man, honest. Will take anything.

* Wanted: Chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References required.

* Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

* UsedCars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!

* Christmans tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.

* Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential.

* Wanted: Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

* 3-year-old teacher need for pre-school. Experience preferred.

* Our experienced Mom will care of your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.

* Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.

* Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.

* Illiterate? Write today for free help.

* Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.

* Wanted: Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.

* And now, the Superstore - unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.

* We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.

Ruth is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-13-2005, 04:06 PM   #9
Certified Executive Chef
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Eugene, Oregon
Posts: 3,615
I love these signs, and to think someone actually wrote the ads and signs. I remember one I saw on a rural highway in Minnesota - Do not past on curve or hill, if the copy don't get you, the undertaker will..... wise and alarming.

norgeskog is offline   Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

» Discuss Cooking on Facebook

Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:22 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 4
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.