Okay since I don't know what to do on a rainy day, I thought why not do what most women like to do? TIME TO HAVE A MALE/FEMALE WAR!!!! Okay I get to start.
What did god say after creating man?
I can do better.
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
1. No mind. 2. No business.
What do you call an intelligent man in America?
Why do jocks play on artificial turf?
To keep them from grazing.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because they already have boyfriends.
Husband: I don't know why you wear a bra, you've got nothing to put in it?
Wife: You wear briefs, don't you?
How many men does it take to pop popcorn?
Three. One to hold the pan and two others to show off and shake the stove.
Q: HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A ROLL OF TOILET PAPER?
A: We don't know... it's never happened!!
A blonde guy was driving down the highway to Disneyland when he saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a minute, he said to himself "oh well!" and turned around and drove home!
Q: It seems that this perfect man met this perfect woman and they got married. One day on December 24 they were driving down the road and they noticed a man stranded on the side of the road. This was no ordinary man, but it was Santa Claus. Being the perfect people that they were they offered Santa a ride because he was in a hurry to get his toys delivered. So the perfect man and perfect woman sped up to deliver Santa to his destination on time. Alas, the roads were slippery and the car got into an accident and 2 of the 3 people were killed. Can you guess who survived?
A: Since Santa Claus and a Perfect Man are both myths...the perfect woman had to survive.