"Discover Cooking, Discuss Life."

Go Back   Discuss Cooking - Cooking Forums > The Back Porch > Jokes and Games
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 09-20-2005, 12:23 PM   #1
Executive Chef
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,357
The Strangest Things Left in Rental Cars

The Strangest Things Left in Rental Cars

If you're still missing that CD or umbrella you accidentally left in your rental car last year, just be glad you didn't leave something else. Something embarrassing. Alamo Rent-A-Car compiled a list of items left in their cars in England and among the most unusual items are false teeth, a black leather whip, a false leg, a cat in the engine, a G-string in the sun visor and a wedding dress, reports Life Style Extra.

The survey also included a list of some of the strangest reasons customers gave when they damaged the rental cars.

--" I hit a cow crossing the road."

--"I didn't see the wall until I'd reversed into it."

--"A pheasant came out of nowhere and got stuck in the grill."

--"I just woke up one morning and it was there" was the explanation given by a man who returned a car with extensive damage to the car.

Perhaps the funniest story of all is why a woman needed a replacement set of keys. She claimed that a bird swooped down and stole them off the car roof.

This reminded me of a thread I posted way back re actual Car Insurance Excuses. Looks like drivers have come up with some new ones.

Insurance Excuses

Each one of these insurance claims was taken from an actual form.
They are all non-fiction.
  • The accident was due to the other man narrowly missing me.
  • The lorry driver halted and worked for the corporation.
  • I collided with a stationary tramcar coming in the other direction.
  • The occupants were stalking deer on the hillside.
  • I left my Austin Seven outside, and when I came out later, to my amazement there was an Austin Twelve.
  • To avoid a collision I ran into the other car.
  • There were plenty of lookers on, but no witnesses.
  • The water from my radiator accidently froze at twelve midnight.
  • The accident was due to an invisible lorry narrowly missing me.
  • I was scraping my nearside on the bank when the accident occurred.
  • After the accident a working gentleman offered to be a witness in my favour.
  • I collided with a stationary tree.
  • There was no damage to the car as the gate post will testify.
  • The accident was due to the road bending.
  • The witness gave his occupation as a gentleman but it would be more correct in calling him a garage proprietor.
  • The other man altered his mind and I had to run over him.
  • I told the other idiot what he was and went on.
  • One wheel went into the ditch. My foot jumped from the accellerator pedal, leapt across the lane to the other side and jammed in the trunk of a tree.
  • I remember nothing after passing the Crown Hotel until I came to and saw P.C. Brown.
  • A cow wandered into my car. I was afterwards informed that the cow was half-witted.
  • A bull was standing near-by and a fly must have tickled him because he gored my car.
  • If the other driver had stopped a few yards behind himself, it would not have happened.
  • She suddenly saw me, lost her head and we collided.
  • I bumped into a lamp-post which was obscured by human beings.
  • I ran into the shop window and sustained injuries to my wife.
  • I misjudged a lady crossing the street.
  • I heard a horn blow and was violently struck in the back - a lady was evidently trying to pass me.
  • Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I haven't got.
  • Three women were talking to each other, and when one stepped back and one stepped forward I had to have an accident.
  • I can give no details of the accident as I was somewhat concussed at the time.
  • Wilful damage was done to the upholstery by rats.
  • A pedestrian hit me and went underneath my car.
  • I blew my horn but it would not work as it was stolen.
  • I thought the garage had only four posts, but my car bumped into a fifth.
  • I was overhauling the car when it was stolen.
  • A lamp-post bumped into my car, damaging it in two places.
  • The car in front of me stopped suddenly and I crashed gently into his luggage grid.
  • I left my car unattended for a minute and whether by accident or design it ran away.
  • The other car collided with mine without giving any warning of its intentions.
  • I unfortunately ran over a pedestrian and the old gentleman was taken to hospital much regretting the circumstances.
  • I thought the side window was down but it was up as I found out when I put my head through it.
  • I consider neither vehicle to blame, but if either was to blame it was the other one.
  • I knocked over a man. He admitted it was his fault and had been knocked over before.
  • I looked for the sign but the more I looked the more I couldn't find it.
  • By the way, I believe if I had lost my head the accident could have been worse.
  • I was knocked out as a result of the collision and was taken to hospital where I sustained serious injuries.
  • The other car collided with mine without giving any warning of its intention.
  • A truck backed through my windshield and into my wife's face.
  • The bloke was all over the road, I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
  • I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
  • In attempting to kill a fly I drove into a telephone pole.
  • I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.
  • I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing my to have an accident.
  • As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
  • To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck the pedestrian.
  • My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
  • An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
  • I told the police I was not injured but upon removing my hat I found I had a fractured skull.
  • I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.
  • The pedestrian had no idea in which direction to run, so I ran over him.
  • I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the bonnet of my car.
  • The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
  • I was thrown from my car as it left the road and was later found in a ditch by some stray boys.
  • The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of the way when I struck the front end.
  • Leaving home for work I drove out of my drive straight into a bus; the bus was five minutes early.
  • The accident was caused by me waving to the man I hit last week.
  • I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel.


mish is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-20-2005, 12:33 PM   #2
Chef Extraordinaire
pdswife's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Washington
Posts: 20,308
Send a message via AIM to pdswife Send a message via MSN to pdswife Send a message via Yahoo to pdswife
Laughter in the morning. Thanks!

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on. Robert Frost
pdswife is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-20-2005, 12:40 PM   #3
Head Chef
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,313
This was great! Almost sounds like our employees excuses! lol
You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you can't close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.
KAYLINDA is offline   Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

» Discuss Cooking on Facebook

Our Communities

Our communities encompass many different hobbies and interests, but each one is built on friendly, intelligent membership.

» More about our Communities

Automotive Communities

Our Automotive communities encompass many different makes and models. From U.S. domestics to European Saloons.

» More about our Automotive Communities

Marine Communities

Our Marine websites focus on Cruising and Sailing Vessels, including forums and the largest cruising Wiki project on the web today.

» More about our Marine Communities

Copyright 2002-2015 Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:38 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 4
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.