Today's Funny

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DL, that was hilarious! I thought DH would get a kick out if it, but I had to explain it to him, he just wasn't getting it. That cracked me up even more! He finally got it, but by then it was meh...
 
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A 7-year-old and his 4-year-old brother are upstairs in their bedroom. The 7-year-old is explaining that it is high time that the two of them begin swearing. When his little brother responds enthusiastically, the 7-year old says,' 'When we go downstairs for breakfast this morning, I'll say' hell' and you say' ass'.'' The 4-year-old happily agrees. As the two boys are seating themselves at the breakfast table, their mother walks in and asks her older son what he would like to eat for breakfast. The 7-year-old replies,' 'Aw hell, Mom, I'll just have some Cheerios." The surprised mother reacts quickly and whacks him one. The boy runs upstairs, bawling and rubbing his behind. With a sterner note in her voice, the mother then asks the younger son,' 'And what would YOU like for breakfast?''' 'I don't know,'' the 4-year-old blubbers,' 'but you can bet your ASS it's not gonna be Cheerios!''
 
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A 7-year-old and his 4-year-old brother are upstairs in their bedroom. The 7-year-old is explaining that it is high time that the two of them begin swearing. When his little brother responds enthusiastically, the 7-year old says,' 'When we go downstairs for breakfast this morning, I'll say' hell' and you say' ass'.'' The 4-year-old happily agrees. As the two boys are seating themselves at the breakfast table, their mother walks in and asks her older son what he would like to eat for breakfast. The 7-year-old replies,' 'Aw hell, Mom, I'll just have some Cheerios." The surprised mother reacts quickly and whacks him one. The boy runs upstairs, bawling and rubbing his behind. With a sterner note in her voice, the mother then asks the younger son,' 'And what would YOU like for breakfast?''' 'I don't know,'' the 4-year-old blubbers,' 'but you can bet your ASS it's not gonna be Cheerios!''
:LOL::LOL:
 
A 7-year-old and his 4-year-old brother are upstairs in their bedroom. The 7-year-old is explaining that it is high time that the two of them begin swearing. When his little brother responds enthusiastically, the 7-year old says,' 'When we go downstairs for breakfast this morning, I'll say' hell' and you say' ass'.'' The 4-year-old happily agrees. As the two boys are seating themselves at the breakfast table, their mother walks in and asks her older son what he would like to eat for breakfast. The 7-year-old replies,' 'Aw hell, Mom, I'll just have some Cheerios." The surprised mother reacts quickly and whacks him one. The boy runs upstairs, bawling and rubbing his behind. With a sterner note in her voice, the mother then asks the younger son,' 'And what would YOU like for breakfast?''' 'I don't know,'' the 4-year-old blubbers,' 'but you can bet your ASS it's not gonna be Cheerios!''

I love it :LOL: :LOL:
 
I get all my emails for DC only in my google account. I am walking by the computer, and up on the screen is an email titled "How to cook a turkey." Only as I walk by it quickly, I read it as "How to cook a tummy." Oh, I think to myslef., a new way to lose weight? Shouldn't that be in the "Is anyone trying to lose wieght?" PF, are yous sure you want to trust Shrek in my hands even if only for a couple of days? I am the one that needs a vacation. :angel:
 
I get all my emails for DC only in my google account. I am walking by the computer, and up on the screen is an email titled "How to cook a turkey." Only as I walk by it quickly, I read it as "How to cook a tummy." Oh, I think to myslef., a new way to lose weight? Shouldn't that be in the "Is anyone trying to lose wieght?" PF, are yous sure you want to trust Shrek in my hands even if only for a couple of days? I am the one that needs a vacation. :angel:

Yes, please take him...he's making me crazy. I do know how to do things and if he wants me to stop telling him how to get where in the car it would be nice if he told me. I've always been the nag-ivator.
 
Yes, please take him...he's making me crazy. I do know how to do things and if he wants me to stop telling him how to get where in the car it would be nice if he told me. I've always been the nag-ivator.

The bain of every wife who has a retired husband while she still has work to be done. I think my daughter is going to kill her husband now that they are both home together 24/7 constantly. The only problem is that she is not feeling her best and he is one step below useless when it comes to keeping a home functioning. :angel:
 
The carburetor

"The car won't start," said a wife to her husband. "I think there's water in the carburetor."

"How do you know?" said the husband scornfully. "You don't even know what the carburetor is."

"I'm telling you," repeated the wife, "I'm sure there's water in the carburetor."

"We'll see," mocked the husband. "Let me check it out. Where's the car?"


"In the swimming pool."

 
The bain of every wife who has a retired husband while she still has work to be done. I think my daughter is going to kill her husband now that they are both home together 24/7 constantly. The only problem is that she is not feeling her best and he is one step below useless when it comes to keeping a home functioning. :angel:

Wouldn't be so bad if I didn't turn into an instant idiot as soon as I got home. You'd think I was still in Kindergarten...
 
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