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Old 08-15-2012, 07:00 PM   #1411
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Old 08-15-2012, 11:16 PM   #1412
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Old 08-15-2012, 11:55 PM   #1413
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One of my favourite urban legends.

A young woman was in line for the lift at the ski hill. She had to pee, but it was a long line and she was already more than halfway. She figured she would use the facilities at the chalet at the top of the hill. It just got worse. By the time she was on the lift and near the top her back teeth were floating. She got off the lift and saw some bushes. She dashed over to the bushes, planted her ski poles, pulled down her trousers and the skis took off.

She was now heading down the slope with no ski poles and her trousers around her ankles. She was picking up speed, as one does when skiing crouched down. She was starting to panic. She couldn't use the beginner method of slowing down: just drag your bum. So, eventually, she tipped herself sideways and came to a stop. She was bruised and scraped and the Ski Patrol brought her to the first aid station.

There was a young man being patched up. He was pretty badly injured. He had skied into a tree and had broken several bones. When asked what happened he said, "I didn't see the tree because I was watching some b***h who was mooning me."

They rode to the hospital in the same ambulance.
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Old 08-15-2012, 11:57 PM   #1414
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ROFL!!!
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Old 08-16-2012, 12:02 AM   #1415
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Mike Rowe is one of my favorite Man Crushes, I would love to hang out, and have some beers with that guy.




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Old 08-16-2012, 02:39 AM   #1416
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Good night! Sleep tight!
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Old 08-16-2012, 04:24 AM   #1417
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They are all great
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Old 08-16-2012, 07:42 AM   #1418
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Old 08-16-2012, 11:29 AM   #1419
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Bed pugs
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Old 08-16-2012, 12:41 PM   #1420
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I just got this from my mummy-in-law:
(Four worms and a lesson to be learned !!!)

A Minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.
Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good, clean soil.
At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:
The first worm in alcohol ...

Dead.

The second worm in cigarette smoke

...

Dead.

The third worm in chocolate syrup

...

Dead.

The fourth worm in good, clean soil

...Alive.
So the Minister asked the congregation, "What did you learn from this demonstration?"
Maxine was sitting in the back and quickly raised

her hand and said,

"As long as you drink, smoke, and eat chocolate, you won't have
worms!"
That pretty much ended the service !!
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