"Discover Cooking, Discuss Life."

Go Back   Discuss Cooking - Cooking Forums > The Back Porch > Jokes and Games
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
 
Old 10-10-2012, 11:07 PM   #2121
Ogress Supreme
 
PrincessFiona60's Avatar
Site Administrator
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Wyoming
Posts: 36,305
I'm taking sparkles to my next appointment in a couple of weeks.
__________________

__________________
PrincessFiona60 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-10-2012, 11:25 PM   #2122
Chef Extraordinaire
 
taxlady's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: near Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Posts: 18,893
Send a message via Skype™ to taxlady
Quote:
Originally Posted by PrincessFiona60 View Post
I'm taking sparkles to my next appointment in a couple of weeks.
That's what I was thinking too.
__________________

__________________
May you live as long as you wish and love as long as you live.
Robert A. Heinlein
taxlady is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 10-11-2012, 02:49 AM   #2123
Master Chef
 
Snip 13's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Brakpan, South Africa
Posts: 5,431
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katie H View Post
Omigosh! I laughed until I was coughing and I read it to my husband and I thought he was going to hurt himself laughing.

As it turns out, I have my "annual" appointment in a couple of weeks and my doc has come to expect a stellar joke from me. Boy, do I have a beaut for him this time. Yeah!!!!!!!!

Thanks, Snip!
Only a pleasure!
If you laugh the world laughs with you, if you cry , you cry alone.
Laughter truelly is the best medicine!
__________________
Odette
"I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass."

"I hear voices and they don't like you "
Snip 13 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-11-2012, 03:08 AM   #2124
Chef Extraordinaire
 
Kylie1969's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 13,936
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsLMB View Post
That is classic!
__________________
All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt
Kylie1969 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-11-2012, 03:08 AM   #2125
Chef Extraordinaire
 
Kylie1969's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 13,936
Quote:
Originally Posted by PrincessFiona60 View Post
I'm taking sparkles to my next appointment in a couple of weeks.


Snip may have started a new trend
__________________
All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt
Kylie1969 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-11-2012, 02:46 PM   #2126
Master Chef
 
Snip 13's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Brakpan, South Africa
Posts: 5,431
The 'Middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but
the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade
classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions
with my students.

It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame.
Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch,
stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on
them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're
welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid,
takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow
stuffed under her sweater.

She holds up a snapshot of an infant. "This is Luke, my baby brother, and
I'm going to tell you about his birthday. First, Mom and Dad made him as a
symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke
grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord."

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to
laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in
amazement.

"Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh,
Oh!'" Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. "She walked around the
house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!'" Now this kid is doing a hysterical
duck walk and groaning.

"My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a
sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed
like this." Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.

"And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he
got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like
psshhheew!'" This kid has her legs spread with her little hands mimicking
water flowing away. It was too much!

"Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe'.
They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden,
out comes my brother.. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it
was from Mom's play-center, (placenta) so there must be a lot of toys inside
there. When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in
there."

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat.

I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell
day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another 'Middle Wife' comes along.
__________________
Odette
"I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass."

"I hear voices and they don't like you "
Snip 13 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-11-2012, 02:49 PM   #2127
Master Chef
 
Snip 13's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Brakpan, South Africa
Posts: 5,431
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kylie1969 View Post


Snip may have started a new trend
You go girls! Of all the people in the world I think your OBG's need sparkle the most
__________________
Odette
"I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass."

"I hear voices and they don't like you "
Snip 13 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-11-2012, 03:19 PM   #2128
Certified Pretend Chef
 
Andy M.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 41,394
Quote:
Originally Posted by Snip 13 View Post
You go girls! Of all the people in the world I think your OBG's need sparkle the most

I disagree. I think proctologists need it way more than ObGyns. Some Febreze might be a good idea too.
__________________
"If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe." -Carl Sagan
Andy M. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-11-2012, 03:28 PM   #2129
Master Chef
 
Snip 13's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Brakpan, South Africa
Posts: 5,431
Quote:
Originally Posted by Andy M. View Post
I disagree. I think proctologists need it way more than ObGyns. Some Febreze might be a good idea too.
Snort!
__________________
Odette
"I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass."

"I hear voices and they don't like you "
Snip 13 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-11-2012, 04:26 PM   #2130
Chef Extraordinaire
 
Kylie1969's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 13,936
Quote:
Originally Posted by Snip 13 View Post
You go girls! Of all the people in the world I think your OBG's need sparkle the most
That is for sure
__________________

__________________
All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt
Kylie1969 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

« Song Title Game | - »
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



» Discuss Cooking on Facebook

Our Communities

Our communities encompass many different hobbies and interests, but each one is built on friendly, intelligent membership.

» More about our Communities

Automotive Communities

Our Automotive communities encompass many different makes and models. From U.S. domestics to European Saloons.

» More about our Automotive Communities

Marine Communities

Our Marine websites focus on Cruising and Sailing Vessels, including forums and the largest cruising Wiki project on the web today.

» More about our Marine Communities


Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:25 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 4
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.