Today's Funny

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Cracked me up: (from a dear friend)
A rather old fashioned lady, always quite delicate and elegant, especially in her language, was planning a weeks holiday in Sydney with her husband, so she wrote to a particular camping ground and asked for a reservation.
She wanted to make sure that the camping ground was fully equipped, but didn't know quite how to ask about the toilet facilities. She just couldn't bring herself
to write the word "toilet" in her letter.
After much thought, she finally came up with the old fashioned term "Bathroom closet" but when she wrote it down, she still thought she was being too forward, so she started all over again, rewrote the letter, and referred to the bathroom closet as the B.C.
"Does the camping ground have it's own B.C." is what she wrote.
Well, the camping ground owner wasn't a bit old fashioned, and he just couldn't figure out what the old lady was talking about, so he showed the letter around a few of the campers and the only thing they could come up with was that B.C. stood for Baptist Church, so he wrote the following reply.
Dear Madam,
I regret very much the delay in answering your letter, but I now take the pleasure of informing you that a B.C. is located nine miles north of our camping ground, and is capable of seating 250 people at one time.
I admit that it is quite a distance away if you are in the habit of going regularly but no doubt you will be pleased to know that a great number of campers go there and many take their lunches along and make a day of it. They usually arrive nice and early and stay quite late.
The last time my wife and I went was six years ago, and it was so crowded we had to stand up the whole time we were there. It may interest you to know that there is a special supper planned there to raise money to buy more seats so that everyone will be able to sit in comfort.
I would like to say that it pains me very much not to be able to go more regularly, but it is surely no lack of desire on my part, just that I am so busy most of the time.
As we grow older, it seems to be more of an effort to go, especially in the cold weather. If you decide to come down to our camping ground perhaps I could go with you the first time you go, sit with you and introduce you to all the other folks.
Remember this is a very friendly community
 
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Dawg,
That is sooo old! It was originally done about a W.C. Water closet (toilet) and was interpreted as to a Wayside Chapel.
Jack Paar quit the tonight show many years ago because they would not let him tell that joke.
 
I know, Souschef, but every time I see the joke in one of its many variations, it still cracks me up! The first time I saw it, it was W.C.

Figured some of our younger folks might enjoy too, a true classic! Didn't realize Jack Paar quit because of it though, great trivia!
 
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I know, Souschef, but every time I see the joke in one of its many variations, it still cracks me up! The first time I saw it, it was W.C.

Figured some of our younger folks might enjoy too, a true classic!
Didn't realize Jack Paar quit because of it though, great trivia!

Every great comic knows you don’t need to keep coming up with new material. You just need to find a new audience.

Henny Youngman - "My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle." :ermm::ohmy::LOL:
 
For those of you who are worried about how your eating and drinking habits affect your risk of heart attacks, here's the final word on nutrition and health.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats ad suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
6. Swedes eat lots of chocolate yet suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
7. British, Irish and Scots drink lots of alcohol and have similar heart attack rates as Americans.

THE INESCAPABLE CONCLUSION:
Eat and drink whatever you want. Speaking English is what causes heart attacks.

 
Dawg...I've never heard that before and got a kick out of it! :LOL:

Andy, makes sense to me! :LOL: LOL, I loved that.
 
Dawg,
That is sooo old! It was originally done about a W.C. Water closet (toilet) and was interpreted as to a Wayside Chapel.
Jack Paar quit the tonight show many years ago because they would not let him tell that joke.

:LOL: Let me tell all of you that my Souschef has me rolling my eyes :rolleyes: daily over the old jokes he tells me. He remembers every single one he ever heard. Tiz a curse I tell ya!:wacko:
 
Okay...this is a true story.

I had gotten out of bed, at some point I had put on my glasses, but I was unable to read something so moved them to the top of my head. When I got done with what I was messing with I opened my glasses case and they were not there. They were not on the nightstand or on the bed. I hollered for Shrek, and he couldn't find them either. Just as he turned to go get a stronger flashlight, I put my hand up to push my hair back. I told Shrek to stop and look at me. He's still laughing his butt off.

Later was looking for one of the cats, asked Shrek to check to see if she was on my head.
 
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